Written by contributing writer, Daniele Evans from Domestic Serenity.
Alright, I know what you’re thinking. Maybe you’re even laughing. Listen to the…quiet?
And you’re wondering just where this post is going. We could probably agree that a daily spa moment of sorts is helpful to our well-being. But just how to make this happen may seem a mystery.
So, hear me out and offer your thoughts as well?
I know Mama. I know. A household full of little ones, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, ministry, training, teaching, being a wife, a friend, a sister — where in the world does a daily pause fit in!?
May I suggest today that it naturally doesn’t? At least not all on its own. This time will not just happen…it must be created.
The WHY
First, we must embrace the necessity of pause, of rest. Rest is not man’s idea, it’s God’s. Man takes it farther than ever intended and makes it laziness, but true rest was designed and demonstrated by a loving God from the beginning. He knew just what people, Moms like you and me would need.
Rest honors God’s way and design; we give glory to Him when we follow His command to rest.
***
The WHAT
True rest includes pausing to reflect upon our work. For we were also created for purpose-driven Christ-honoring work, yet not without pause. Stepping back before moving on is simply wise. It’s not waiting until we’re completely exhausted and burnt out, then finally collapsing. God’s example in Creation offers a daily rhythm of reflection to think upon and consider our work — to name what is good.
We Moms have trouble with this, at least I do. I lean more towards thinking on all that still needs doing instead of celebrating what has been accomplished. But still, we should think on what is lovely, excellent and praise-worthy :: yes, this includes our work!
Because the nature is reflection, a midday or late afternoon break is what I’m suggesting. A short time of 15 to 30 minutes to separate morning work from evening work, to refuel a little before going on.
Now, no need to cancel vacation plans, a visit with a friend, or digging into a good book. Rest can and should also include leisure; engaging in pleasurable activities or interests provides refreshment as well. Jesus often took his disciples away and on one occasion fixed breakfast on the beach for them — sounds nice and leisurely to me!
The HOW
What if you did just that? Created a space and time for moments of daily pause, of quiet? With the purpose of reflection upon your work, and for a bit of leisure as well. But, let’s be very real. Many of us are in a season of fullness, of numerous responsibilities. Just how do we accomplish such a task?
I’m sounding like a broken record, but the first step is believing that you should. Then quickly following up with believing that there is a way, that it is possible. Before we get to the nitty gritty and some suggestions (that’s an upcoming post!), may I encourage your heart? Too often, we jump on a band-wagon thinking…
“Yeah, this is just what I need!! Tomorrow, right now, I’ll start this daily pause thing! WHOOP!, Whoop, whoop….fizzle, fizzle. Oh, well. I guess that just didn’t work for me.”
End of story. That’s living intensely, not intentionally.
Maybe you’re ready to start now, by all means…move forward! But, maybe you just need to take a baby step, to consider just how this all might work. To prepare and plan for making room.
Begin with prayer. Asking God to convince your heart of this need. Stretching your faith muscles to believe it can happen.
Take an inventory of your days. Nothing fancy, just be more aware of how things flow, thinking about when and where a pause would most benefit your schedule and routine.
In the comments, feel free to offer thoughts :: do you see a need for this in your days? what would you view being a hindrance to taking time for a daily pause — where could you use suggestions or help?
We’ll seek to answer or address questions in the next post. I absolutely do not have all of the answers! But, I’m convinced we can learn and grow together in this community.
To God be all glory….
Yes, I absolutely have to have this quiet time! Walks alone down our driveway or a drive alone into town help me tremendously to hear my own thoughts, talk to God, and feel rejuvenated enough to go back into the trenches ;o)
So timely! I have 3 kiddos- a 5 year old and 1 year old twins and find that the late afternoons are crazy- everyone needs something while dinner needs to be taken care of, house needs to be picked up etc. I was just thinking about what I could do to make this part of the day run smoother and then I find this post. I think I am definitely going to work on a mommy time-out. Thanks for the great blog.
I just had the opportunity to read this and wanted to thank you for posting it. Lovely thought and I really needed it today. I’m glad I kept it in my inbox
I would love some follow-up posts on this topic to keep it in our minds and hearts. I think the accountability we can provide one another via blogs for something like this is so wonderful.
I am putting this on my daily schedule starting today.
This is so encouraging. My first baby is three months old today and I have sensed deep in my spirit that without such a break, I will not be serving him, my husband and my home. Since I have only one I know it’s easier for me, but I am convinced that I must make a daily pause for myself as much a priority as changing his diaper!
Thank you Daniele
It is so vital. Thank you, thank you for sharing! One of my favorite verses as a mama is Ecclesiastes 4:6- Better a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and striving after the wind.
Thank you, Elise! I needed to hear that verse and am going to write that one on a notecard to memorize!!
Great post! I wrote on my blog today about finding the ME in MOMMY (http://asimplyfrugalhome.blogspot.com/2012/01/finding-me-in-mommy.html)… as a homeschooling mom i know the hardships of always being in demand and trying to find yourself amidst the chaos. It’s very important for us all to keep the balance for ourselves and our families. thank you for sharing!
