Welcome to part 3 of our Titus 2 Talk on being workers at home….For part 1, visit here and part 2, visit here.
As we have seen, God has called women to be “workers at home”, caregivers, stewards, guardians of the home. Is there any exceptions to this? Is there freedom to work outside the home or earn income from your home? As Carolyn Mahaney continues in her book, Feminine Appeal, “Since God orders our lives in seasons, there will be periods of time when pursuits outside the home will not compromise the quality of our work in the home (children are grown, before having children, etc), but whenever we contemplate these opportunities, we must first prayerfully consider the consequences they might have on our family. We must always evaluate our motives.”
Use these questions, provided by Carolyn, as you evaluate these opportunities. I would use these not just when considering outside work but as you evaluate opportunities to earn income from your home as well:
1. What are my reasons for considering this opportunity? Are they selfish or God-honoring?
2. Will pursuing this venture glorify God and honor the gospel?
3. Is this an undertaking that will help my husband?
4. Will it enhance and enrich the lives of my family?
5. Does this endeavor hinder my role as caretaker of my home?
Asking these questions will help us all make wise and discerning decisions. Always prayerfully discuss these questions with your husband.
There are definitely exceptions where a wife will need to work outside the home (i.e. husband is debilitated in some way, single mom, etc), but when you see Michelle F. (one of our panel) whose husband is a simple mailman raising eight children and staying at home, or my dear aunt Molly who has been a single mother for the last 10 years and has just been creative in small home business ideas so that she could stay at home with her five children, I believe it is truly possible! If you feel God is calling you to be at home to raise and nurture your children, God will provide! It is important to be in full agreement with your husband in these matters. If he is not on the same page, pray that God might soften his heart. Whatever the outcome, if your husband desires for you to work or not, God will honor your decision as you submit to your own husband (1 Peter 3:5-6).
This brings us to question #3…
3. What are your thoughts on earning income from home and do you have any creative ideas for doing so?
If you have discussed these matters with your husband and feel it is necessary to add a little income to the household, consider first and foremost things that you could do from your home, in order that your domain would not be neglected or left unguarded.
There are lots of simple ideas out their for earning an income from your home…
Evaluate your skills/gifting together with your husband. What do you love doing? What skills has God given you? Could you put that skill to good use in making a little income?
1. Day care within your home – You could include your children in the process of impacting another child’s life as well. This could be a wonderful ministry opportunity alongside your children.
2. Teaching lessons or skills – become a Bradley class instructor, music teacher, offering tutoring lessons, photography services, etc. I have been teaching four piano students on the side which provides a little extra resources. All of these ideas require little expense as long as you have the knowledge and basic skills.
3. Start a home business - my family (particularly my sister Christa) saw a need for modest clothing and began a small business from my family’s home. I know of several individuals who have become consultants with companies like Pampered Chef, Creative Memories, Mary Kay, etc. Through these companies you can sell their products, host little parties and earn income as a result.
Here are a few further thoughts from our panel…
Scarlett: My ideas for creatively earning an income while still managing my household are to make items like: aprons, jewelry and sell them on etsy. I also go through my home and see what we aren’t using and sell items on craigslist. Also, one way we have saved lots of money is to buy items at Goodwill or the Dig. Amazing clothes, dishes, quilts, coats, etc. at such amazing prices. I can’t believe the deals we have found and the money we have saved. I always thought I should buy new, but the clothes, etc. at Goodwill and the Dig are in great shape and sometimes barely worn or even new with tags on for $1-$5.
Michele: In her book, All The Way Home, Mary Pride speaks of the blessing in teaching her children how to run a home-based business, as part of their homeschooling. There are different degrees of self-employment, ranging from a full investment, to a “part-time hobby.” Is there something your family enjoys/excels in, that you could expand into a home-based business?
I know of a couple ladies who joined together and created a gift basket business. They often receive orders from churches and businesses to provide baskets for guests staying in hotels, or for holiday gifts. These women prepare all their baskets from home, and the children love to be involved!
Many women have also invested their time in sewing (such as quilts, baby gifts, etc.). Online avenues for selling your products are widely available (such as Artfire or Etsy). I know of some women who focus their efforts on selling at holiday craft bazaars, or specialize in seamstress work for wedding/formal wear.
