This post is brought to you by Passionate Homemaking’s monthly contributor, Vina.
Chris Denbow
The most popular topics for moms these days seem to be about growing in the practice of motherhood. Few of us enter this holy profession with intentional preparation like we do the careers we choose. Often we stumble our way into it and learn as best as we can how to nurture our little ones physically, emotionally and spiritually as we go. We learn about creating routines, nourishing meals, family mission statements, and so much more. But as much as motherhood is an opportunity to grow the many skills and attitudes necessary to nurture a family and a home, I believe it also a timely gift to grow ourselves through it.
The Gift of Simplicity
- “Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.” – Richard Holloway
Because mothers wear many hats both inside and outside the home, we quickly learn that we must simplify our lives so we can thrive. For those of us who stay at home, it is imperative that we figure out the essential purpose of our day to day tasks and the meaning behind our everyday mundane, repetitive chores so we can focus on the relationships that truly matter most. We grow in simplicity as a matter of necessity, and not by choice. Or else we drown. Motherhood then becomes a gift to help us learn what we are all about, live simply as we can and we let go of the fluff that often distracts us.
Has this been true of you? What are the ways you’ve seen motherhood change you towards a more simple life? How has it spurred you to seek simplicity in your personal life?
The Gift of Authenticity
- “We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” – May Sarton
There has never been a ruder awakening in my life about my desperate shortcomings other than motherhood. The huge responsibility of nurturing another life gets me thinking of all the ways I don’t measure up to whatever ideal it is I picture in my head. It’s like a magnifying glass over the things I’m incompetent in: cooking, keeping house, self-care, and more. But it is precisely because of this that motherhood offers us a way to grow into the person we truly are. We learn to be painfully honest of our weaknesses while we gratefully embrace our strengths. We daily stand on grace and nothing else if only to keep going in this rigorous task we have been given. The gift of authenticity. No more pretending to be more than who we are.
Have you seen motherhood change you towards a more authentic life? What is your experience like?
The Gift of Creativity
- “Creativity is contagious. Pass it on.” – Albert Einstein
Motherhood is about creating. We’re given a powerful opportunity to participate in creating life, beginning in our wombs, and beyond. As a new mom, I’ve had to learn how to create in the kitchen even when it’s the last thing I would choose to do. I’ve learned to create with my hands things I would otherwise never ever think about if I wasn’t a mom: cloth diapers, dresses, dolls, and more. If I let it, motherhood can draw me back into the creative world of our children who see everything with such delight and wonder. The songs, the dances, the long walks, the colors, the ideas, the interconnectedness of everything they see and experience. Truly, our children are the best teachers for those of us who have fallen out of touch with our inner creative child. A gift of creativity from the inside out is priceless.
Does this resonate with you? Do you feel like motherhood has given you a new opportunity to relive the creative side you may have long forgotten?
Generosity
- “The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Ghandi
Prior to becoming a mom, I’ve always been drawn to children. I taught 2nd graders at one point when I lived in China after college. But motherhood has multiplied that heart for the little ones ten times and more. When I look at my darling girl, I think of the many other little girls in this world and I want for them what I want for my daughter. I am filled with anger when I hear about little girls being sold into prostitution. My heart breaks for refugee children and orphans who have no place to call homes. Motherhood is continually making spaces for my heart that I thought were already filled. A gift of unexpected generosity, especially when motherhood is already about giving ourselves away to the small people in our lives on a daily basis. And yet, there is more of ourselves to give.
Have you felt motherhood draw you to a more generous life, when you didn’t think you had more to give? In what ways has it stretched you?
We’ve truly been given an incredibly gift as mothers. Everyday we have opportunities to grow in simplicity, authenticity, creativity and generosity. And whether or not we say yes to these opportunities may have more weight than say, learning to cook the best pot roast ever. Because these are the very gifts our children will take with them now, and long after they leave home.
Vina, your words and thoughts are well-articulated and poignant. I am touched deeply when another mother expresses what I, too, have experienced in motherhood. I have discovered over and over (being a mom of 3 small children) — the more I grow in my role as a mother, the more I discover my need to grow!! It is challenging, beautiful, discouraging, and exhilarating all at the same time!
I really appreciate your perspective on this…it builds a more complete picture in my mind of what I am called to be as a mother. Thank you for sharing.
After being a working mom for many years, I am now a stay-at-home mom of three small children. Although I know it is what God has called me to do and I wouldn't even think of doing anything else…it IS hard to go through the motions over and over every day! Sometimes it seems TOO simple, to live a simple life, but it is definitely what God is teaching me to do.
Dear Emily,
I reread my post and I can totally see where you are coming from. I didn't mean to exclude working mothers at all and I'm sorry that my focus on stay-at-home moms hurt you. That was certainly not my intention. It was simply that I am limited by my experience and cant' speak for working mothers. I am so glad you honestly brought this up, and I will from now on be more mindful especially for working mothers. I totally agree with you, all mothers, regardless of whether they stay at home or not, we are all on the same page when it comes to what we want for our children. Again, thank you for sharing. We're all on this together!
