I had an adventurous evening last night. With my husband away working extra night hours to launch his new business, this momma has been acting the part of a single mommy trying to juggle all the aspects of child care, home maintenance, and food preparation on her own. While struggling with little to no sleep, it has surely been challenging. My infant refused to go to sleep due to stuffy noses and stayed up with me till 10:30pm, while I strove to contain a pile high of laundry, amidst my toddler boy getting up repeatedly to use the toilet, always needing help in the process.
Finally coming up at 10:30, only to discover my toddler crying at the top of his lunges standing in a puddle of pee, soaked through his jammies. While he stands there crying, my infant is lying on the bed with poop leaking through her diaper onto my comforter. Running back and forth, I madly try to change each of them, nurse the baby, comfort the toddler (who gets incredibly distraught when he has an accident), and settle them all down in their beds. So much for a quiet evening to myself. And this was just the evening…we won’t get into the adventures of the day. 
I finally crashed on the bed, leaving the cleanups for the morning. Normally I would be stressed out, frazzled, and ready to throw in the towel. What did I get myself into? I might moan and feel sorry for myself. But tonight, God supplied me with an extra measure of grace to simply sit back and laugh. To replay the situation and see the humor in it all. To laugh at all the adventures this mothering business provides. To let go of my frustration and weariness and embrace the journey He has called me to. We will surely look back in years to come and laugh…why not do it now? Feeling sorry for myself surely won’t get me anywhere. It won’t improve my situation. It won’t increase my contentment. Laughter provides such healing to the soul.
It reminded me of Ma Ingall’s sage advice in the Little House on the Prairie tv series. She was getting all frustrated over something Pa had done and seeping in anger in her inner being. She finally declares to Pa, “It’s such a waste of time to be angry at you.” And they heartily laugh together. This struck me. She had such wisdom to discern the pointlessness of focusing on her own frustrations and disappointments. Feeling sorry for herself surely didn’t improve the situation. She realized that ultimately it is just a waste of time.
I rise this morning with several messes on hand…but the joy of the Lord as my strength! Go forth in the joy of the Lord today my friends and seek to let go and laugh. May the Lord supply us with grace to embrace the challenges, to laugh at the adventures, and to do all in the grace and strength that He alone supplies.
Remember the wise woman of Proverbs 31:25: “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” I pray for this freedom to let go of fear and laugh at ourselves in our daily lives and to have such trust in the Lord that we can laugh as we look forward to the adventures of the future.
I really appreciate this blog post. I just stumbled upon this blog and I was so pleasantly surprised at the combination of useful household application and the spiritual encouragement! Thank you!
I really appreciated this blog post… I have had a full day–we’re flying out for a long trip in 1 1/2 days, just had a houseful of guests last night, little guy is potty training (and having accidents pretty often, on the floor), hubby worked late, wisdom teeth are still hurting after my extraction 4 weeks ago and I had to rush to an appointment today for that, and to top it all off, my busy little son pulled a whole roll of toilet paper off the the roll and wound it all around the house, following this by stuffing as much as he could fit in the toilet (in an effort to “help” clean up, I have no doubt). Ah, the joys of motherhood.
I appreciate your reminder to let go of the self centeredness approach and just laugh and make the best of it.
This is my life right now. We were affected by the recent tornadoes (but made it through unscathed) and my husband has been involved on the clean up crews. I totally support him, but he’s gone all day, in the evenings and on Saturday, then Sunday comes around and he has church and stewardship responsibilities…Right now my son is screaming at me. Life is crazy sometimes, but it really pays to laugh instead of cry or scream back, mess or no mess.
Thank you for posting this! I haven’t been able to check my email in a few days so I just read this a few minutes ago. The Lord must know that I needed this reminder today-I have three girls that are about the same ages as your little ones, and we both know there are “those days” or even “those weeks”! I have been struggling lately with getting angry and snapping at my older daughters-which is not usually my disposition-but God is reminding me to constantly be in prayer to battle my flesh and live in the Spirit. Thanks for your blog-it is a great source of encouragement to me.
This is such a great reminder! We recently welcomed our second daughter into the family and there are moments when it’s all I can do not to curl up in a ball on the floor
But then I remember that this life is a gift from the Lord, challenges and all…why would I want to miss one second?! I’ve been following Passionate Homemaking since the birth of our first little girl and I can’t tell you what a wonderful resource and encouragement it’s been for me. I linked this post on my new blog so that even more ladies can find you! Thanks for writing, Lindsay!