I do have a little Etsy shop; at this point it isn’t much, but I enjoy involving my daughter at such a young age! She loves watching me sew (often pretending to sew next to me), helps package up orders, and goes to the post office with me. We even look on the map to see where the packages are going!
When my husband was a child, his family had chickens, and they were able to sell the eggs. A small chicken coop is actually legal in many cities (you don’t necessarily need a farm!). (Some regulations may prohibit the noisy roosters, though.) Check into your local Farmer’s Market options, too, where many families are able to sell homemade wares (such as soaps or sewing), herbs, or produce!
For clothing, we have often been blessed to receive hand-me-downs from friends, along with essentials from thrift stores. Also, learning how to mend is an essential skill, to save on buying new items! I tend to buy most children’s clothing basics in neutral colors (such as shirts, overalls, socks, pajamas, and snow gear), in case our next baby is a boy. (Our daughter always seems to end up with plenty of pink things and dresses through hand-me-downs, anyway, so I try to make wise purchases.)
I sold some outgrown baby items at a local consignment sale earlier this year, which provided some needed items for winter, also. I met some women who used the consignment sales as a source of income. They would purchase nice baby clothes from garage sales, and then resell them for a profit.
Michelle F: This question makes me a bit nervous because I think we first need to make certain that our husbands have asked us to do this. We always want to be sensitive and careful not to undermine our husbands! Always look to God first, your husband second, and God given gifts and talents thirdly. Always seek to please God and your husband and glorify God with your actions. Many businesses have been built by being generous. Giving away your time and talent with a heart of love, and then God gives back with financial gain. It is God who is our provider and it is He who gives and takes away. Look at what you need to do first within your own home – like you laundry, cooking, sewing, etc. and then you can consider incorporating doing these things for others in what you are already doing.
I know a Pastor’s wife who as her children have gotten older (this is key as you can not get back the foundational years). She takes a couple hours during the week and cuts hair within her home. What I love about this is that she does not do it to help her husband provide necessarily but rather she does it to bless others and in so doing she receives financial gifts. She works by donation only! God provides by moving the hearts of His people and what she makes she invests in the building of her home not to walk as equal to her husband. She is putting Christ first and not money, things, or the idea of providing for her household.
Marliss: There are plenty of scams out there, and it is necessary to be very cautious. I would say that craigslist is one of the last places to look for a work-from-home job because of all the scams. However, there are some decent websites where, although it is still wise to be cautious, scams are less likely. Here are a few:
Clark Howard has a radio show about finances, and has a page on his website devoted to legitimate work-from-home opportunities.
Independent Homeworkers Alliance has pretty much all legitimate work-from-home or telecommuting jobs from all over the country. Looking at the database is free, but there is a fee (as little as $9 for a month’s access) for getting the information necessary to apply to a posted job. I got two of the work-from-home jobs I have had on this website.
WAHM.com is where I found my current job as a grant research assistant. There are a bunch of worthless ads, but the telecommuting page is worth looking at.
There are also iLance and eLance that are apparently legitimate freelance websites both to advertise one’s skills and to bid on jobs that are posted there.
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In conclusion, I want to share my personal struggle. I often have to be on guard against pride and always be evaluating my motives in this pursuit of income earning. I struggle with the desire to earn an income to facilitate the purchase of things for myself, our home and my family, or just considering it “my” money. There is some desire to prove myself and want to demonstrate to my husband how I can earn income as well. As women, part of our curse was that we would want to rule over our husbands, and I believe the tendency will naturally come to want to compete somewhat with them in this income earning realm. Be on guard that it does not become an idol or source of contention in your marriage. God has designed your husband to be the primary provider. You are the helpmeet. Make sure you prayerfully evaluate your motives, and whether or not it will have a positive or harmful impact on your home life and family.
Further Resources:
The ABC’s for Working from Home
Finding a Work at Home Job
Becoming a Work at Home Mom – Crystal Paine’s series
Stay tuned for part 4…
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Thank you for the good article on working from home. I appreciate it. Thank you!
