Varying emotions, fluctuating feelings, battling discouragement or feeling overwhelmed – these all describe me during that lovely time of the month, and it hit me in full force this week. The battle to stay on top of these emotions is a consistent struggle. The enemy is constantly striving to cause us to blame these sinful outbursts upon these changes (whether it be PMS, post-pardum, etc.) and lose sight of the greater purpose of pushing us to greater dependence upon God.
So how do we deal with these in a Biblical manner?
I have been so edified by the series that Girltalk has been hosting lately on these issues, titled PMS Prep. I encourage you to check it out.
Our neighbor friends, with whom we had build a relationship over the last two year and were seeking to be purposeful witnesses of the truth, moved away with little notice and no final goodbye. I became so discouraged because it seemed our efforts were all in vain and they did not value our friendship.
Karis has been a struggle this last week…maybe due to the two front teeth coming in, or just a battle to train her the meaning of the word “no”. I have burst out in anger at her several times already. Oh God, have mercy on me a sinner! My “to-do” list just seemed to keep getting longer.
I was reminded that God has not called me to give into my emotions and blame my sin (anger, frustration, lack of trusting in the Lord) on my varying hormones. He has called me to rejoice in this trial and keep my mind and heart on the next thing and do it. Don’t dwell on the emotions.
How can I be better prepared next time? Here are three points shared that stood out to me:
Prepare for It
Check the calendar (if possible)! Prepare your heart and arm your soul with the truth of the gospel! Store up memory verses and sermons into your heart, so you can be prepared to battle the discouraging lies of the enemy. Next time around, I am going to plan out this week more carefully, to allow for more rest. I scheduled too many things this week, which doesn’t assist to keep me calm and at peace. Simplify! Use paper plates, simple meals (take out, if necessary, or prepare freezer meals in advance).
Talk to Your Tears
Psalms 126:5-6:
“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.”
John Piper shares on the importance of not sitting back in our emotions but taking action even amidst the tears. There is work to be done whether I am emotionally up for it or not! The promise lies in the truth that if we go forth, take action, we will reap with shouts of joy!
“Suppose you are in a season of heartache and discouragement, and it is time to sow seed. Do you say, ‘I can’t sow the field this spring, because I am brokenhearted and discouraged’? If you do that, you will not eat in the winter. Suppose you say instead, ‘I am heartsick and discouraged. I cry if the milk spills at breakfast. I cry if the phone and doorbell ring at the same time. I cry for no reason at all, but the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is. I do not feel like it, but I will take my bag of seeds and go out in the fields and do my crying while I do my duty. I will sow in tears.’
If you do that, the promise of this psalm is that you will ‘reap with shouts of joy.’ You will ‘come home with shouts of joy, bringing your sheaves with you,’ not because the tears of sowing produce the joy of reaping, but because the sheer sowing produces the reaping. We need to remember this even when our tears tempt us to give up sowing.” A Godward Life, pp. 89-90
Be Content in Weakness
Nicole shares: Yes, the hormones may be raging, our feelings may fluctuate and our body may have worn out. But God’s grace—that comes to us because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross—is real. It is not a myth or a placebo. His grace is real. And it is more powerful than any out-of-whack hormones in our body. It is, as God told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12, “sufficient for you.”
Therefore, let us be content in weakness. Not that we don’t do what we can to alleviate the symptoms. We should avail ourselves of the common grace of naps and vitamins and paper plates and a shoulder to cry on and even a doctor’s visit, if necessary. But our hope is not ultimately in these things. Our salvation is from God. Our hope is in His power that is sufficient to see us through.”
Praise the Lord!
I would love to hear if you have any tips to share for getting through these difficult emotions and struggles?
UPDATE:
I compiled the above post yesterday. The following happened afterwards while I had all this info fresh in my brain. Goes to show that I am a work in process and still need God’s grace every step of the way.
Yesterday, I broke the special glass ball Aaron & I had blown together on our honeymoon (the one unique memorabilia from our trip to the beach), and then our dinner guests did not show up last night (another neighbor we were trying to reach out to). Finally, I had an very short night of rest, only 3 hours (and that wasn’t due to Karis, as she was sleeping soundly). My emotions got away from me. So it is true…I am not perfect and I broke down in tears. Thank God for grace! I am learning the importance of resting more during this season. Now you really know me and my weaknesses….;)
I use http://www.mycycle.com to track my cycles. It’s soooooo nice to know when my “friend” is arriving. Heck, it even tells me when I’m going to ovulate lol.
Their calender is accurate for me. The date they give me is within a day or two. I get an email to remind me it’s coming too!
Currently, I’m on a mini-pill. No side effects at all! My husband and I prayed, and feel this is best for us.