Thanks for this today. God had just given me the verse, Zeph 3:18 where it says He will quiet us with His love and He will take great delight in us. Because you were able to rise above your circumstances and STILL show love and delight to your children instead of anger…you QUIETED them to sleep finally. His word is precious and thank you for the verse you blogged.
luv this post! And its so comforting to read everyone’s comments and see that I’m not alone in raising 2 little ones with my husband gone most of the time. It is SOOOO hard but important to remember how fortunate I am to have my beautiful babies.
yes, laughter is great medicine. i have heard it releases the same chemicals in the brain as crying. interesting, huh?
most recent post: 6 keys to dealing with emotional funks
WHAT an encouragement! I laughed and cried reading this! This is just beautiful. What beautiful mamas we become when we respond this way! This is what I want for our home. Beauty and grace in the midst of trying circumstances. Thank you Lyndsay.
Thank you for being so genuine! I love that little blip from Little House on the Prairie. I’ve never read it (or seen the movie), but it sounds like a good one. Keep it the GREAT work and God bless you!
A good friend once told me, that when it’s one of these crazy days (or in your case nights) I should try to see myself as a star in a comedy. I love this advice, because life with three kids is often so much funnier (and extreme) than any sitcom could ever be!
So thankful for when you’re willing to share all your messes
. It’s an encouragement more than you know.
And I LOVE the fact that you took a picture of your crying toddler. Totally made me laugh. I’ve actually done the same thing with my daughter
.
You should post on what you do to kind of recover and regroup when your husband comes back to try and get back to some state of normal.
Hah! I wish I had taken this picture! I thought it was classic…but no, it’s just a funny picture I found on flickr. Sorry to disappoint.
A great post! Isn’t it wonderful how we can have peace in the Lord and know that praying can help change our outlook on situations?!
Great post. Reminds me to keep laugh at the occasional chaos. One day our little ones will be men and women, and we’ll remember.
Thank you for this post, it struck a chord and was something I definitely needed to be reminded of today!
I’m going to keep this wise advice safe in my pocket for the next time I’m tempted to feel sorry for myself. Thank you!
I am right with you in this! My husband works long hours and I have 2 wonderful daughters, 23 months and 2 months. There are times I wish I had 4 arms to do it all, but I do not. Some nights I get it all done and others I just sigh and see how things go in the morning.
Thank you so much for these words this morning. I had a situation yesterday and you have helped me so much. I wrote about you this morning. Blessings, Mama!
http://greenacresinthecity.blogspot.com/2012/03/yesterday.html
Thank you! I have been there. This is what I needed today! Thanks again for sharing your life.
Thanks, I needed this today! My hubby is gone for the week with work and we all ended up sick. The dirty dishes greeted me this morning, and homeschool will start late today but it’s all OK!
Oh, how I know about those days. My kids are 1, 3, 4, and 5. You will get through it, just keep praying for heavy doses of patience and grace. I’ll pray for you and you pray for a little more for me too. Us mammas gotta stick by each other.
Thanks so much for posting Lindsay, I’m sorry your days (and nights!) have been so difficult. I have had these days also and getting upset or angry just makes everyone else follow suit.
Well done on laughing and the extra measure of grace you were given to cope.
Thank you for sharing, it encouraged me because I was there wallowing in my own self-pity. I had some hard-heart stuff yesterday: feeling the distance of a friend, the betrayal of a mentor, and hearing about what some of the people I am investing in are saying about me when I’m not there. It’s still all a little hard–but Jesus reminded me that He’s been there, He knows each hurt that I’m feeling, and He dealt with them all by taking them to the Father. So, although my heart is still bruised, I am not going to wallow in tears of self-pity but instead as Peter said, “rejoice in sufferings…” and I am going to take it all to Jesus who whispers for my heart to “come”. Thank you for reminding me that self-pity needs to be discarded and I need to go to Jesus with my heart minus the self-pity.
God bless.
I love this post. Things in Motherland often aren’t as glamorous as we hope they will be
Today was my birthday and I spent the day with a migraine, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of my 2 little ones, as my hubby had to work all day. But even in that, I am thankful and blessed.
Lindsay,
I am continually blessed and encouraged by your honesty. “I pray for this freedom to let go of fear” …Amen! I pray that you would also feel greatly encouraged as the Lord uses you to encourage hundreds (or more) of readers
Thanks so much! Bless you!
thanks for sharing about the everyday stresses. Although I’m not in your position, I understand how it can be with little ones some days. Even for minor life discomforts I tend to forget to “laugh” and then I look back and wonder why I stressed so much for it!
