Digging Out of the Pit of Guilty Motherhood

I failed miserably in my mothering today. Everything from getting coats and shoes on, to going potty in underwear, to getting out of bed before the proper time. Each situation was responded to with an outburst of anger and frustration.

I experience guilt on many levels in my motherhood. I feel guilty when my house isn’t clean, organized, or I don’t have the energy to design all these glorious organizing tools (thanks Pinterest! ;) . I feel like a failure when I don’t spend enough quality time with my children or waste too much time on my phone or computer browsing this and that. I feel guilty when we don’t do family devotions as if my children’s salvation was all dependent upon me. I feel like a terrible homemaker when I don’t get anything done on my to-do list. So in response to my guilt, I get frustrated and the cycle continues. It’s a dangerous pit of self focus that destroys my joy.

The only means through which we can find deliverance out of this battlefield of guilt, condemnation, and anger is through the power of the gospel. The only lasting freedom can come through acknowledging what Christ has done on my behalf.

We have to steep ourselves in the power of the gospel. We have to soak it in.

I have to remind myself that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Yes, you and I will surely fail. But we have a glorious Savior who bore our condemnation. He bore our guilt. It was nailed to the cross. So in our failure, we can have hope. Christ Jesus has replaced our sinful record with His perfect righteous record.

As Elyse Fitzpatrick says, “When you are tempted to slide down into a miry pit of self-condemnation, you can remember Jesus’ sinless life and the perfect record that is now yours. Yes, it’s true that you sin heinously and consistently, but you have a perfect record before God, the only one who opinion really matters.”

“Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. (Romans 3:24)”

You have a perfect record.

Colossians 1:16-17 says,The Father…has qualified you [past tense; it's finished] to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us [past tense again; the deliverance is completed] from the domain of darkness and transferred us [past tense once more: the transferal is already concluded] to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have [present tense; this very moment we possess it] redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

My outbursts of anger were nailed to the cross before I even walked this earth. My fear of failure is a waste of my energy. He paid the greatest price for them. In order to experience true freedom from guilt, I must stop focusing on all that I need to do in order to become a better mother. I must first turn my gaze upon what He has already done for me.

The only way to become a better mom is to preach the gospel to myself every day. It’s not by behaving that makes me a better mom, it’s by believing- believing more deeply in what He has accomplished.

God doesn’t call me to be perfect. He calls me to embrace my standing before him, and to run in that freedom he has already granted to me! I am adored by Christ! I am redeemed! I am accepted!

Ultimately, when I enslave myself by guilt I am mocking what He did on the cross, I am disbelieving the grace and mercy purchased for me through his sinless life. This guilt is witness to the fact that I am depending upon my own strength. I am believing that my children will only grow, flourish, and follow Christ if I do this certain set of practices.

So when you are tempted to put another brick of guilt on yourself, may I encourage you to stop, and declare with me:

“Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak;
because Jesus won for me, I am free to lose;
because Jesus was someone, I am free to be no one;
because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary;
because Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail.” -Tullian Tchividjian

Praise God for the full and abundant life I have in Christ!

Jesus loves me just as much today as He did yesterday!

Many of these insights have been gleaned through Tullian’s powerful book, Jesus + Nothing = Everything.

{Photo Credit}

Originally published February 9, 2012. Original comments included below.

About Lindsay

Lindsay Edmonds is first a lover of Jesus, wife, mother of four, homemaker, and writer. She loves inspiring women around the world toward simple, natural, and intentional living for the glory of God.

96 Responses to Digging Out of the Pit of Guilty Motherhood

  1. Jamie January 21, 2013 at 6:21 am #

    You are so right about knowing who we are in Christ! Many of us mommies are highly educated women that came from very challenging, rewarding, and high paying careers. It is hard adjust from that in many ways. I find that many daily tasks are extremely mundane and not stimulating in the least. But, the Lord did not call me personally to be stimulated intellectually, at least not through child bearing and rearing. However, when I see it as working for the Lord and not for my sweet children, who really could care a less if the house is clean or a gourmet meal is prepared, I know that I am blessed through it.

