Welcome to chapter 1 of The True Woman by Susan Hunt, the first week of our online book study. Each week we will include a brief recap of the chapter, followed by one or two discussion questions. We would love to hear how God is impacting you through this study! Even if you are not joining us in reading the book, you are more than welcome to join in on the discussion!
What is true womanhood?
True womanhood is defined as “consistent with fact or reality, unconcealed, actual, true to fact, real, ideal, genuine, sincere. The true woman is the real thing. She is a genuine, authentic Masterpiece. The Master has set eternity in her heart and is conforming her to His own image. There is consistency in her outward behavior because it is dictated by the reality of her inner life. That reality is redemption.”
The true woman has firm roots in her salvation. She understands that without Christ Jesus she is absolutely nothing. She is seeking to follow the Lord with her very all. Yet she understands that the very glory of God abides in her…she is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. How will she radiate that spirit to the world around her? She is not one to hide her true self, but is real with those around her, quick to be humble, honest, willing to give, but always dependent upon the Savior.
Influencer for Good
In the 1900′s women were encouraged with this thought…”even if we cannot reform the world in a moment, we can begin the work by reforming ourselves and our households-It is a woman’s mission. Let her not look away from her own little family circle for the means of producing moral and social reforms, but begin at home.” (Lady at Home magazine)
Or with this thought: “Every woman, whether rich or poor, married or single, has a circle of influence, within which, according to her character, she is exerting a certain amount of power for good or harm. Every woman, by her virtue or her vice; by her folly or her wisdom; by her levity or her dignity, is adding something to our nation elevation or degradation” (Female Piety).
The true woman is actively seeking how she can influence those around her for good! She takes this power of influence seriously and humbly.
The True Woman vs. The New Woman
Today, women are encouraged to move as far away as possible from the thoughts of serving others and be influencers for good. Instead we are encouraged to pursue our own desires, to seek success, position, identity, and self-fulfillment. Gender roles are confused, morality is lose or non-existent all together.
Could it be that the loss of true womanhood is a basic cause for our current cultural poverty and confusion? It appears to be at least a contributor. Can we recapture the true womanhood reform and challenge our culture? God has placed us in this time and place for a purpose. The challenge is not to wish for the 1900′s again, but to pick up our skirts, pull up our sleeves and get to work in reforming true womanhood.
This is Our Time
“This is our time. This is our opportunity. There is a vacuum of moral leadership. There is decadence and despair….Woman is the keeper of the moral atmosphere. She sets the moral compass.”
We are at a dynamic point in history where we are called to go against the flow and be counter cultural women! How can we reverse the tide of the new woman and replace it with the qualities of the true woman?
“Our moment in history demands women who know their time, but are not controlled or manipulated by their time. Our time begs for women of biblical faith who can exert a reforming influence on culture.”
But this is not possible except for the indwelling presence of the glory of God in our lives! He is our father, dwelling in the very midst of us. He is for us. The true woman is a reflection of God’s glory!
Will you join me in the challenge?
Discussion Questions:
Feel free to address one or both of the questions or just highlight a point that stood out to you in the chapter.
1. How would do you define the differences between the new/modern woman and the true woman?
2. How do you see woman as the moral compass of our culture?
We’re on to chapter 2! Read chapter 2 by next Monday and join us for a recap lead by my mother-in-law, Julie Edmonds.
Dear ladies,
In conclusion to this chapter and discussion, I just wanted to say that the overall point and focus of our study on this book is to learn how we can be influencer’s for good in our culture whether from home or abroad. Tia, to assume that as a stay at home I can accomplish nothing is far from the truth. Homebuilding is a full-time ministry! My children are the greatest instruments I have the opportunity of training in the truth to go forth and be lights in the darkness of our world! They are souls that need time and energy to invest in their eternal future! Personally, I have decided I can do the best job at this task from staying at home with them.
Secondly, there are many opportunities I enjoy blessing others from my home, such as home-made meals to a needy family, notes of encouragement to someone who is struggling, prayer, reaching out to our neighbors, hospitality and service. My husband and I have been working to further a vision for missions within our church, and a lot of the administrative work I complete at home. Bringing my children alongside me in the future to do these activities can cause a huge impact for the gospel. I believe as a stay at home mom, I have more opportunity and freedom to do these things. I just couldn’t juggle it with working outside my home…
As a believer, I have a passion to serve the Lord, my husband, children, and the world! I want to be a light. Making my home a haven for my husband and family (clean, comforting, homey, a place of refuge), serving our family nutritious food to the best of my abilities (so we can remain strong and healthy to accomplish the work of the Lord), and to welcome in others into this haven through hospitality is a great ministry and takes time and energy. If you can do these things while working outside the home, more power to you!
It is important to be in submission to your husband, and I am glad to hear that you ladies (Tia & Elizabeth) are in agreement about your decision. My husband wishes for me to maintain our home and invest my skills here and extend them in ministry from here. I want to walk according to his vision for our family.
