Welcome to the recap of chapter 5 of our book study on The True Woman by Susan Hunt, brought to us by Sono Harris, a godly older woman that I greatly admire. Please participate with us in this inspiring read! This post will remain at the top of my blog for the duration of the week and is open for discussion.
Chapter 5: A Cultivator of Community
In her book, The True Woman, Susan Hunt displays, through the clear instruction of Scriptural truth, empirical historical and varied contemporary examples, how a Christian woman, passionate to be all that God has designed her to be, can move closer to the ideals of godly beauty and strength. Once again, in Chapter 5, she achieves these objectives on the subject of community.
Hunt presents challenging and provoking exhortations that are within reach to all of us by God’s grace. In other words, the excuses: I am not married, My husband is not spiritual, Circumstances of my life exempt me, If my children were only, etc. will not work. You cannot legitimately say, “She doesn’t understand. This does not apply to me.”
Hunt’s single mindedness as a woman of the Word and prayer lays the foundation for community wholly on our covenantal relationship with God. She clearly states that you cannot have authentic, horizontal Christian community without it. We must begin there.
After establishing that truth, she goes on to describe how the unique design of women enables and equips them to be a key player in the cultivation and preservation of community life. Hurrah! She exalts the giftings and qualities of women. She validates the unique contribution that only a woman can make.
But Hunt will not allow us to rest on our feminine laurels nor will she let any of us hide out behind an imagined female spirituality: “the woman who is married will not infuse real community into any relationship if she is not doing it in her marriage.” With that potentially painful statement, we are provoked and spurred on to real, not feigned, biblical love and good works.
She challenges women to learn and practice these ideals of creative nurture, warmth, and relational care first at home, then to the larger church community. The progression seems to be: family (husband/ children or parents/ siblings), then church. (This is the same progression we see in Scripture related to the qualifications of overseer and deacon of the church. I Timothy 3:1-13 Manage your own household well before you try to manage the household of God.)
Then Hunt unpacks what it means to practice and enjoy that covenantal level of committed relationship you implement at home, in the church. What a much needed message in 21st century American evangelicalism where self-centeredness (which disregards duty to others), individualism (which looks only to its own needs) and self-fulfillment (which values the church only as it contributes one’s own personal pursuits) are the defining characteristics of churchgoers and church shoppers. (Suggested reading, Stop Dating the Local Church by Joshua Harris)
Hunt paints a contrasting and compelling picture of the beauty of the life and culture experienced by those who will take church relationships seriously. (Mary Matthew Burton, an historical figure who enjoyed the multi-generational blessing of staying in the same covenant community and Lynn Brookside, a contemporary single woman who discovered family through the family of God.)
This chapter is quintessential Hunt. She does not allow us to camp out in a pietistic understanding of any Biblical truth. Rather, with delightful precision, she manages the tension between piety and activity, orthodoxy and orthopraxy placing us solidly on the straight and narrow path of true Christian community.
Discussion Questions:
Feel free to share anything that stood out to you in the chapter (if you are reading along), or answer one or both of the following questions.
1. How can we practically cultivate community in our homes? How can we make it a haven of rest for our families? How can we build relationships in our home rather than tearing it down?
2. How can we practically cultivate community in the church? How can we make the church feel like home and create a sense of family?
Thank you Sono for your contribution!
Sono Harris, is the wife of our pastor, Gregg Harris, and mother of seven children. As a family they have been foundational in the home school movement. Their sons, Alex & Brett have just released their new book, Do Hard Things, and are hosting conferences around the nation on this important topic.
This chapter was one of those “Oh, yea. Duh,” moments for me. The idea that community flows from our covenant relationship with God seems perfectly obvious now, but it took me the entire chapter, two weeks, a Piper sermon and a Driscoll sermon for it to finally sink in.
And I don’t know why, but I was weeping the entire read. Not out of sorrow, but out of a desire to be the one who reaches out and helps to build community. I want it so badly.
I love books that make me want something like that. And it’s not even an incredibly well written book. That’s when you sit up and take notice, because that’s when you know it’s God speaking to you. Gotta love that.
Thank you, Sono for your well done recap of Chapter 5.
I want to say “ditto” to your comment, Kimi, about the wife being instrumental in practicing hospitality. It seems I have all too often had “legitimate reasons” for not having people over. Lord, help me to be more faithful in cultivating hospitality in our home.
There was one concept that especially stood out to me in this chapter, because it is something the Lord is working on in my life – the concept of being intentional. I challenged by, “It means understanding that these ministries are…kingdom activities. …our motive must be different…our motive must cultivate a sense of family among God’s people…” That brought Col. 3:23 to mind,“…whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord and not to men.”
This concept of being intentional also “struck home” with me in regards to question #2. Investing in the lives of people in our body is a primary way of creating a sense of family within the church. I’ve been trying to do this is by extending myself to others at church – by asking the Lord to guide me to people to talk with, to help me be watchful for others who may have needs and for His grace to respond as the Holy Spirit leads. I also desire to be quick to pray for others – either at the time or during the next week (or some set time). Bearing one another’s burdens with sincerity and love is one of the greatest ways to knit hearts together and build a sense of family.
Cultivating community is such a wonderful privilege! God has given women a special gift in this area!
How can this be cultivated in the home? My goal and vision has been to make my home a haven of refuge, comfort and strength for my husband and any guests we welcome into our home. This means there must be some level of organization (madness is no refuge). We should cultivate a love for decorating and making it homey! We should guard family time and spend dedicated focused time together and investing in conversation and relationships. Our speech should be edifying and respectful to our husbands! Others should be welcomed, loved and cared for.
All of this is impossible, apart from the grace of God!
My eyes have been opened to see the vast opportunities for cultivating community in the body of believers as well. In a recent sermon, the preacher challenged us all that we must realize we are all counselors! Whether we like it or not, whenever we open our mouths we are giving counsel, whether good or bad. Where are you getting your counsel? Is it from the world, a recent magazine, or from the Scriptures? Every time we interact with brothers and sisters we have opportunity to invest, edify and encourage with biblical truth. I am challenged afresh to take advantage of the opportunities to minister by simply stopping and praying for a need as it arises, or inviting another woman, who could use a friend, into my home for tea. It is not difficult! It is a glorious task that we can all fulfill. Susan Hunt asks the question, how can we make our churches a more welcoming and loving environment? What an exhortation…don’t just come and go…come and invest in others! We need each other to grow and challenge one another in godliness.
What a powerful chapter! One I will be referring to again and again!
I appreciated this chapter, which has come at a good point in my life (thanks Sono, for the excellent recap
).
As far the the discussion questions, I am going to hop down to the second question since that needs the most work in my family.
Because hospitality is such a key point to building community, from the time of our engagement my husband and I have desired to practice hospitality regularly. Medical crises and health issues have delayed that from becoming a regular part of our routine.
But I have realized how crucial a woman’s part in hospitality is. As I have learned from others who have excelled in this area, I realize how the wife takes a crucial part in cultivating that at home. A husband can be eager to practice this, but if his wife isn’t, it usually won’t happen!
So, in answer to question two. I think that an important part to building community in a church is women who have a heart for hospitality.