Welcome back for the continuation on our series discussing the importance and how-to’s of simplifying your lives in order to be better fit for the Lord’s use. So far we have talked about the reason for it all, living simply in order to give generously of our time and resources, simplifying by communing, & planning. Now let’s discuss the important truth of just slowing down.
“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you…” (1 Thess. 4:11)
Why does it seem that life is just a mad rush from one event to another? From soccer practice to music lessons, from school to church. You ask “how’s it going?” and the continual reply is: “I am so busy! I don’t have any extra time.” Does that sound familiar?
But we keep choosing busy! We choose it because in this Western world busyness equals success. The more in our dayplanner the greater our importance. Busyness not only wears us down, weaken our relationships, and vaporizes our time; it verges on idol worship. Who is the idol? ME! Do we realize that the root of this busyness might just be an obsession with “me”! Do I think that my efforts and actions will sustain my family and the world around me? Do I imagine it will all fail if I don’t complete this or that?
Are the priorities in the right place? The question begs to be asked, are we missing out on something?
Slowing down takes work, but it is possible and very worth it!
The goal in simplifying your life is to give you more time for the quality activities, for the investment in family and in ministry together towards others! If we aren’t seeing or talking to each other as a family, something must go. If we don’t have time to serve a friend with a meal because we are running around finding all the good sales, maybe we should re-evaluate what truly are our priorities?
This is the boat I was in and must continually be on the alert for those signs of the “busyness idol” creeping in (stressed, overwhelmed, relationships suffering, etc)…this is my weakness, and I have fallen into the trap many times. Here are a few lessons we have learned in the process of learning how to slow down…We are far from perfect, but God’s grace is guiding us as we seek to follow in His purposes.
1. Limit outside activities or commitments
We try to be purposeful in scheduling only 1-2 evenings a week for outside activities (hospitality, invitations, service projects, etc), otherwise the plate is too full and we can’t efficiently serve our family and friends with focus, peace and rest. We have learned this the hard way.
When it comes to outside activities for children, evaluate which is most important, what will have the best long term impact, and be quality activities at the same time. Pick one thing and let everyone do it! For our family growing up it was always music. We all played instruments! We felt this was a priority because we knew we could use these gifts for the Lord’s service in worship and to bless others, so one day a week we would all go to piano lessons.
2. Family Nights
You need the time to invest in one another, so having a family night is important, as well as other nights throughout the week to relax, read together, etc. I love having a focused reading night on Tuesdays, where we just cuddle up and read to our hearts content! Part of the freedom here lies in the fact that we don’t own a television, so we have much fewer distractions.
3. Family Ministry
Choice a family ministry that you could invest in during these outside activity times and not only will you build family relationships but also be extending the Kingdom at the same time. Aaron & I are serving to mobilize in the area of missions in our church so we gather together with fellow enthusiasts twice a month, and that is our activity for the week as we are serving together in it. This could also just be choosing ways to serve together as a family in the church (on the worship team, folding bulletins, setting up in some way). Do things together!
Remember…bathe everything in prayer! Is this something God would desire for us to participate in? I have learned again and again, that if I stretch myself too thin, I can no longer excel in anything! All things get done in a haphazard way when there is too many on the plate. With a husband who is a servant and is frequently asked to serve in different ways, we have to evaluate everything very carefully. How will this affect the family?
4. Take time for rest!
Take a sabbath rest for the good of your family. Whether it be Saturday or Sunday or any other day of the week, remember God has commanded us to rest. Schedule it in! Use this time to refresh your soul in the word and plan for the upcoming week. Taking time to rest reminds us anew of our utter dependence upon the Lord. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who labor will labor in vain! Unless the Lord watches over the city, those who watch will watch in vain (Psalm 127). Acknowledging our need for rest will glorify our Savior as we rest in Him! Remember, the grass will still grow, the sun will still shine, and the rain will still fall. He is in control and not I! He is watching over my household!