Thank you everyone for sharing! I appreciate and am learning from all these different ideas and viewpoints. Be blessed in the Lord! Let’s us move on together in the unity of the Lord.
I would encourage all you ladies, once again, if you haven’t already, to pick up the book and study along with us and participate in further discussion in upcoming weeks!
Very, VERY well said Lindsay! You are already an eloquent and beautiful influencer for good in our culture…thank you.
Dear Elizabeth and Rachel,
After reading the comments of the last few days, I felt compelled to write. Please don’t think that what you are saying is “falling on deaf ears.” I know Lindsay and many of the women commenting personally…and they are simply women who love the Lord and their families and are seeking to learn how to serve them better. No one intends to insult you or make you feel that you are wrong. Remember, a woman’s blog is intended to reflect her heart…and that’s what this blog does.
Before I go on, I do want to say that I recognize the work of the enemy of God and our souls. We all know that he does his best work among God’s children when he can keep us at odds with one another. And we (I) fall prey so easily to getting offended (or offending) and feeling judged (or judging). Elizabeth and Rachel, I know you must feel out-numbered, but please know that we (and I’m sure I can speak for the ladies I know here in this discussion) do not think any less of you because you have different opinions or make different choices than we do. We are simply wanting to grow, by reading a good book and sharing our thoughts.
As women, as wives and mothers, we are faced with many choices that we have to make…many times in our lives. Let me explain.
I am a woman who has had many different seasons. I married when I was 16 years old. My only son was born just after I turned 19, and my husband died 9 months later. I found myself a widow and a single mother at the age of 20.
I worked before and after my son was born, although it was very part-time after his birth. When my husband died, I thought I might die. I didn’t want to face the rest of my life alone and I was afraid of what more bad things life might bring me. My faith was not strong at that time, although I clung to God and He was so faithful to me. I knew though, that the little life that was entrusted to me, needed me. He needed me to not just be okay, but to do my best to raise him in a home that had no father. Now, I know that this is pretty common in our world, and people don’t think too much about it anymore….but let me tell you from one who has experienced it….the void is ALWAYS there (even today, 27 years later), and the hardship, pain and loss of a boy’s father (and a woman’s husband)is a reality that must be lived with day after day and year after year. Throughout those years, I was constantly having to make choices, figure out what was right…no…what was BEST for us, for my son. I learned back then that choices aren’t always just good or bad…there can be good choices, better ones, and BEST. I wanted to choose the best.
The reason I am telling you all of this is because both of you made some very good points. I did need to provide support for us. I was no longer able to depend on my husband’s financial provision. I did not always do everything right, and I stumbled and struggled and got up and started over and sought God’s direction again and again. In the interest of not writing a book-length comment (smile), I won’t go into all the details…but I will highlight a few of the major decisions that I made that had an impact on specific choices that I made at the time, and on our life then and now. You know what they say….”hindsight is 20/20”
First of all, I chose to homeschool my son. I knew that this was the best choice for him, academically and in every other way. This was re-evaluated several times, but remained an important life choice.
Although I intended to take college courses to enable me to get a better-paying job in which to provide for us, God showed me that the school time and subsequent career would require a great deal of time…time sacrificed from my son. I recall hearing something James Dobson said back then…I don’t remember if it was a quote from a book, magazine, or from his radio show, but it went something like this: “It is better to experience a lower standard of living in order to devote your time and attention to your family, knowing that God has promised to provide for your needs; than to sacrifice the truly important things in life in order to provide your family a higher standard of living.” Or, in the words of Jim Elliot, the missionary who died in Ecuador, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Although he was speaking of spiritual things, I believe the concept holds true for investment in family as well.
Those words had the ring of truth in them for me, and I knew that if I did my best to be obedient to what God was calling me to, I could trust Him. I admit, it was scary…I worried if I was making the right choices, would my son resent the choices I made due to our lack of things and money? And I worried if I was hearing God right. I knew this though….if I made the choice to work full-time outside the home or go to school, I would miss years and opportunities with my son. His growing-up years only happened once and I could never retrieve them if I gave them up. School and career, on the other hand, could be pursued when he was grown and on his own…and I would probably never regret that choice.
As a result, when my son turned 13, I closed my business and renewed my commitment to homeschool him through high school. I began tutoring in my home to make extra money, and God blessed me tremendously. At one time, I was earning over $1,000 a month while being home and available to my son and the priorities of our family.
There were many “watershed” moments over the years that space does not allow for now, but what I want to get across from my story, is that whatever happens in this life, God is faithful to you. We do not need to fear our future (i.e. if husband dies, leaves, etc.). In my case, I even feared that if I DIDN’T go to school and establish a career then, that it would be too late for me when I was near 40. Not true…that’s another story of God’s incredible faithfulness and provision.
When all is said and done, all that really matters is our relationships. The money we make, the name we establish for ourselves, the success or accomplishments we achieve…it all FADES in comparison to the investments we make in our families.