    Also, many of us are from the post modern feminist generation that says we aren’t “real” women if we don’t have a career that we get paid for. I felt badly [guilty] about this, and I had wasted my education and experience. But, in the workforce I am easily replaced, and not missed. I will be the only mother to my children, though. I am a servant of the Lord first and foremost, and that is more important than any other role I play in my daily life.

    I’m sure the working mommies feel guilty too. So, there’s really no escape from the guilt trap, except to know who we are in Christ!

    What a refreshing, important reminder.

  2. Lolli S January 20, 2013 at 12:13 am #

    There are so many days I feel like I failed as a mom, but if you love your child and are trying your best, that is what matters. It is so hard to not feel guilty for not being 100% perfect, but no one is perfect.

  3. Sarah January 17, 2013 at 6:55 pm #

    Lindsay, this was such an encouragement to me. I struggle with guilt and anger almost daily. I have had to ask forgiveness from my children (ages 3, 2, and 1) many times. My husband is constantly reminding me that I cannot “ruin” our children, and that even in my sin, I am modeling the gospel through my repentance and confession to them and the Lord. Those things give hope to me; but reading this, knowing there are other women out there that struggle as I do is so encouraging. I’m not alone in my struggle! And I will be praying for you, sister in the Lord. If you think of it, please pray for me, too.


  4. Stephanie January 15, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

    Oh did I need to read this… It came to my inbox just when I needed it! I’ve been dealing with my human failings, and people pointing out those failings, but ya know what? God doesn’t care!

    Thank you for being the messenger for that important reminder to us all!!

  5. Jenn D January 15, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

    Lindsay, what a great post! Can totally identify with you on the feeling like a failure days; encouraging to know I’m not the only mom who struggles with all of this. Tullian Tchividjian’s quote was fantastic. I still carry around my notes from a sermon of his when he visited our church. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Marcia January 15, 2013 at 7:47 am #

    I am so grateful that I have found your blog (thanks Pinterest) and have had the ability to read this today…of all days! The “working Momma” guilt I felt last night was simply too much to bear. I will be looking to puchase your recommended book for my next Christian read!

  7. Catherine Edmonds January 15, 2013 at 7:03 am #

    Thank you for this wonderful reminder that it’s not my behavior but my belief in the Gospel that makes me a better mother. I struggle with that “mommy guilt” at night when I’m crawling into bed and all the times I lost my temper or spoke harshly or failed to serve my children cheerfully that day play across my mind. I’m going to add the book you recommended here to my 2013 reading list! So glad I came across your site!

  8. Lindsay January 15, 2013 at 3:15 am #

    simply beautiful… thank you ,sister.
    I am constantly challenged to put greater and greater faith in the Savior. perhaps thats why He allows us to fail so often.

    your website has been a blessing:)

  9. Angela January 14, 2013 at 6:41 pm #

    I didnt read this post until a few minutes ago this evening. I have been so sick with this stupid virus thats going around, and my hubby has been wonderful taking care of me and our toddler. But he had to go in to work for a few hours this evening and I decided to let my son curl up in bed with me and watch Max and Ruby–his fav. So one hour turned into two, and when I got him up to feed him dinner (btw he skipped his nap today and was very tired) he threw a fit and had a regular meltdown. And I discovered that I forgot to change his diaper and so there was our last set of clean sheets and his snuggle blanket, soaked. He wouldnt eat dinner and bawled his eyes out curled up in my lap and fell asleep. So I’ve been cleaning up the bed situation and feeling like a horrible Mom for all that.
    All that to say, thank you soooo much for this post, reminding me that I’m not perfect and will make mistakes. Jesus is my perfection!

  10. Sarah January 14, 2013 at 5:45 pm #

    Another spot-on post! Sometimes I think you must read my mind. Struggling daily with turning my heart towards my toddler boy. Thankful that we have the riches of Heaven and the power of the Spirit as resources!

    God bless you and your family!

  11. Catherine January 14, 2013 at 5:37 pm #

    Thank you for this encouraging word today. I so often am seeking to change myself when what I really need to do is realize that I am human, I will fail, I will make mistakes and I will be imperfect which is why I so desperately need to rely on my perfect Lord and Savior!