Wise, wise words, my friend. It took me several years to actually implement this into my daily life because like the first commenter I fell *guilty*. Now I realize that really this stopping, sitting for a few, reflecting, is the very thing that is going to keep me in it and refreshed for the long haul, so it it shouldn’t be guilt-producing at all!!
I cherish my time with my cuppa in the early afternoon to sit and ponder, and although it doesn’t last long, the effects do.
Thank you for sharing this today!!
Ummm…maybe I’m the only one who struggles with this, but I actually feel guilty somewhat for taking a break. I don’t think that feeling is right (and your post does a great job of proving why it’s not), but there is something within me that really fights this. I KNOW that it’s a good thing, but when it comes to putting it into practice I immediately think: I have so much to do, and Baby Girl is finally down. I need to work like crazy to get things done.
I’m excited for you to write about how to make this work, especially with more than one sweet baby. I’m due in April with our second, and part of me wonders what life is going to be like with two…
Lacey, it may help to think of it as your duty to take care of yourself. One must keep their vehicle maintained in order for it to reliably fulfill its duties – you are doing the same thing for yourself when you take a pause to reflect and recharge. You are performing required daily maintenance on yourself, so that you can be there for your babies!
I find I feel better if I spend a few moments at the end of the day reflecting and meditating. I try to practice Reiki on myself which allows me to calm down and shut my mind down. I have 3 boys, one of whom has autism. I need the break! Thanks for a lovely article.
I am semi retired doing day care with a two year old and in the morning I love to grab my coffee and sit in the quiet of the living room with little light on and just listen to the ‘quiet’ as you say.
It is peaceful.
When she naps I go into the den and do my writing. It is a discipline started at least a year ago, when she naps it is my time for working on the computer and being quiet too. Then a cup of hot tea and your soul is restored ready to begin the rest of the day.
I’m not a mom, but after a day of working with kids with special needs, I need rest too! This year I have two new habits I want to create. Some time for Bible study first thing in the morning, and a time of rest in the afternoon when I first get home from work. My time of rest is to take a photo (I find this helps me to actively look for beauty) and find 5 things to be thankful for. to keep myself accountable I spend 5 minutes putting them up on a blog
http://365photos1000gifts.blogspot.com/
I definitely agree that we all need to take a little time out of our day for a pause. I have two little ones (3 and 1) and let me tell you when nap time doesn’t happen it is a tough day. My three year old is off and on with his naps but he will go in his room and lay down so I’m able to workout, study, or just relax for a few minutes.
I know someone who has two children (7 & 10) who go to their room for an hour each day for their own relax time. They don’t have to nap but they have to stay in their room and read or what not. I love that idea.
I love this, and do try to do this, but I think I will try to make this more of a reflective time rather than just a power-nap. I will be praying about it, thanks.
My two wee boys (almost 4 and almost 2) don’t nap — we do have a “quiet time” in the afternoon, but it is still interrupted for snacks, drinks, pee breaks, settling disputes, etc., etc., etc., I have accepted that, in this season of life, “quiet” is a relative concept. Am I setting the bar to low? Could I really expect to have half an hour-ish completely uninterrupted while the boys are awake?
This post was a good reminder to use that quiet time purposefully and consciously.
it took becoming a mother to teach me that silence is the most beautiful sound. Breaks for God and breaks for me are some of the most important times in my day…. all the rest is just crazy
Thanks! I plan a midafternoon nap after being awake with an infant through the night. But a few minutes to reflect on the day is also a great idea! Maybe with some moments of thankfulness/1000 Gifts journaling. Doesn’t have to take much time! Some of the most discouraging/difficult moments of the day tend to be after naptime when I’m trying to get dinner ready with a needy toddler, too. How great to take a pause for a better perpective before starting in on that!
you know, i used to get more of a pause when all my kids were napping at the same time, but now that only happens like once or twice a week (i am lucky if my 7 year old is tired enough to nap a bit). i do think that it is awesome to get a midday pause with the Lord, but at least i try to start each day with a little time in the Word, whether my kids are already up or not. it really does make a difference.
my recent post: even them? you have got to be kidding me.
I only have a 1 year old right now, but we do foster care as well. Here are some things that I have found help. Either go to the park, where kids can play while you watch from a short distance away.
Insist that the kids have a 20-30 minute quiet time. Even if they refuse to nap, they should spend a short time in their room on quietly reading or playing. This worked great for me, especially on those days when my nerves were just about on their last thread!
I have tried a couple things that work. At 10:00, I put our one-year-old in his pack ‘n play. Our four-year-old goes to her room, so mom can have a 20-minute break.
And rest time is a requirement in our house. For my sake. Finally, I’ve asked my hubby to give me two blocks of time off each week. Tuesday night after 6:30. And Saturday between 1 and 5. If my DH is going to be out of town during my time off, I make sure to hire a sitter for the break.
Thank you for this encouragement, Daniele.
I have been thinking this way for awhile, but not sure how to accomplish it. On the other hand, I have not really taken it the Lord in prayer. I will do work on it this week and see what I can really work in to my schedule.
Thanks for the wonderful post and reminder!
True words that go straight to my heart… And I think, if I can carve out time each day to peruse Facebook and blogs, why not time for myself. Why not?
Thanks for getting my thoughts rolling in this direction!