I am SO THANKFUL that I made the choices that I did. I see the fruit in my son. I have no regrets that I invested my time and energy in him rather than career. I can do that now…and have.
Ladies, if you choose to pursue a career and to work outside the home, we do not pass judgement on you. We are looking at our own lives and our own families, and want to change the INNER woman…for we know that when we line up on the inside with what God intends, everything else will fall into place. That’s what this book and blog are all about…serving God and the people we love better and better in our homes.
Please don’t let yourself get caught up in the outworking of all that….concentrate on adorning yourself with the inner jewels that God desires. THAT’S what we all want….that’s what I want. Whether you choose to work outside your home is between you, God and your husband. I will not spend a thought judging you on that…I just want to love you in the Lord and hear your thoughts. But…please don’t harshly judge us either. I’ve been in both places…and I know God is faithful to lead EACH of us in the way we should go.
I do hope you have read through my thoughts to the end, and I hope you can sense the love of God here, for Jesus Himself asked His Father that we would be able to show the world that we are His disciples…His true women by the love we have for one another. Blessings to you!
Madeleine, thanks for the response.
I want to be clear that I am not at all calling these women simple-minded. And when I said that there was a “narrow” view of what a true woman is, I was only referring to the fact that there seems to be an insinuation that you’re not a true woman rooted in Christ unless you stay at home with your children. And that is the issue I’ve tried to counter with my comments.
Madeleine, you’re right. We are ALL (men, women, children) called to serve others. All I’m saying is that women who choose career and family should not be cast off with the disdainful label of “new, modern women” and viewed as non-serving individuals.
Rather, it should be recognized that these women are still serving their families. They’re just doing so in a different way because of a different calling.
Some women will choose to stay at home with their children and use their God-given talents and skills in that capacity (perhaps homeschooling). Other women will use their God-given skills to pursue a career and help provide for their families (perhaps making it possible to afford private school). It’s important that neither view be taken to the extreme, and that Christians respect each other’s decisions to “tend their own garden” in the way that is right for their family. Not everyone has the calling to stay home, and not everyone has the calling for a career. The point is that both are ways to find fulfillment and serve your family–and that both are examples of a true woman.
@ Elizabeth & Rachel: Perhaps the position the women here around Lindsay advocates is not so narrow- and simple minded as you think. That a woman has a career is not a bad thing itself and there can be many practical advantages – for example in case your man wants to be divorced or loose his job. What I critizise is not the fact that women work or earn money. But when I look around – I live in Europe, Germany – it is part of the mainstream philosophy that a woman MUST work to be appreciated by society. Her job is the thing that defines her, raising children can every fool, so the public opinion.
The consequence is that women often have careers while the family pay the bill. There are so many divorces, so-called patch work families and heart break.
I am working myself (we don´t have children yet) as a teacher. There has been a child, 11 years old, with great cramps in his stomach. No one could this child pick up and take home because there is nobody at home. The mother has no opportunity to go home to care for her sick child. So this cannot be the conditions that are good for the spiritual and physical developement of children.
By the way: That Jesus ate with sinners, prostitutes, that he was opposed to war etc. is not denied by the biblical concept of womanhood. That Jesus paid women much more of his attention than usual in his times does not imply that the here promoted world view is wrong. There are different issues mingled together. I think – and that should lead back to the genuine discussion – that S. Hunt would agree that Jesus appreciated women and that women should be appreciated and treated as thinking individuals. But what is the core of Christianity and therefore the core of Christian womanhood? It is serving. And as mothers and wifes we are to serve our families, and fathers and husbands has to serve theirs families, too. S. Hunt´s book tries to explicate how we can – as women – serve best.
Lindsay & Marliss,
Thank you for your responses. I disagree, but I appreciated the chance to exchange ideas.
It’s wonderful that you have found the sphere where you enjoy the greatest fulfillment; I’m happy to hear it. I simply have found that fulfillment in a different way under a different calling. I was merely trying to establish that neither is the ONLY option.
By making the distinction between the “true woman” and the “new woman,” where the new woman is described as someone who “pursues her own desires, seeks success/position/identity/self-fulfillment” outside the home and the “true woman” is described as someone rooted in Christ, you are essentially saying that women with careers are not rooted in Christ and are not true women.
This is insulting, and in my opinion, worse than hardcore feminists because it limits God’s mighty power. You say in one instance that you don’t claim to know what God calls for every woman, but then make multiple comments about how women should stay home and how they can’t successfully pursue both a career and a family.
I respectfully disagree and know many Christian women (old and young) who do this well. I didn’t mean to imply that those in this blogging network who have chose to stay at home are in a bubble–I know many women do that, too! I just meant that I’ve never encountered a group of women (outside this blogging network) who believe this is the ONLY choice for a woman.
It’s clear that we have many opposing views on this and other topics, but we can agree to disagree. The biggest thing I wanted to establish was that a true woman comes in a variety of packages.
hi elizabeth!