  12. Janelle December 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    Thank you for the encouragement!

  13. Bri August 6, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    This was a great application to reiterate the message on “prideful greatness vs. humble greatness” at church yesterday. One of the ways I see to glorify/validate/value myself before others is by the pride I feed through mothering/parenting, instead of realizing that motherhood is an opportunity to serve my family/God. When I “fail” at this I let it communicate failure into every aspect of my life. But I don’t have to anymore!!

    Thank you for your honest, transparent post :)

  14. rae August 1, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

    The reference seems to be incorrect here…
    Colossians 1:16-17 says, “The Father…has qualified you [past tense; it's finished] to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us [past tense again; the deliverance is completed] from the domain of darkness and transferred us [past tense once more: the tr ansferal is already concluded] to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have [present tense; this very moment we possess it] redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

    Do you have the correct chapter and verse? I can’t find it …

  15. rae August 1, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    The reference seems to be incorrect here…

    Colossians 1:16-17 says, “The Father…has qualified you [past tense; it's finished] to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us [past tense again; the deliverance is completed] from the domain of darkness and transferred us [past tense once more: the transferal is already concluded] to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have [present tense; this very moment we possess it] redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

    Do you have the correct chapter and verse? I can’t find it …

  16. Emily April 26, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    Found your blog today and I love it! Enjoyed this post. Thanks for reminding me of these important truths as I strive to be the best mommy I can be for my 2 boys! I feel I fail so often. But these Scriptures are so uplifting!

  17. Ruth April 5, 2012 at 6:46 am #

    Amazing how He directed me to your site as I was looking for Scripture to read during Holy Week, and I stubbled upon this entry, which I so sorely needed right now. Awesome! Thank you.

  18. Christene, WA April 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm #

    Thanks, Lindsey! This really ministered to me today:-) I just found your blog and it is such a blessing! Thank you for sharing your testimony – so wonderful to see how he is working in your life and using even the small details for His glory! Blessings you and your family!

  19. Melissa Rank March 28, 2012 at 11:04 pm #

    I needed this today. I’m a new mom so anxious to get everything right! Ugh. what a terrible trap! Thank you for sharing.

  20. Alia Joy February 17, 2012 at 3:54 pm #

    Much needed words for days like today…and everyday. Poignant and true words. I so appreciate your sharing your mommy guilt so that we can all remember that we don’t stand condemned and that we need to preach that gospel to ourselves constantly.

  21. Audra Marie February 17, 2012 at 9:12 am #

    Your post is so timely. It made me think of Matthew 6:33. If we seek Him first daily, all those other things will be added to you – including the things of motherhood. Thanks for a great post. :)

  22. Brittney Colyer February 15, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    Rockin awesome :) Thanks for sharing truth to encourage us Mommas!

  23. elizabeth February 14, 2012 at 11:40 am #

    I really needed this today! Thank you!

  24. Jocelyn February 13, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

    Keep doing what you’re doing, girl. This post was beautifully written and is such a clear articulation of the Gospel. Powerful words. Your words have me thinking about some ways that the Lord wants me to alter my thinking. You talked about guilt being so self-focused that we lose our joy (maybe not those exact words). But, that pinpointed for me a joy-robber that I hadn’t been aware of. The Lord is using you!

  25. Wendy February 13, 2012 at 8:42 pm #

    Thank you. Your post today was just what I needed. Had a very guilt filled day.

  26. Naomi February 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

    Thanks for your honesty. Often in those moments of anger and guilt I think of specific Christian mums I know and think “they wouldn’t do/say this.” But this of course just makes me feel worse. Thank you for the reminder of the deep truth that is at the centre of being Christian – I AM a sinner and I AM forgiven in Jesus. Your blog is a great ministry.

  27. kristin February 13, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    Sounds like I am not the only one who needed desperately to hear this today. Thank you so much for reminding me that I have nothing to fear, and everything to gain … just by accepting.