Oh boy did I need to read this today!!! Had a HORRIBLE day with my 5 year old and 21 month old daughters. Both are strong willed and TOUGH!! My husband started a new job 2 months ago in a new city and we’re waiting on him to find a house. I’ve had SOOOO many days like you (and the commenters!!) have described. What relief to know I am not alone in my struggling!!!
We are currently reading through the Little House series in our homeschool and just today I cried when I read how very hard Ma worked when they were snowed in a blizzard and Pa was away. I think “I” have it hard? NO WAY!!! Ma Ingalls did! And if she did a good job, certainly I can, too!!
Thank you for your post AND thank you, too, to all those whose comments I just read and have been blessed by! Now… if only we could all meet in real life….
His,
Shari
Awesome post!
Thanks so much for this blog post. It was very timely for me. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old who both have croup right now and a 3 month old who is thankfully not sick, but still requires so much care as a newborn. There was almost no sleep for anyone at our house last night, and today I have been so tired and I admit just a little cranky. I am taking care of my little ones, but have been frustrated by the mess in the house and by a silly fight my older kids got into over what movie to watch. Reading this post helped me take a step back and see the blessings I have. My older kids are not sick, they helped me with the little ones as much as they could and they also helped getting dishes done and the laundry going. There is love in our home and we are blessed with all the things we need. I have a wonderful husband who works hard to support us. We are blessed by the Lord in all things and I am grateful.
Praise God! The joy of the Lord is all we need… Recently I’ve been reminded that every moment I have with my kiddos is a precious blessing. No mess, rush, or stress can change that, and I agree with you wholeheartedly that sometimes we have to just laugh and keep going. Thanks for the encouragement!
I had to smile as I read this post. I have SO been there!
But now those baby days are past and my youngest is almost 5. I can’t say that I miss the toddler/infant version of chaos, but I do cherish the memory of that point in time. Many have said it, but it is so very true that the times flies. The days may be long, but the years are short!
Oh how I needed this today! Thank you thank you thank you! And now I’m throwing in the towel and heading to bed in hopes of catching up on some of that missing sleep.
Thank you for your encouraging words today. I needed to be reminded of this, that there is no room for anger in my day. Even when there is poop squirting at me at inopertune times. I find that my child looks to me for my response to so many things, especially ones where he is not sure (like smacking his 4 month old head on a hard toy) and if I laugh, he laughs and that is a wonderful moment. He picks up on my moods so quickly and I don’t want to teach him anger, but how to enjoy life, even the crazy parts of it. Thank God for laughter and gummy baby smiles.
“We will surely look back in years to come and laugh…why not do it now?” is my motto too. =)
So thankful for grace in those days. I followed my husband across the planet to live on a tiny island and serve our military. As a pilot he’s gone most of the year to various Asian nations while I wrangle a two year old and a 5 month old solo with my family and friends a million miles away. Evenings are my testing time. Dinner/baths/reading/bedtime for each child/cleanup/Dog/etc.
I have come to appreciate those chaotic unplanned moments but it took me a very long time to see that it was God’s grace who kept me afloat for months at a time solo. It would be easy to have self pity, resentment, and all those toxic thoughts but God calls us to think of whatever is praiseworthy – pure, right, noble, lovely, admirable, excellent…
And just when we think we can’t handle it another minute, He reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! I am thankful for these days, no matter how difficult, because when I am old and all my children are grown and my house is silent, I will remember these days in a much different way. Happy, busy, near the ones I love the most. I am thankful in all things God gives especially the Littles! It is a season that teaches us total reliance on God alone. Not a nap (oh how I miss them), not peace and quiet, not “me time”. But Him alone to accomplish the things He’s given us to do. He is enough!
I can’t help but ask, are you stationed on Okinawa? I ask because I’m there too! Sorry if that’s too intrusive.
I thank God this is a forward deployment, so my husband doesn’t leave, but it really is a challenge in itself some days with him constantly in a mission and our little family being so very far from the rest of our family when these kind of days arise. Laughter truly can be the best medicine though!
Lindsay, God really speaks through you and it is so comforting and refreshing to know we’re not alone in this journey called motherhood. Thank you for this post!