I’m a working mom too! I work outside the home. And I’m not worried or doing it because I’m scared my husband will divorce me. I do it because it fills a need to actually work!
Lindsay, you can’t imagine working outside the home (i’m guessing) and I can’t imagine sitting home and being a homemaker and mom. I like bring home a NICE paycheck, as does my husband. I like knowing I can pay my bills, and have savings. God calls us to be good stewards of our money. That includes, putting money aside.
A two income family is needed in our area for a nice home the in a good area. I’m not going to live in an apartment or whatever, I want a single family home.
Not everyone is called to stay home. Our gifts and talents can be used outside the home. How can we reach the lost and hurting if we are sitting at home and working? And if we only deal w/christians who are we really helping?
I’m tired of seeing people wanting to live in a bubble, because of the world. The world isn’t going to change for the better, if we all sit at home.
Rachel & Elizabeth,
First off, I would like to thank you for your input in the discussion, although it may be better if you were reading the book, and had a clearer idea of what we were discussing. I don’t believe we have said anything thus far saying that pursuing a career is wrong (in fact, this is not addressed in the book at all). I apologize if this thought came across in that light.
Up to this point, we have been discussing how we can live as redeemed women, being examples of Christ to our culture. That is what true womanhood is about, as you read in the quotes above. Wherever God has placed a woman, that is where He would have her shine for His glory.
Biblically, God has called women to be “keepers of the home”, to serve their husbands, and to manage their households well, and love and train her children. Honestly, I don’t see how you can successfully do this while pursuing a career outside the home. (Thanks Marliss for sharing your experiences!) Homemaking is indeed a full time job!
My question would be, what is the motivation? Why are you doing it? To pursue a career because you are afraid your husband will leave you, is to plan for a divorce (why live with that thought?). To pursue a career because you are afraid your husband will die or get sick, is to live in fear. God does not call us to live in a spirit of fear, but to trust Him for his provisions if He called you to endure such a trial.
Something to consider…For women to pursue a career is to take on both of the curses in Genesis, the curse of laboring hard to work the ground (which was given to Adam), and the curse of pain in childbirth (which was given to Eve). This is something Mark Driscoll has said. (By the way, he gives an excellent series on biblical womanhood that I would highly encourage all to listen to! Listen here. Go to Sermons -> Practical Topics -> Women.)
Before having children, I think a woman can be free to pursue a career, helping to support her husband’s income, if she is not neglecting her home and her husband. I am highly supportive of women developing skills that could be used to raise income from the home, but her primary focus should be to serve her husband and raise her children, if and when they join the family. Once children come, this should be her primary focus. These skills can be creatively applied within the home. Is it truly necessary that she pursue a career outside the home and away from her children?
Personally, I have been teaching piano from the home. I have applied this within my home to raise a little extra income to supplement my husband’s. But he is the primary provider for our family, and he thrives to know that he is responsible for taking care of us, that is part of his God given role. This responsibility was not given to me! Adam was to work the ground. I teach because I delight to do so, and it does help a little financially (more to give away to those in need!), but Karis is my focus!…but as more children join our family, I will probably be stopping this, so as to focus on loving my children and nurturing them. This is such a delight!
Once again, the purpose of my blog has been an extension of my personal thoughts and journey as a homemaker. Far be it from be to claim to know what God calls for every woman. I hope I never do any such thing, but I strive to be faithful to pray through and understand the teaching of the Bible and apply it faithfully as God calls to me. My husband delights for me to fulfill my role as a homemaker, taking care of my child, working a little on the side, and this is where I find my greatest fulfillment!
Elizabeth: As an older woman, I have done it all. I have been a successful career woman, even after I had children, and I have been a stay-at-home mom. I experienced tremendous validation in my career, and I have experienced being taken for granted as a wife and mother.
As a career woman, I ached to be home with my children, celebrating moments with them (my oldest took her first steps at the daycare center), being their comfort and security in every situation, and learning to know them as they learned about their world.
As a stay-at-home mother, I suffered sleep deprivation when my children were young and yearned for just one uninterrupted bathroom visit, quiet time, or conversation with my husband. I still wonder if I will ever have a clean, quiet, orderly home for more than a few moments at a time.
I think that in a nutshell, it boils down to what you want: do you want what is good, or do you want what is best? It is good to, as you say, be a force for good both at home and on the job. But it is best to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. No one else can do it as well as you because no one else loves your children like you do. And God gave them to you, not to anyone else. He expects you to fulfill your responsibilities in raising them and training them and not pass those responsibilities on to anyone else.
To raise children properly takes a huge time investment. Children really don’t care about quality time. What they want is quantity time, and they don’t understand why you are sacrificing time with them to give them the best opportunities. They don’t care about opportunities, they want you.
And as far as supporting charities or missions work — what better than to go and serve with your children? To show them by your example, working side-by-side wth them, what loving the least of these our brethren is?