  28. Katie February 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    I have so appreciated your blog and learn so much from you each time I read. I have a few questions regarding older postings from you. I’m on your path to going green…and I cannot figure a few things out…
    Can you tell me the difference between sucanat, rapdura, turbindao, organic cane sugar and organic brown sugar? What is better for us and why do you use what you use? Can you replace all sugars in any recipe with honey?
    Also, the more I’ve looked into this- there is a debate on dairy and grain (whether or not we should eat, if it’s good for us or not, ect.) Any thoughts here?
    Lastly, Where do you go for your bulk shopping trip at the beginning of the month? For example, do you go to a Wal-mart for toilet paper/staples…or do you go to a big natural food store for all those things. And if so, is it reasonable priced? Do you have a “staple and toiletries” grocery list that you use despite the season?
    Even if you can’t answer all these questions in detail- I’d love any thoughts and your wisdom on the sweetners soon because I need to do some baking! :)

    Thanks for you heart!

    • Katie February 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm #

      Here is a link about Natural Sweetners: http://www.spain-in-iowa.com/2011/12/a-simple-introduction-to-natural-sweeteners-and-how-to-use-them/

    • Lindsay February 15, 2012 at 8:05 am #

      For sugars, we use sucanat, maple syrup and honey in our home. I use sucanat for my baking and use our honey raw in oatmeal and tea and such to protect the nutritional value. You can replace all sugars equally with sucanat/rapadura (As they are the same thing).
      As to dairy and grain, I believe in all things in moderation is key. I think our bodies could easily do without grains especially if they are not prepared properly…but that can also lead to an expensive diet. So you have to just pray and use discernment as to what would be best for your family.
      For bulk shopping, I buy most of these items through Amazon or Azure Standard. I only buy toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, soap, dish & hand soap, dishwashing & laundry detergent, so I keep these purchases really minimal. I don’t really use any other paper products (except for large hospitality events), so as to cut down on waste.

      • Melony June 9, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

        Hey Lindsay!

        I just wanted to comment on your grain comment. I agree that there are many, many bad carbohydrate foods out there for you. But I wanted to share the blessing of milling your own wholesome grains as well. Though the first initial investment can be spendy, it has proven it value over the years in saving money and in our health. I have a Nutrimill and a Bosch mixer. When I purchased those, I purchased 50 lb. bags of Spelt, Kamut, Whole Wheat, Rye berries, and Oat Groats. All organic and/or chemical free from my grain lady. I purchased many other things like dried cranberries, dates, dried apricots, cashews, almonds, walnuts, coconut, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, vital wheat gluten, dough enhancer, yeast, honey, organic agave, unsweetened banana chips, chocolate chips, cocoa powder, beef, chicken, and vegetable broth, and probably a couple of other things. You don’t need all of these food items, but we came in to some extra money and I went for it. We stocked up and we ate off of all this (costing about $1200.00) for over a year. And at that time, there were still some things left. Things I made:

        Home made granola with 7 grain I rolled with my roller/flaker that hooks to my Bosch. You can flake any grain to make into a hot cereal or put into soups or master mixes. My kids love my homemade granola and it’s a healthy snack.

        Master mixes for pancakes, waffles, biscuits and desserts.
        A Five loaf recipe for bread that is delicious.
        Sprouted grains for salads toppers- nutritious and delicious!
        I make dessert breads with the dried fruits.
        I make a lot of homemade soups with the broths.
        I make homemade cakes, cereals, breads, muffins, master mixes and other things with the healthy freshly milled grains. I just wanted to share. This has saved us money in the long run and teaches the value of health in making your own foods from scratch and they are delicious and rewarding. And most of the recipes are simple enough to have the kids help make them. They are filling, so you don’t eat as much, because they are complete whole grains with nothing taken out of the grains like they are in the store to accommodate shelf life. You can even make sprouted bread which is a complete protein. Lots of adventures in the kitchen when you stock on grains and mill them yourself and just bake, bake, bake. Most quick and easy. Just wanted to share. God bless!

        Oh, and this post hit home to my heart as well, concerning the guilt of motherhood. Guilt is a joy robber and I believe it keeps you from seeing the things you are doing right to keep you under “it’s” thumb. Certainly a snare strait from the devil himself. We are conquerors through Christ and “Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world”. I will try to get out of this “I’m inadequate” trap that I’m in. This was encouraging mostly for me also because I feel so alone. I tell myself “I wish I could be like that Christian mom, she’s so spiritual and loving” I feel so ashamed sometimes, that I don’t allow myself to open up. So thanks for the post, I really needed it. :)

  29. Lacey Wilcox February 13, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

    I keep coming back to these words. You have no idea how badly I needed them! Thank you again for writing them, and for being so willing to share the way the Lord is working in your heart and your life. I consider it a gift…one of my 1,000 :)

    • Lindsay February 15, 2012 at 8:06 am #

      Praise the Lord, Lacey!