5. Continually re-evaluate your priorities
Is housecleaning getting too much attention on my schedule, whereas my husband is getting neglected? Or are too many outside activities going on that my household is in disarray? Am I spending time enjoying my husband and children or just constantly consumed with serving them? My priorities are: God, husband, child, household, others.
“But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.” (2 Cor. 11:3)
Let’s return together to the simplicity of devotion to Christ! Christ is the focus…He is the reason for our existence. Above all, do all that you do for the Lord! Let’s make every step purposeful!
These are the first steps towards simplifying that work for us!
More to come next week…
Do you have any simplifying tips to share? How do you seek to limit outside activities?
Wow, thanks Lindsey! I just started reading your blog last month and it has been so encouraging and helpful! Since my family started going to HOFCC three years ago, it has been so so encouraging for me to see your dependence on the Lord Jesus through your courtship, marriage, and having your first child. As a young adult and preparing to be a wife someday, you were the first person I’ve ever seen court, marry, have a child in submission to the Lord. Praise the Lord! Thank you for your example to us young women! There are so few these days, but how precious they are in the sight of the Lord!
Thanks for this great post, Lindsay. I think you are completely right that business is the modern idol. If your calendar and your schedule are empty it means to the world that you are not able to have friends, that you are not successful and not “important”. In my life that feeling can become overwhelming if others are more busy, work more, have more appointments at the weekend. Thank you for sharing this and reminding us that our souls need peace and silence so we can listen to the Lord who speaks in our silence.
This topic has been huge in my life and my husband’s in the past few years. We want to live differently to serve like you say, and not to be consumed and mandated by this “American way”. This requires constant reelavuation in our life! One way we make time is to have a “at home date night” on Wedendsays. This is a time that we make sure not to plan things and we can do whatever we want! Talk, play games, etc. We also reserve Saturday mornings for a family breakfast and longer devotions. This helps us keep “centered!” Great post!
Great post. This is something I have to be careful about myself. We recently moved and during that move I had severe morning sickness for part of it. I was so busy and had alot on my plate. Now we are more settled with so little to do outside my home and I couldn’t be more happy. It is so easy to over commit myself right out of a peaceful are well care for home life.
I am so much more sane when things are slow and we have time to really live and embrace the moments that come our way. My kids are happier too.
2 Cor. 11:3 is a perfect verse. Thank you for sharing this. I struggle with the same things!
Excellent! Yours is the third blog this week I’ve come across discussing this exact topic and I am heartened by that because when the Lord started me down the simplicity path in 2005 people looked at me like I was nuts. “But what are you going to do?”, they asked. I left a business. Dropped ALL non-family appointments (including church…for a season) and frequently said no to family gatherings as well. In the beginning it was a fasting of sorts as I re-discovered who I was in Christ instead of who I was in me. Gradually, the Lord allowed me to add back in various activities but I still closely guard my family’s time and am mindful of anything that starts to infringe on the most important Relationship of all.
This post has been such a blessing to me today, Lindsay. Thank you for sharing it.
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I just wanted to say that I stumbled across your blog recently, and really enjoy what you have to say! You are gifted and blessed! Thanks for your faithful posts. I have a blog of my own that’s kinda similar, but it’s very basic as I know very little about html/website editing! We too are passionate about Christian living, healthy eating, and green living! Another thing, is that I’m from B.C. but originally from Portland area, which is I think around where you live? As far as simplifying, our motto is prioritize: Jesus, family, friends, ministry. The importance of simply staying home is highly overlooked, and we do very little other outside the home than ministry, swimming lessons, recreation as a family, and visiting friends. Keep up the good work!
Lots of food for thought here – thanks!!
We have recently decided to adopt this verse for evaluating and assessing each decision we make in our family. Galations 5:25 “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
Our desire is to follow God’s call in even the tiniest decision and to prayerfully consider whether we “keeping in step with the Spirit” as we contemplate various aspects of our lives.