Career, faith, and family are not compatible elements in a woman’s life. I have been there. I know. And I know that the anguish of feeling torn by competing priorities is the experience of most career women. That’s why you see news stories about high-powered career women forsaking the corner office to become happy stay-at-home moms. And that’s just the ones who make the news. The percentage of women entering the workforce has slowed in recent years. And if the world “gets it”, shouldn’t we as Christian women be leading this movement? Shouldn’t we be setting the standard?
All women have God-given talents and skills that can be used profitably in the work force. But God designed them to be used in the home and the community. And kudos from the boss and a raise cannot be compared to the acute pleasure and fulfillment of knowing that you have used your talents and abilities to better someone’s life. And that has eternal value. The things of this world are but dung.
And absolutely, men and women are equal before God. He created us that way. But women are privileged to have the high calling of submission to their husbands. Once you understand what it is to be a woman who is truly fulfilling the role that God designed for her, you will understand that what you now think of as the narrow definition of “true woman” that the book and this blog espouse is not narrow at all. It is deep and intense and more satisfying than anything the world or a career or anything done in your own strength can be.
You are wrong when you infer that the women that believe this way are living in a bubble. Many of us, like me, have experienced it all and have chosen the best. I hope you do, too.
Rachel: right on. Finally, a voice of sanity. I’ve been quite shocked to see the narrow view many have adopted of what a “true woman” is.
I mean no disrespect to Lindsay or anyone else who has commented here; I just feel really strongly that those who believe a woman’s only God-given purpose in life is to be a stay-at-home wife and mother are not only putting God in a tiny box but are also no better than the radical feminists you despise who believe real women only choose career paths.
I have been a Christ follower since I was a child. I was raised in a Christian home, and am now married to a wonderful godly man. Of no less importance, I have also had career aspirations since I was a child, have been blessed by God with a successful career, and plan to continue my career once my husband and I start a family.
I realize to the bloggers in this network, this view seems (to put it mildly) radical. But, I assure you, outside of your bubble, this is typical for many Christians. Believe it or not, career, faith, and family are compatible elements in a woman’s life. And it’s absolutely insulting to say otherwise, or to insinuate that women like me are not “true women” (not to mention “true Christians”) because we work and have a desire (and a calling!) to pursue a career AND a family.
This is not to say that being a stay-at-home wife and mother is wrong. It’s absolutely not. It’s just not the only option.
Do you really claim to know what God calls for every woman? Did anyone stop to consider that a woman with career aspirations is using her God-given talents and skills to help provide monetarily for her family so she and her husband can provide their children the best opportunities they can (not to mention give to charity, support missionaries, etc.)? That she can be a force for good in BOTH her home and at her job? And that by doing so, she’s setting an excellent example for her children?
Sadly, I fear these words will probably fall on deaf ears, because our views on life, faith, womanhood, and much more are so different. But I hope that you’ll consider that a “true woman” comes in more than one type of package. I think Rachel said it best when she noted that Christ viewed men and women equally, and that it is HIS view of “true womanhood” we should be concerned about.
Hi Lindsay,
I come from a christian family in India. I was suprised that emancipated women from the West are choosing to forego their financial independence and be content with what God provides at home. I’m a working woman, pregnant and married to a wonderful man. If my husband falls sick, I have the capacity to take care of him, just as he’s taking care of me when I’m pregnant. So, if in case, the husbands of one the “Keepers of Home” falls sick or dies, whats to be done? Or even worse, if the husband deserts his wife for another women and the children grow up to selfish and vain (Remember even a godly man like Eli had sons for whom he had to be ashamed of), where is the woman’s identity? For all the years of love and affection and godliness she has nothing in return, other than financial dependance and bitterness. Of course, God is always there, but like in the life of Job, his graces are sometimes tempered.
And housework was something, I thought all the members of the family should be involved – because its our family and because . Remember, the prostitute whom people wanted to stone to death. Jesus, asked is there any one here who has not sinned, let him be the first to cast a stone at her? He was holding the men also accountable, in a vieled reference to their own lusts. Christ always treated men and women equally. He hailed, “Blessed is the woman who bore you.” And if you see Christ himself was not very popular those days with his radical views (Remember there were people in power who hated him so much that they wanted him crucified). Yes! Radical! For his friends were Samaritans (people who were discriminated like the blacks are today. The Jews never had much dealings with them and yet Christ told the story of the Good Samaritan and was kind to the Samaritan woman at the well), Tax collectors ( or Romans, the enemies of the Jews, who were God’s people.) and prostitutes.
If CHRIST had been alive today in AMERICA: I can see him championing the cause for the dignity of the blacks, speaking against the Iraq war (Yes, our God tells us to turn the other cheek) and refusing to have anything to do with earthly politics (for wasn’t he the man who said “Render unto Ceaser the things that are Ceaser’s.”)
And remember what Christ said about Martha being burdened with too many cares of the house. He preferred Mary who would listen to him. Mary who might be like him: Like Christ: friend of the fisherfolk, the prostitute, the Samaritan and with not a penny to his name. Prophetesses are there in the Bible. They were equally blessed by God. Yes, they were woman, who talked about the word of God. Lay pastors in their time.