  30. Ana February 13, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    Hi Lindsay,
    How encouraging!
    I needed to read those words sooo badly!
    God bless you,

  31. carrie February 13, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    Thankyou so much for this post. I think we all need to know that we are not the only ones who feel this way at times…..as women we are so hard on our selves but, Jesus’ is the only opinion that counts ( like you said). I shared this post at a baby shower this weekend with a devo that i did and it was very encouraging to a lot of women. thank you again and God bless your sweet family!!

  32. Mrs. Graham Gardens February 13, 2012 at 9:35 am #

    Beautiful, encouraging post, Lindsay. Thank you.

  33. Anne February 13, 2012 at 6:25 am #

    For some reason your updates go to my spam folder, so I just read this, this morning. The very morning I needed to hear it. Oh thank you for sharing. I woke up feeling very discouraged this morning, with a long lists of failures right before me. Thank you so much for the encouragement. In Christ-

  34. Valerie February 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly! Your words are encouragement to everyone (including me!) who has felt the guilt of falling short. We really do stand perfect before God through Jesus Christ! Praise God!

  35. Lindsey February 11, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

    Thank you so much for this post! I am a single mother and guilt is something I struggle with so often with raising my son. This was very inspirational for me and I am sure to come back to this post often!

  36. Kimm February 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

    Love it! Thanks!

  37. Susan February 11, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    This reminds me so much of a talk that was part of our church conference a few months ago. The link is below. Just a reminder that God loves us all, and loves our efforts, even though they fall short of perfection. Thank you!


  38. Amanda February 11, 2012 at 7:06 am #

    Amen!! Thanks for sharing:)

  39. bobcat February 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm #

    Good post. One of the best things anyone has ever said to me is, “You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.” It was a wake-up call for me, because hearing it sounds so silly and impossible. What makes me think *I* could carry *the world*???? Best to leave that to the Lord!

  40. Kate February 10, 2012 at 3:45 pm #

    Thank you so much for sharing this today. This is something I struggle with so much, and it was such a blessing to be reminded that we have freedom and release from guilt because of Christ’s sacrifice. May God bless you and your family.

  41. Courtney February 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    You can’t even imagine how much I needed to hear this today! I have been struggling so badly with these same feelings lately. Just recently I was blown away when God showed me that I really have not fully accepted His forgiveness and grace…I accepted it when I accepted Him as my Savior as a child; I have accepted it for salvation, but I have not been living in it. When I heap on the guilt and hide in the shame, I am not living in His forgiveness and grace. Thank you so much for putting into words what He has been revealing to me!! The joy is snuffed out when I am hiding in shame and guilt, and that is not glorifying to Him at all!!

  42. Cora February 10, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Thank you for sharing the insights that the Holy Spirit placed on your heart. Since the birth of my son 9 months ago I have been shocked by how intense “mom guilt” can be compared to any other guilt I have felt in my life. There are many things that you shared that I will take with me into my days ahead to break free from the selfishness and give my self to Him who longs for me.

  43. rachel g February 10, 2012 at 11:26 am #

    Great post, L! I love moments like this when it dawns on you (or me, or any blogger) to BLOG the truth of our lives and to minister to other women through those truths. You are SOOO right. Moms feel guilty ALL the time, but we don’t have to! Jesus has got us covered!

  44. Jenni / Life from the Roof February 10, 2012 at 11:24 am #

    Beautiful post – I think sometimes it’s too easy to just say, “Jesus died for my sins,” and not really dwell on the truth that in this present moment, when we feel like utter failures, he looks at us and sees nothing but perfection.

    I love the sayings by Tullian as well – “Because He was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary . . .” Sometimes I feel like there’s such a pressure to be special/extraordinary, and it can feel so exhausting! I worked overseas for five years for a very extraordinary couple, but what I always remind myself is that one of them (the husband) came from a very “ordinary” home with a mother who did nothing more than strive to love her children and raise them well. We don’t have to be superheroes.