I can relate to the neighbor moving away. I had a friend, at least I thought she was a friend, who I treasured so much. She moved away with no good-bye and took some of my expensive homeschooling materials with her! It was such a shock to me. It hurt my feelings deeply to know that she obviously did not value our friendship. I left it in God’s hands though, and was able to replace my homeschooling books by purchasing used ones online.
I think God blesses us in our efforts to be a light for Him. Don’t allow those who are unresponsive to effect your ministry.
If I wasn’t pregnant (I am quite stable when I am pregnant!) I would really need this post
. I have found that freezing lots of meals is great. And just doing a little each day while the worst is there. I try and keep things ticking over instead of taking on massive projects.
Also there is a lot to be said for keeping your husband informed. Mine is a great help and is very willing to do that bit more when I need him too.
I have never thought of the “sowing in tears” verse like that before. It has opened my eyes a lot. I tend to be lazy when I am down but I will cling to this and get on while I cry in future.
Thank you. Amy
I was thinking on blogging on this same issue. Every first week of the month I have it bad too. I do way to much. I am now realizing I need to just take it easy and rest. Great post. It was basically what I was thinking about myself.
I am 7 months along with our 3rd child and, needless to say, caring for two young children (ages 4 yrs and almost 2 yrs) during pregnancy can be a bit stressful at times. I find that caring for my body with natural supplements (herbs and vitamins), enjoying a healthy diet, and getting enough exercise and rest (not always easy to do), goes a long way in helping me feel my best. I also try to make a few allowances in my schedule during “difficult” times (monthly cycles, pregnancy, sickness, etc) and keep my home management as organized and chaos-free as possible. Meal planning, de-cluttering, and keeping a simple schedule for our children helps things run smoothly- on most days.
) ~Kristy
This is a bit long but just the same I wanted to share. As a young lady I only menstrated 4-5 times a year. My mom’s gynecologist suggested I go in for a check up, my mom was against it but at 19 agreed because dr. said it might be something that might not allow me to have children later on. I went on the pill. Huge mistake, that made my hormones rage even more of basket case. Well neddless to say I did not finish the treatment. I believed that if God wanted to bless me with children He would. My husband doesn’t want anymore children
so we used different types of contraceptives, with each and everyone I suffered from emotional outbursts to the point that we were going to get a divorce so we decided to stop using them.
So with that in mind I would say don’t use any artificial contraceptives.
Another piece of advice that I learned with my pregnancies (i didn’t suffer from morning sickness but my hormones were all over the place), this too shall pass.
I have heard from several relatives of multiple emotion/physical issues revolving around the pill, and have always been against it’s use. Another great informative resource along these lines is Randy Alcorn’s book, Can the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?. We have chosen to use more natural means. Thanks for sharing though!
I’ve heard that Evening Primrose Oil really helps. Probably the same as with the fish oil.
Being a parent is really stretching. Sometimes it feels insanely impossible. You are doing a great job just by admitting your struggles to the Lord and leaning on Him.
I always want to just have things figured out and I search or read parenting books, etc. in a vain attempt to become perfect without going to the Lord and asking Him to wash me and help me. Give me wisdom for that particular issue. Then I realize that that was all it took, just giving up and coming to Him. That’s what He wants, an ongoing relationship.
Grace and Peace.
Beautifully put. Unfortunately age & more children will not make this time any easier. (For most people, I know) Try some red raspberry tea through-out the month; this might make things a bit easier. God Bless, enjoying your blog!
SuzeQ
Interesting…I used both Evening Primrose Oil and raspberry leaf tea during my pregnancy. Thanks for sharing!
please be careful ! red raspberry leaf can cause miscarriage ! It does help with the menstral issues but dangerous if there is a chance to get pregnant .
Lora, my midwife and others recommended raspberry leaf tea to take during pregnancy. It is also in the organic Traditional Medicinals pregnancy tea, which was also highly recommended and I loved during my pregnancy as well.
My research has shown that raspberry leaf can be used abundantly throughout pregnancy, especially the last trimester. It contains the active alkaloid fragrine, which has a special influence on the pelvic region and the uterus. It strengthens and tones the reproductive organs helping prevent morning sickness, miscarriage, and hemorrhage. It can help reduce pain during labor and after birth and prepare the uterus to work more effectively. Rich in vitamin C, E, and iron.
I found only 1-2 sources saying that it is possibly not good during the first trimester if you have a history of miscarriages…but more sources saying it has been used by midwifes for a long time to help prevent miscarriage. Interesting.
Definitely a valuable tea to take to relieve cramps and for healthy pregnancies by my understanding.
Further reading:
Red Raspberry Leaf in Pregnancy
Herbal Allies for Pregnancy
I’m sorry you broke the memento from your honeymoon! That is a downer, and it’s even harder to deal with when the hormones are goin’.
Hey Linds….
Taking fish oil caplets help me w/my emotions during that time of the month.
I SO needed to read this. Thank you so much for posting it Lindsay!