What an encouraging post! I am a stay at home mom to two toddlers and I really needed to hear this today and to be reminded that I should never waste time being frustrated with my children and that I should enjoy them every moment! I know that there will be times when I get frustrated but it is getting back up again and striving to be full of joy the next time!
And, luckily, it seems right after they frustrate us, they give us a reason to smile or laugh! God must have built that in!
Thank you for sharing your heart! I am right there with you. Good for you for choosing to laugh at the chaotic evening you had!!
Thanks for this encouraging post. I have a newborn, almost 2 yr old, and a potty training 3 yr old. Seeing someone else go through a frustrating situation and laugh helps me to do the same
.
This hit home for me today, for sure. I’m a working mom but I’ve been flying solo to put children to bed many a night lately as my husband works a part time job that often keeps him away in the evenings. It’s so easy for me to feel frustrated and like a failure. And so difficult to remind myself that God does not see me that way.
I’ve been reading through the Little House books as bedtime stories for my girls. I read them as a kid but it’s so striking how much more respect I feel for Ma Ingalls now! Pa says they need to leave their home in two days and pack up everything and head West. Ma says “Whatever you think is best, Charles.” She not only gets everything ready, she keeps a baby and two small girls content and safe over months in a wagon? Through river crossings and wild animals? And everything she does she seems to tackle so gracefully. She is surely a hero!
…As are you.
Thank you for this post…yesterday was my first day “on my own” with our almost two year old boy and newborn baby girl as my husband had to get back to work full-time. Needless to say, our day didn’t start out well, and I was a wreck…our little boy is potty training (per his request), but his cloth diapers were leaking for some reason yesterday and I ended up cleaning up 3 puddles from barely wet diapers, the newborn kept projectile spitting up, I couldn’t get my carrier to work properly/feel right, our toddler was crabbier than ever (he usually is not crabby/angry). I was a mess…crying, feeling like I couldn’t do this with more than one as a stay-at-home-mom…Fortunately, my husband was more than encouraging and helped me out a lot when he was home. Today, day two, has been SOOO much better, but your post was very timely…because I know that not all my days will be like today…I will have many more days that look like yesterday, but it’s okay :0)
This post is so encouraging!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I received a great piece of advice the other day that I think goes along with this post. My great friend’s mother told us that when we have resentful and angry thoughts (for example toward our husbands when we’re having a hard “single mom” moment) to pray for someone else–not ourselves. She said that if we do this EVERY time we have an angry thought, eventually the thoughts will diminish as we focus on God and on others instead of ourselves.
I think if I would pray and laugh, laugh and pray my way through those hard times, it could drastically change the way I feel and act which would in turn drastically change my family!
It is amazing how much impact the “little” things really have! Praise God that He is in these “little” things with us!
This is a great idea to pray for someone else! I will be using this. Thank you!
I needed to read this today! Thank you so much for posting it. I’m in the midst of a difficult time myself and am so encouraged by your words.
You described my life. I have a 4 year old feisty daughter and an 8 month old, and my husband works away from home 7 days, home for 7 days. Quite often he works an extra set so is gone for 18 or 19 days in a row. We also live way out in the country and I have no family nearby. It’s exhausting, I get very lonely, and so many times I’m just on autopilot. It’s hard, very hard. But there have been many many times when I picture what the situation must look like to a fly on the wall…. Baby screaming and hungry, preschooler declaring she has to poop NOW and the poops will only come out if mama reads her a story, pot boiling over, I have to pee, boob hanging out….
And I often do smile at the hilarity of the situation. Good post.
I too have a spirited (read loud, energetic, in my face) 4 year old and a 7 month old. My husband works long hours (gets home around midnight). And, we live far from family. I can relate on the loneliness, and poops happening at inconvenient times! Praise God for His strength, and a sense of humor! Children are such precious gifts. I just need to keep proper perspective.
Thanks for sharing such wonderful praise!
Oh Lindsay! This post spoke to me so loudly!! Lately I have been getting down on myself about being frustrated and disappointed in myself. Did it help the situation? Nope. In some ways made it worse.
Thank you for being real and sharing your struggles. You help people in so many ways! God bless you!