  45. Kelly W. February 10, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Wow…thank you for this. How refreshing to read through these scriptures and fall into the arms of our heavenly Father. Our guilt is put on us by ourselves! And it is an inward-focus issue.
    Honestly, I stumbled on your blog about a year ago and loved it. Yet, I found myself avoiding it. I kept thinking, “How do these women manage to keep their house, cook healthy meals, make their own everything, homeschool, take care of little ones, provide hospitality, decorate, do fun projects, and then still have time to blog about it?!?!” Each time I would read a post about some fun project, I would immediately start to feel depressed. “Why can’t I do all that?”
    In the last few months, the Lord has really been working in my heart and drawing me to Him in a deeper way than I’ve ever been since becoming a mother. It has changed me fully and been such a blessing. I don’t need to look at what anyone else does and feel guilty. I only need to look to the Father and ask Him what I should be doing! And, you know what? I’m getting a lot more done as a result! Even some of those “fun” things :)
    Thank you for your honesty, Lindsay. Bless you!

  46. Rachael February 10, 2012 at 8:14 am #

    Thank you. Today was “one of those days.” And this post was so encouraging and right on time. It’s so good to know that we are not alone in this mommy-hood endeavor. I think another one of the biggest reasons we (at least I) start to feel so guilty, too, is when we isolate ourselves and start to compare ourselves with false notions that we are the only one having these problems and with these short-comings, and that other mommies “have it all together.” So, again, I really appreciate you sharing the reality. Praise God for the abundant life we have in Him, and that His mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING!

  47. Bethanie February 10, 2012 at 7:55 am #

    How amazing that we serve a God who works through our weakness and wants us to be weak so that His strength can shine. This is something I struggle with as well and go to bed thinking I was the worst mother and am ruining our children. But God provides grace for every moment and every situation. May my children see my weakness and know that I need Christ just as much as they do!

  48. Jennifer February 10, 2012 at 7:16 am #

    I needed this, this morning. wow…, why do we always feel so guilty as mothers?
    thanks for the reminder. i can not do anything alone and i am free of guilt. Jesus paid the price for me. Isn’t He awesome!

  49. Amy February 10, 2012 at 6:30 am #

    This is a very applicable subject that most people don’t want to talk about. I think we mothers ARE too hard on ourselves sometimes which makes us frustrated because we can’t meet our own expectations. Over the years I’ve implemented a priority list of rooms that are clean. Starting with the living room (where the front door opens to the world). Dont fold your laundry here or let the kids leave their toys here. Then the kitchen and bathroom. So even during those trying times of sickness, or sleepless nights we can still have some dignity if someone should stop by and some peace during dinner (our livingroom os open to our dining room ) without having it all done! It’s really ok!! Our children won’t remember how messy our homes are but the atmosphere in it.
    Thank u for this post!!

  50. Adrienne @ Whole New Mom February 10, 2012 at 5:13 am #

    Amen and Amen. Failing here minute by minute and needing His grace all the time.

    I assume that there are moms who don’t deal with this so much, but I am not one of them. Thanks for sharing.

  51. Lovin' Life February 10, 2012 at 4:33 am #

    Your posts have been such an encouragement to me lately. It is so refreshing to see that other mothers have the same struggles and the same challenges. Thank you for sharing!

  52. Juliet February 10, 2012 at 3:37 am #

    Yesterday I committed myself to Jesus, our Lord and Saviour. Many things led me to that point. Your witness was one of them. Thank you.

    • Bethanie February 10, 2012 at 7:53 am #

      WOW! Praise God! This is awesome! I’m so glad you shared this! This is such an encouragement to me and other believers when another saint is added! I will pray for you today that your faith grows and your relationship with Christ deeps daily! God bless you!

    • Lindsay February 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

      Praise the Lord! Welcome to the family Juliet! I am so blessed to hear that you have chosen to follow Jesus. It is such a blessing to hear.

