Wow. Where do I begin? It had been an entire year and then some since I sat down and wrote words on this page. And then I didn’t feel ready yet, so it was saved in the drafts. I started it again last fall, and was all ready to publish, but then felt a check in my spirit once again. Now three years have passed. Three years of resting. Three years of stepping back. Three years of letting go of so many idols and strongholds in my heart, and seeing God move it and transform in ways no words can express. Of letting go and giving God freedom to prune. My eyes were opened to how I had tied so much of my identity into my blog and the approval received here and in my various ministries in our church body. Tis so sweet to see what God can do when you follow His lead in simply letting it all go completely without holding onto what might happen in the future. But it is now time for an update at the very least!
2013-2016 have included a new job for Aaron at a local web development firm. Then the courage gained to launch out again in starting his own business in the same field. He has now been running his own business for about one year. It included an awesome vacation with my entire side of the family to Mexico, and multiple trips to the Oregon coast and camping in between. Our little ones have turned 9, 7 & 4, and we have nearly completed another year of homeschooling with my Karis girl in 3rd grade, and my son Titus in 1st grade, and Eden joining in for the ride, and adopting a more flexible Charlotte Mason educational philosophy in our home. We love circle time, studying famous artists and composers, poetry tea times, and lots and lots of read alouds. We are coming up quickly upon our 10th anniversary (in May 2016), and we both turned 30 in the past year! It included finding true community in our church, with a godly mentorship and accountability relationship with another woman, meeting weekly and hashing through my strongholds of identity, anxiety, and performance mentality.
It included a difficult miscarriage in the Spring of 2014…where the physical issues carried on and on. My heart was stripped bare like it had never been done before. But God’s mercy is new every morning, and two more little feet were added to our numbers on March 2, 2015, with the arrival of Helen Shalom (“peaceful light bearer”). She is now one year old!
These past years I have been experiencing more of God’s peace and trusting in Christ’s finished work on my behalf instead of putting my hope in my performance and striving for His approval through my perfectionistic tendencies.
A few of the lessons learned in brief (stated here for my own remembrance):
1. Never stop investing in your marriage. We are learning to think outside the box, finding creative things to do together on date nights on the town or at home. But most of all, I’ve learned to stop trying to change my husband. That’s God’s job and not mine. With the embracing of that simple truth, I have found my love increase for this man and just enjoying him for who he is. It’s been beautiful and freeing!
2. Stop being a worrier and become a warrior for God instead. My soul has been meditating on Exodus 14:14 for many moons, “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at REST.”
3. Make community a priority. Getting in weekly accountability with other sisters in Christ has been incredibly fruitful. If you want to see growth and freedom, this is one of God’s means of grace.
4. Cease striving and know that He is God. He requires nothing, absolutely nothing, that I bring, but simple faith and believing that He made the perfect performance so that t I wouldn’t have to. Don’t forget the gospel and who you really are in Christ.
5. God makes no mistakes. Even in my past failures, suffering, and business disasters, God has made no mistakes. My life and story to date is not plan B. Even my shortcomings are a gift, pointing me to the strength that God uniquely supplies for me. He has only good in store for you (Jer 29:11). The pain that is right before you is part of the beautiful tapestry He is weaving of our lives.
God is good.
I’ve been praying a lot about his blog for quite some time now. I have felt a longing in my heart to begin again off and on. But I kept waiting. I honestly don’t know what it will look like from here. So many interests and passions have changed or been tweaked in my life. I no longer soak my grains or am stickler for real food 100% of the time. I still love cooking healthy whole food meals from scratch…but its no longer my top priority. Relationships are far more important. Last year I applied myself to loosing my baby weight and adopted a Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle and really enjoyed that journey and found it effective. I have loosened up in the last few months after reaching my pre-prego weight, but still love experimenting with sugar free desserts! I just hope to post little snip-its here and there of our journey faithfully embracing this simple, ordinary life. I’m going to let if flow naturally as the Lord leads and hold passionately to my boundaries. Maybe a sprinkling of topics on homeschooling (since that takes up most of my life right now , book reviews (since I’m still a huge reader!), sharing recommended resources (my pet peeve is being a researcher!), and simple healthy recipes and home routines. But there won’t be any set schedule. Not sure if there is anyone still listening, but I’ll be waiting on the Lord and see how He leads.