I'm feeling the luv…:)
I love your article and it touched on many things that I am struggling with as a new mommy to a beautiful 8 month old daughter. However, I was somewhat hurt that you seem to direct your thoughts to stay at home moms, as if those of us who must work do not face these same issues and enjoy these same gifts. Working moms are pursuing the same goals as stay at home moms: to raise our children to be the people God wants them to be and to remember to enjoy each moment. Please don't forget that we're right there with you on this crazy and wonderful ride of motherhood!
Agreed!
You got a good man there, Emily.
As I don't have a Twitter account, I'll use your point about the Gift of Creativity to 1. totally agree and 2. share an idea for Lindsay, for Karis' upcoming birthday. Dress up clothes can, of course, sewn by loving hands with a lot of patience, be found at the Salvation army or other 2nd hand store, and your play silks have added dimension to their play, but one thing that I found/made that has revolutionized my kids' pretend play is ears.
I found wound head bands at Target (5 for inexpensive) and bought different color pieces of felt (some stiff, some extra fuzzy) from the craft store, cut out different animal ears, made 2 little button-hole size slits at the bottom, and threaded them onto the head bands. That way my kids can “change” their animal, by simply sliding off the one set of ears and threading new ones on. You can add detail with felt-tip markers and by adding layers of different felt (or material) to the ears. They love them! Another idea, which won't help in time for Karis' birthday, is to go to the stores on the day of or just after Halloween (or carnival over here in Germany) and get costumes for really cheap! I got a fire fighter costume for 0.50€, a tiger costume for 2€, and a nurses outfit for 1.50€. Both my kids love them! Enjoy!
Hi Ann,
Thanks for your sharing your insights…I always appreciate hearing from those who have gone before me.
Especially for the reminder of the hidden glory in those little secret-good-things as you put it. 
Beautifully put, Vina. I especially identify with the simplicity. As the mom of a 13-month-old daughter with our second daughter due to arrive in less than two months, I'm daily seeking to simplify and prioritize.
My husband recently freed me in this when he told me that he never wanted housework or other “priorities” to come before simply sitting out in the yard playing with our girls. (Said after one of his daily bicycling commutes on which he saw a mom sitting on her front porch watching her kids playing in the front yard.)
Thank you for this well-written article! My life has become much more authentic as a mother, honing in on the things that really matter in life. I now make the best of my time, spending it carefully. I choose to invest in only my top priorities. I simplify everything in order to reach my goals. I am inspired to deeper creativity because of my children. You touched on four very important ways motherhood changes us and have made me think even a bit more about how I am growing in my profession. =) Feel the luv.
This is such a beautiful article, Vina. It's a blessing to see moms pursuing God's purpose in motherhood. At times, it can be a challenge; sometimes it can seems like years-and-years of putting personal dreams on “hold” (or totally letting our desires “die”) as we surrender to God's plans for motherhood. I appreciate your focus on character. Our calling as followers of Jesus, and as mothers, is not just about “doing stuff”; it's about knowing God, and allowing Him to direct our lives, day-by-day. As a longtime homeschooling home-based mom, I can tell you all that putting a priority on motherhood really does pay off!!! It's so thrilling when kids begin to grow up . . . and even from afar, begin shining with fervent passion for Jesus, pursuing godly spouses, and focusing on kingdom-advancing purpose. It's worth all those seemingly-endless home-bound days, when we wonder if we'll ever “do” anything.
God rewards faithfulness. One of my favorite “mommy” verses is Ecclesiastes 12:13-14, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.” There are lots of “secret” good things we're called to do as mothers, that nobody else will ever know about: little things, like reading storybooks, or doing piles of laundry, or praying with our little ones. And isn't it so cool . . . that God sees it all.
Thought provoking post…I think when we can enjoy motherhood for all it encompasses then we become truly fulfilled. God wired us to be mommys.
I had to laugh!
Me too, countrymama! I still have a long ways to go!
So true. God uses parenthood to grow the big ones!
Thank you! I love your point of motherhood being about growing personally/ in character, not only in routines, meals, and homemaking.
This is so true and a blessing to read. Thank you.
My 3 year old son sat with me while I read this and asked to look at the picture one last time. I showed it to him and he said “I think the bad guy must have gotten her eyes and mouth.”
This is great…..I never really realized this before. But my outlook on life has dramatically changed since having children. I still have a long way to go, but with God's grace, I am growing!
I recently had this epiphany: God could have come up with any number of ways to propogate the human race. He chose to use parents. Why? I think you know the answer. Not just to grow the baby humans, but to grow the big ones. God uses parenthood to grow the parents.
XOXO
Joce
Hi Aimee, I know what you mean. I am sure there are still more ways it deeply molds us, this is just scratching the surface…
Hi Junita,
You are welcome. I need to hear this often as well.
This post resonated deeply with me. What a better woman I am as a result of being a mother! When I began the mothering adventure I had no idea that it would so deeply mold and shape and refine my character…
Thank you – I needed this!