When the God has created mountains, valleys, the planets, the moon…would he not have wanted both men and women to enjoy them. Would he have disapproved of a female astronaut or female mountanieer.
While the apostles, Paul and Peter might have disapproved of forward women. Did Christ find fault with any woman of his acquaintence? We should be looking at Christ’s idea of a perfect woman? Not Paul or Peter’s idea of womanhood?
I have not found much time to blog this week, so I haven’t joined in the conversation…although I have been following the discussion.
Since I am unable to sleep tonight :\, I did want to check in with you all to say that I have read the first chapter and am very much enjoying hearing the thoughts and comments from everyone….thank you! It makes the reading much richer.
Many things spoke to me in my reading, but the last paragraph of the chapter was especially convicting to me:
“Her [the true woman] redeemed character is shaped and driven by God’s Word and Spirit. Because she is the very dwelling place of the Lord God, her reflection of Him is manifested in every relationship and circuumstance of life. The distinguishing characteristic of her life is His presence in her radiating out to all who see her. The true woman’s life is not segmented into sacred and secular. All of life is sacred because it is lived in His presence. The true woman is a true reflection of God’s glory.”
O LORD, LET IT BE SO IN MY LIFE! My prayer is that my character may be shaped by Him and that I truly will be a true reflection of God’s glory.
One more time: “The distinguishing characteristic of her life is His presence in her radiating out to all who see her.” I have to ask myself…can this be said of me?
Such a powerful thought and one to be taken seriously. Thanks for sharing, Madalyn! He is our dwelling place, and has appointed me to bear His name and radiate His glory to those in my spear of influence! I love the thought that our lives should not be divided between secular and sacred. All should be sacred and holy, purposeful and passionately pursued! That is such a good prayer for each of us!
R. Silva, I so appreciate what you have said in your posts! You are exactly right—women do have power. Men have the power of position, and women have the power of influence. Women down through history have been considered a gentling and refining influence on society. That is why it is so sobering to see the degradation of femininity nowadays.
I was intrigued by Kimi’s question, and looked up ‘moral” and “compass” and then “moral compass” online.
From Webster’s 1828 dictionary, moral means: “Relating to the practice, manners or conduct of men as social beings in relation to each other, and with reference to right and wrong. The word moral is applicable to actions that are good or evil, virtuous or vicious, and has reference to the law of God as the standard by which their character is to be determined. The word however may be applied to actions which affect only, or primarily and principally, a person’s own happiness.”
And compass means: “Stretch; reach; extent; the limit or boundary of a space, and the space included; applied to time, space, sound, &c. 2. A passing round; a circular course; a circuit. 3. Moderate bounds; limits of truth; moderation; due limits.”
The Centre for Defined Ethics (UK) has this to say about a moral compass: “…By providing a clear route through societies’ increasingly complex ethical dilemmas it enables individuals to have the moral courage to stand for what is right. It does this by applying consistent defined principles to ethical problems, rather than applying ‘the best of intentions’, which are expressions of personal preference and not necessarily ethical.”
When I think of a compass, I think of it in terms of a guide. A compass tells us the way to go in order to reach a desired goal, but it is not the leader, nor does it make the decisions. A human example would be Sacagawea, the woman who guided the Lewis and Clark expedition.
Men clearly have the responsibility to set the moral tone and lead their families (and the nation) in what is right and godly. But I think that women can be considered to be a moral compass without usurping the men’s God-given leadership role. Women, in their role as helpmeet can bolster their husbands’ moral courage to stand for what is right…or cause it to waver. They can become a valuable resource, helping their husbands make wise decisions…or not. “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Prov. 14:1
So there is a great burden on women to be wise. In order to be a godly moral compass guiding truly, “…each individual woman’s redeemed character [must be] shaped and driven by God’s Spirit and His Word.” Pg 32
As far as the difference between the True Woman and the New Woman, this is painful for me right now. I have a dear—perhaps I should say had a dear friend of 35 years who recently took her six children still at home and moved to another town, away from her husband. She left her marriage of 22 years because she felt her husband was abusive and had never loved her, or supported his family, despite the fact that she stayed home with her children for 18 of those 22 years. And she believes that her reasons for her actions are biblical. She has broken off our friendship and considers me legalistic because of my belief that marriage is a covenant relationship that only ends with death.
When a woman forsakes the reading of the Word, comes out from under the authority of her husband, and disdains the exhortation and accountability of godly women and listens instead to the soothing words of women just like herself, she becomes easy prey for the enemy of our souls, the father of lies, who says that feelings, experiences, and circumstances are higher truth than the Word of God. No wonder the evangelical tide of the last decades has had no effect on the common culture. Pg 29
I need to tie my just-posted comment to the actual discussion questions (duh.)
Woman as Moral Compass? This is a tough one. No, not ultimatey, but kind-of.