Lindsay, thank you so much for this! the timing is perfect! I’m 8 months pregnant and my husband, our golden retriever, and i have been living in a TINY 20-foot airstream trailer for 5 months now, out in the middle of nowhere in the desert/mountains. i have struggled sooooo much with living far from community and civilization and with the chaos of living in such a small space with my protruding belly… constantly knocking something over, running into corners, and just the overall disorder and disorganization that we have to endure in such a small place with virtually no storage area (all of our dishes, books, dry food ect are just in a huge pile on the ‘couch’ here cuz we have nowhere else to put them). we were supposed to move into a small house 2 months ago but –as usual with construction– things aren’t going according to plan. yesterday and the day before were specifically difficult for me because i have to drive 2 hours into the nearest town for our groceries and supplies and do everything all at once (to save money on gas). i ended up going to 9 different stores and it seemed like something went wrong at every single place and they didn’t carry something important that i needed. i did fall into the self-pity trap and just broke down crying in the parking lot. i realize now, i should’ve just laughed.
i love reading what you wrote because it gave me a new perspective. i usually try to cope by just reflecting on how there are so many things i need to be grateful for right now. i do love and appreciate my amazing husband; i am overwhelmed with gratitude for this precious life within me. God has provided me with shelter and food when there are so many people who are homeless and hungry today. but that coping mechanism doesn’t always work and i’m starting to see, from this blessed post, that i need to not take myself or our situation soooo seriously. i feel this incredible pressure as a wife/homemaker to make a ‘perfect home’ and i’m already setting myself up for failure because it is just not possible ever to be ‘perfect’ but especially with the situation i have right now. so i wake up everyday already feeling defeated and i get increasingly more frustrated as the day goes on and each task just multiplies anger and frustration (like trying to make a simple meal but having no counter space).
thank you for challenging me to accept that this is just the way things are right now and i can either face each task with frustration or i can face it with a light-heart and laughter. either way, the situation isn’t going to change so i might as well make the most of it! huh? i really love how you started my day off with such an optimistic spirit. you and your posts and such a blessing to me! i look forward to giving you a hug in heaven and telling you over and over again “thank you!!!!”
What a wonderful reminder to laugh at the absurdity of our lives sometimes! I’ve only got one little one so far, and sometimes I just look around at the messes, the things undone, etc and want to scream. But, indeed, it is far better to smile and laugh.
Thanks for being so open and humble about your struggles. It is so helpful and encouraging to see someone else walking through this journey of motherhood in an honest, yet positive way.
Blessings!
Thanks for sharing your heart. As a 32 year old mama who never thought she would be done having babies at 27 (not my choice), I echo your encouragment. As a older mama I know says, when it’s done, it’s sooo done…and you will miss it, messes and all. I’m praying and trying (sort of) to be content in my new stage of life, but what I really want is a longer time being a mama of littles.
Absolutely! I have been frequently single parenting lately since my husband is in the military, and as soon as he leaves, my daughter stays awake for two to four hours at night and my son throws mega tantrums even though he is almost four! I have felt as you had frequently, and it is only because of God that we get through it. As you said, I just laugh (after the initial frustratiother the sky falling) and know that this too shall pass with Faith, love and intentional parenting. Great post!
Well said! And a great reminder….thank you for sharing this perspective!
Great reminder! I have a little one. A very little one- she was born at 25 weeks. She is now 10 months old and being a stay at home mom has been so stressful, emotional, and downright exhausting. She has been a very high need baby! Lot’s of “preemie problems” and a very stubborn personality. The other day I was complaining to someone about my daughter’s high strung and fiesty personality. She told me that God put that in her and that’s probably how she survived such a tramatic birth experience and 3 months in the NICU! Wow. I had to repent. I love my daughter and husband but I get upset by things that, in the long run, do not matter! I should be on my knees every day thanking the Lord for my blessings. My daughter is healthy despite all of the bad news we were given when she was born. My husband is loving, and has a good job. I get to stay at home. But my day is ruined if my daughter’s diaper overflows with poop
I need to learn to relax! Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you for this…especially today! When I awoke this morning, I faced the normal challenges of parenting three wee ones (four, two, and 6 months), the general upkeep of my home, a mountainous pile of laundry left over from a chaotic weekend, and the task of packing for a move that will take place in two weeks. Add to this some runny noses, asthma attacks, and nursing an infant and it can be enough for me to crawl back under the covers!
I have certainly said, several times, that I will look back on these times and laugh; but what a challenge to do so now! Your exhortation was much needed and appreciated – thank you for taking the time to share the things the Father is doing in your heart. It reminded me that whatever the day may bring, that it is the day the Lord has ordained for me…and I will REJOICE and BE GLAD in it! 