  53. Kelly February 9, 2012 at 10:18 pm #

    Mommy guilt is tough, but universal. I blow it repeatedly, but I know that both God and my family forgive me. I’ve been writing a series on my blog called the “Motherhood Manual” and in it I talk very honestly about my failures and try to find the funny in them. This next post on Monday, though, will talk about why I still believe I’m a good mom in spite of myself. If you’re interested, the link is http://twyste.com/category/life/the-motherhood-manual/

  54. Jen February 9, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

    Yes!!!! I actaully started a blog about this. I am finally worn out after 7 years of mothering and trying so hard. I am tired of feeling guilty all the time because I am not the “perfect” Christian wife and mother. Jesus has majorly set me free in this area all it all comes back to the gospel. I am perfectly accecpted through Jesus! I am so much happier now and able to love my children better!

    I really want to read that book!

  55. Karen Gillmore February 9, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    It took me a long time to realize that I do not have to do it all, all the time. It is just not possible. Jesus knows that there are days when the best I can do is get out of bed and breathe in and out. Other days I make progess toward my goals. He doesn’t just make up the short-fall at the end of my life, He makes up for my short-fall every minute, everyday. He has a stake in our success and He wants us to succeed. This knowlege helps to move forward everyday.

  56. Blessed Mama February 9, 2012 at 6:51 pm #

    Wow, this was good and real! Thanks for your transparency. I think we, as mothers, are prone to guilt. Satan knows this and will add temptation to our sinful nature. A verse in additional to the ones you have here that gives encouragement to me is 2 Corinthians 7:10 “For godly grief produces repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death.” Thanks again for sharing!

  57. Mary February 9, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

    AMEN!!!! Thank You for the encouragment! We do get so wrapped up in ourselves & forget that everything we are & have is because of him.

  58. Geneva February 9, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Thank you Jesus!

  59. Rebecca February 9, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

    Thanks for this! Like so many of the others who have commented I too often feel like I’m failing, failing, failing. Never doing what I should, when I should, or the way I should…Thanks for this reminder that Jesus took it all! If I can only remember it each day and hour…

  60. mamac February 9, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

    Honestly, I think every mother at some point in motherhood deals with these feelings. My hubby is a wonderful man, and he often needs to remind me that “right now, in THIS moment, the mountain of must do’s seems insurmountable, but turn around and look behind you and see EVERYTHING that you HAVE done, yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, then turn around with that vision and find a way to climb that mountain somehow someway, and get to the other side, the sun is shining over there”. Stop, Breathe, Take a moment alone, and Pull yourself together:). ((hugs))

  61. Lisa February 9, 2012 at 5:12 pm #

    I always catch myself thinking I must do certain things for my children to want to be a Christ follower but it doesnt!! My parents aren’t Christians, but I am. It is still good to do all these things with our children but the condemnation can get out of here!! It plagues me all the time. It is also so nice to know I’m not the only one who always feels like a failure.

  62. ADunagan February 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    Precious Lindsay,

    This is so beautiful!!!!
    Thank you for sharing your heart and the redemptive LOVE of Jesus.

    He is SOOOO good, even when we’re not.

    Bless you today.

  63. Rachel M February 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    I have just started reading your blog over the last few weeks. Thank you so much for today’s post. This week has been a pretty rough one for me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I have been feeling like there are giant printed ‘FAIL’ signs over every area of my life and I very much needed to be reminded that Jesus covers all the FAILs. I wrote down the quote at the end to read to myself before I go to bed and when I wake up. Thank you again.

  64. Jenny February 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

    Amen and amen! I felt like raising my hands in the air as I read this post.

  65. Apryl February 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    Thank you for this brave post. It is so hard to admit we can’t do it all, and do it perfectly, and so easy to feel guilty and inadequate. I really, really needed to hear this message today (and every day). I had tears welling up as I read. Thank you for the reminder that all we need is Christ.

  66. Kelly February 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    “My outbursts of anger were nailed to the cross before I even walked this earth.” I had tears as I read this and my heart absorbed every word. I literally felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. Thank you.

  67. Lacey Wilcox February 9, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

    Rejoicing with you at the sheer, perfect beauty of the Gospel, and so thankful for your reminder to preach it to ourselves–not just daily but moment by moment.
    My husband is always so quick to remind me that living in guilt is actually a complete disregard for the Cross. While we are called to recognize our sin and grieve over it, we are also called to rejoice in it.