Re-reading the first part of the chapter, I see that Susan Hunt did sound like she was making a case for Women as Moral Compass. I thought that she was trying to help us see just how influential we are. Which is a humbling realization. I was pleased with how clearly she laid that point out. But perhaps she does give a little too much weight to that one point.
To follow up on Kimmi’s post, I think the Moral Guidance of our culture is a shared burden between Men and Women.
Certainly God sets the standard for right and wrong in his word, that would be the Morality side of it. Then the compass element comes in as all his children, male or female carry equal authority in the demonstration and proclamation of God’s standard (1 Pt 2:5,9, Gal 3:28). We just demonstrate and proclaim differently, depending on whether or not we are male or female (see John Piper’s treatise on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood). I think.
As a result of the Modern Feminist Movement, I think all of us (Christian women) are uncomfortable seeing our influence as power, lest we be likened to the New Woman. And rightly so. But I am always relieved to learn that at least some of the desires I feel are God given and that he has also created a righteous way for those desires to be fulfilled. In this case I’m referring to my desires to impact my world and change things for the good. Every time I see God’s provision for things like that, it builds trust and thankfulness and pours over into worship. . . Praise God!
I don’t have to have a job outside of the home to effect my world for the good. God has made it so that the most powerful influence I can have on the world is from the quiet-center of my Home. That is so counter-intuitive from a worldly perspective. Yet that is how God has made things to work. It has always been a small group of committed individuals that have spawned entire movements. God has always worked that way!
It thrills me that he is allowing me to be a part of something great. Something “foolish” that will confound the “wise”. How powerful
PS. Sorry about the long, previous post. I was kinda going off.
Power vs. Control.
Page 29 of Chapter 1, a quote from Female Piety:
“. . . But when she adds to the traits of sympathy, forbearance, and warm affection, which characterize her, the strength and wisdom of a well-cultivated intellect, and the still higher attributes of religious faith and holy love, it is not easy to limit the good she may do in all situations, and in all periods of life.”
I appreciate very much that Susan Hunt has gone out of her way in this first chapter to impress upon us the immensity of influence we wield over those in our circles. And such influence can only be used for good when it is fully understood for what it is. It is power.
I can, by simply changing the expression I wear on my face, determine how the entire day will go for my whole family. Will the day go well? Will I communicate God’s love to them? Days turn into weeks, weeks become months, then years. . . lives. Will their lives go well? What have their lives been filled with? Smiles or frowns.
Of course, I’m using the smile and frown as analogies for something more complex. I don’t mean to reduce our lives to a series of facial expressions. But it can only be “power” when something as simple as a smile can have so much impact. And something as simple as a smile does have that kind of impact! How much more so the sum of all of our seemingly small decisions. (Perhaps all your small decisions don’t seem small to you. If so, kudos for seeing the bigger picture.)
So, I feel, that the point is not so much whether or not we have power. I think it is very well established that we do. Rather, I wrestle with the question of how best to use that power. To whom is the power submitting? Do I see God as being in authority over me and my power/influence or do I see myself as independent of all authority. That question is, I think, the key distinction between the New Woman and the True Woman. The latter submits to God, the other submits to whatever will make her feel good at the moment.
That is why, I think, Ms. Hunt spent the second half of the chapter devoted to the necessity of the development of Godly Character. Such character would indeed produce not only a devotion to the will of God but a humility and sober-mindedness that would drive us to our knees begging God to teach us to be submissive. Godly character would desire the requisite spiritual disciplines, regular bible study, prayer time, etc., that provide us with safeguards that help us recognize a controlling mind-set when it rises up in us (me
It humbles me to observe my influence on my Husband. To see a spring come into his step as a result of a small decision I made. It humbles me to observe some unwanted behavior in my children then realize that they are imitating perfectly something I do everyday!
page 32, to quote Ms. Hunt:
“Any group is in danger of spinning out of control unless each individual woman’s redeemed character is shaped and driven by God’s Spirit and His Word. Placing a high premium on each woman’s character. . .”
This was a good first chapter! I’m excited to continue on and see what else she has to say. Good pick, Lindsay
I was challenged by the role we have as women–I was also thrilled to realize the impact we are able to have on the generations..Truly, knowing Jesus is the key–all life and goodness stems from Him.
Blessings
Molly
Hey Ladies,
I thought that Susan Hunt had some wonderful thoughts and vision for us women. I appreciate her Christ centered, glorifying God focus. I can’t wait until we get further into the book, where she delves into some great theologically important topics. Rich topics to discuss. Thanks, Lindsay, for the excellent recap.
I thought that it would be interesting for us to discuss this idea of women being the “moral compass”. The ladies from Lindsay’s and my church will know a little more of where my thought process is coming from and I would love to hear your thoughts on it (and, of course, everyone else’s!)
What I appreciated about a lot of the quotes that Susan Hunt shares in the first chapter is how it shines a light on women’s influence on our homes, our churches and countries. I think that we do undervalue our impact sometimes and for that reason, I was glad to be encouraged by these quotes to really try to impact my family and circle of influence for good!
But on the other side, some of the quotes included in this first chapter, I was a little unsure of, including the ones that seemed to exalt women into a role of being the “moral compass”. I showed them to my husband, and he was a little concerned as well. Our Teaching Elder (Pastor), at the last men’s meeting had apparently, used a quote that was from the same time period using the same idea of women being the moral compass or moral keepers/leaders. But he was saying that it was wrong.
He was exorting the men that they should feel the moral pressure to set the moral tone and lead their families in what was right and godly, and it shouldn’t be put on the shoulders of women to bear.
Susan Hunt is a woman who is a strong supporter of men being the leaders and you see that come out in the book. My husband and other men in our church had the opportunity to hear her speak and respected what she had to say and really admired her. I don’t think that she feels that these quotes are at all in conflict with male leadership.
What do you think? Do you think that men, as leaders, should also bear the responsibility of being the moral compass of our nation? Or is that a woman’s responsibility? How would you support your view with Scripture?
I look forward to your thoughts. (Mrs. Edmonds, I would especially love to hear yours!)
Hi Kimi and All,
I’m finally getting to the computer after a busy week! I wanted to respond to your question about woman being the moral compass in the home. First, I believe that we as women, whose souls are saved by the power of the Holy Spirit, have had our moral compasses brought to life. We now have a God perspective of what is right and wrong, which way is north and south. Of course we are all in the sanctification process but our minds are being renewed day by day as we walk in the Spirit and the power of His Word. Secondly, as woman we have been given the job, along with other responsibilities, to be the Keepers of our Homes (Titus 2) and to “Look well to the ways of our Household” (Proverbs 31) and as we do that we bring our moral compass with us, into our homes, where we eat, sleep, cook, clean, care for our babies, greet our husbands, homeschool our children, interact with our teenagers, talk on the phone, get on the computer, you get the picture. Now we do this as a representative of first our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and secondly to honor our husbands.
When we were saved we are now called a “Christian” and as our life matures we will be conformed more into the image of Christ. That means we begin to walk and talk more like Jesus would have if He were called to be a woman. When we marry we no longer are called by our maiden name (a representative of our father’s house) but by our husband’s last name. We are now a representative of our husband to our homes and the world around us. We can use our moral compass to keep our homes, raise our children, reach out to others, and make helpful suggestions to our husbands because our primary place of influence is in the home with our husband and children. I don’t believe this in any way under minds or usurps the husband’s authority or leadership in the home. Using our moral compass, with female grace and beauty (Esther, Ruth, Abigail, Mary mother of Jesus) should only serve to enhance his moral compass as he leads the family and other places of influence such as church, community, and business world.
As women, we have a important role in standing behind our husbands and fathers and training our children, which is a huge part of being a moral compass. (Behind every great man stands a good woman!) She is a woman who directs and guides, encourages and supports, trains according to the Word. I believe the husband is called to lead in setting the moral standard, directing the compass, but it is primarily a responsibility of the wives to act on that moral standard and to be the primary trainer of her children accordingly (as she is with them the majority of the time).
I think keeping it in balance is the key. She should be in submission to her husband, but also taking purposeful steps to influence her family, church, and community with a high standard of morality and directing those in her center of influence along a godly path. The point I believe Susan Hunt is making is that women have a powerful influence if they take it seriously! She should take great thought to her words, actions, attitudes, and evaluate how that will impact those around her. This will then result in a huge impact on the nation!
Thanks for posting your thoughts on the first chapter!
So these are my reflections about the new and the true woman:
I think that in Europe the difference between the true and the new woman is even sharper than in the United States where the Christian movement seems to be very strong (this blog and the many readers are a sign of this movement!). The new woman is ihere omnipresent and now other concept of womanhood is tolerated: Women must have a career, she is identified by her career – so as many nurseries as possible are build up and paid by the state. Even toddlers of 5 monthes are brought to the nursery in the morning and the stressed mother picks the child up at 5 pm. In my view the new woman has the ideology that her own person comes first and her husband and her children are instruments to satisfy her ambition to have a “high value” – the husband by earning lots of money, driving a fast car, and the children by being pretty, clever, being successful in playing tennis, piano and ballett.
One bad thing about the new woman is that she has to deserve her value by so many efforts. Frustration is sure because human beings like husband and children are not all suitable to make friends and neighbours jealous. If the value of a person must be deserved by being successful in career and other secular areas you are never sure to be a person of value. You are never sure that you are a precious and beloved person.
So for me the “true woman” who lives biblical womanhood knows that she has an intrinsic value and that she is precious because she is the only person who can care for her family best. She is the only one who can have a wonderful influence on children and husband, who can console them, encourage them, love them. She does not have to be driven by ambition and the fear to count nothing in the eyes of the world because she knows that she is loved and she is precious to God because of her immortal soul and her inner beauty. That is why she is the true woman: In her heart can be peace and calmness.
Blessings, Madeleine