  68. Jen February 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    wonderfully said and a good reminder for me today too ;-)

  69. Amanda February 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    Yes, thank you. As a stomach virus runs its course through my family, I’m clinging to Jesus. What an important reminder to never stop clinging to Him. I also feel so much guilt in my mothering, such a temptation to compare myself to other moms. I love the quote you posted at the end – what freedom we have! Amazing.

  70. Jessica February 9, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    THANK YOU! Needed to be reminded to preach the gospel to myself today!

  71. Danielle February 9, 2012 at 11:19 am #


    Thank you so much for sharing these truths. I’ve struggled with guilt post my daughter’s birth more than I remember struggling with this before. Yet God has revealed these truths and His abundant grace in deeper ways than I have known before. How quickly I forget and how quickly He reminds.

    Thanks for preaching the gospel :)

  72. Melissa February 9, 2012 at 10:40 am #

    “It’s not by behaving that makes me a better mom, it’s by believing- believing more deeply in what He has accomplished.” Yes!!!!!! Thank you for reminding me of that- I appreciate your words today so much.

  73. Karla February 9, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    This is me to a T, and it helps to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

  74. Sara February 9, 2012 at 9:40 am #

    Thank you! I needed this today!

  75. Lanai February 9, 2012 at 9:07 am #

    Always an encouragement to read your blog! Ive found myself setting up camp in this “pit of guilt” time & time again. Thank you for directing me to the word and shedding light on the truth of the gospel! God be glorified!

  76. becca g February 9, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    Praise the Lord for your faithfulness and your ministry to mothers. Thank you Lindsay for sharing these encouraging words.

    • becca g January 28, 2013 at 11:03 am #

      I just read this post again, with fresh eyes and a life that has bathed in Jesus’ righteousness. The past year I’ve sown these seeds of truth in my heart and have set my mind on things above. I read this post with new understanding and with new confidence in Jesus, and your words rang truer than they did a year ago. (Truthfully, I didn’t even realize that I had already read it before). I am not defined by my sin. My sin was nailed to the Cross and I am able to live in freedom! Thanks Lindsay.

  77. LaShanna February 9, 2012 at 8:32 am #

    My goodness Lindsay!! I needed to hear this today! So many times I go through this very same thing. Thanks for reminding us to preach the gospel to ourselves, daily. No, we are not perfect…but we serve a perfect God.

  78. Mali Korsten (The Korsten Chronicle) February 9, 2012 at 8:04 am #

    As soon as I started reading this, Romans 8:1 came to mind. I was going to post it here, but then I scrolled down and there it was in your post :) Definitely one of the hardest truths to keep sight of – thanks for reminding us of it.

  79. Heidi February 9, 2012 at 8:01 am #

    Yes, thank God our children’s salvation does not depend on us! Thank you for this encouragement!

  80. simplychelel February 9, 2012 at 7:37 am #

    Even with older teenage children I fall into the same areas of condemnation and struggle to make my way out. I needed to read this today; to be reminded of His grace and provision. Thank you.

  81. Rachel B February 9, 2012 at 7:32 am #

    Excellent! SO true, and something I have to remind myself of daily. Praise God for His perfect sacrifice!

  82. Renee February 9, 2012 at 7:18 am #

    What a beautiful post, I really enjoyed reading this right now. Thank you for being a encouragement for me today


  83. nicole February 9, 2012 at 7:13 am #

    Please, don’t be so hard on yourself!
    be kind to yourself.

    • Shannon February 10, 2012 at 7:19 am #

      I agree with Nicole!

  84. Corrine February 9, 2012 at 7:12 am #

    Wow…”someone” knew exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. Thanks for your encouragement and honesty Lindsay…it is always appreciated, but never more than today. :)

  85. Carrie February 9, 2012 at 7:09 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing this! It is precisely what I needed to hear. I’ve also realized recently that I tend to give into the feelings of guilt more frequently when I only focus on the negative…the things that don’t go right. And, of course, every day has those moments!! But when I’m thankful to God for His blessings…when I take joy in the little things…when my heart and mind are focused on Him there is no room left for guilt.

  86. Rachel O'Neill February 9, 2012 at 7:09 am #

    A powerful reminder, I think we’ve all been here. We want to be perfect for our children, yet they have a perfect Heavenly Father, and that is much better! Thanks be to God for His indescribable grace in Christ.