This series is really good for me. It steps on my toes and pricks my conscience on so many levels. I worked before & after I was married, and after both of our daughters was born. I came home full-time in May 2008 and it has been a SERIOUS adjustment – both in schedules and attitudes. My attitude, mainly. God is speaking to me consistently about my attitude towards my husband.
Earning enough income to help support us and so many extras absolutely boosted my pride in ways that were more detrimental to my relationships than I ever dreamed. My husband supported my working outside the home, but it was my internal self-reliance and pride that drove me, and God has been patiently, although painfully, untangling the web I created.
I am thankful for the lessons I’m learning. More than anything I want to honor & please God – and after cultivating my walk with Him, serving my family and honoring my husband are some major keys to doing that.
Thank you ladies – all of you – for your comments, your input, your Scriptural reflections and edification.
Gillian & Jennifer ~
I’m in your “boat” as well: stay-at-home wife with no children. It has been a process to learn how to use my time for the glory of God. Still is a process.
But when I am faithful in the “small” things like dishes and laundry, I’ve noticed that often the Lord gives “bigger” things to fill the rest of my time, like hospitality, childcare, ministering in the church, and Bible studies. Or, often, He gives me extra time to spend with Him, or even time for research projects like herbal medicine. But if I’m not first faithful in the small things, like dishes, how can He entrust bigger things, like ministry to souls, to my care?
Recently I’ve been asking Him to “order my days” and fill the minutes with the things He wants me to do. The days usually end up full, satisfying, and significant when I turn them over to Him. I’ve been very thankful for this season of life.
Lizzykristine,
I could so relate to your whole post!! I’ve been perusing your blog and I’m sure I’ll be a regular reader there as well now.:)
Yes!
I’ve been having trouble ordering my days. I think I jump in with too many details. Some days I do okay others, I muddle through. I have been reading a lot. Most recently on soaking … which is what brought me here.
Jennifer, I don’t have children either. I am married, are you? Would you be interested in sharing ideas, encouragement etc. through e-mail? It sounds like we are in a very similar place! If you are interested maybe Lindsay could help us get each others e-mail without having to post it online.
Lindsay, Thank-you SO much for this blog. It is such an encouragement and motivator! And a great resource to help me learn how to be a good homemaker!
Yes, I’m in my second year
and in a new town.
I would LOVE to get in contact with all you gals. Please let me know how.
Shannon – I had a similar problem when I remarried – the bulk of our debt was leftover from my single mom days when I had to pay for two months’ worth of groceries, gas, etc on my credit cards because my ex-husband didn’t pay his child support one month and my employer didn’t pay me – the same month! (UGH)
I struggled a lot with guilt over that situation, but finally came to the realization that my husband much preferred having me focused on our home and serving the baby I was pregnant with at the time than he did with me battling to try to bring in income. That’s when things clicked for me and I realized that by making changes to how I spent/we spent I could save just as much as I was earning. It still didn’t completely allay my guilt, but it helped a little.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who had that issue come up!
What is the Dig? Is it a thrift store in your area or a website?
It is a used consignment store in the Portland, Oregon area. You can visit their website here.
I have really been enjoying this series. However I was wondering before children, how these ladies prepared their days? (You too!)
I am in this season and some days are just so long, and the motivation is lacking. I was raised to go out into the work force, and taught only basic homemaking skills. Do you guys have any suggestions / encouragement?
Before having children, I sought every opportunity to cultivate new skills (homeworking related), knowledge (reading books), and above all to invest in my relationship with the Lord. Find an older woman that you could learn from. Don’t be afraid to ask them to teach you in the skills you may be lacking. Children bring greater responsibility and less time for such things and thus the season prior is a great time to season your soul with a true and strong knowledge of God especially. Beyond these important things, I sought to invest time serving others. I volunteered at a local Pregnancy Resource Center and worked counseling women in unexpected pregnancies. It was a rich and fulfilling time! I looked for opportunities to invest in others through hospitality. Inviting ladies over for tea was another means. Look beyond yourself and seek opportunities to find great fulfillment and joy in the service of others. I pray the Lord would direct you to fill your time with that which is for His glory!
Jennifer,
My husband taught me a budgeting system that serves us well today, and I began learning about bulk foods shopping. I also frequently visited the sick with jars of homemade soup. I learned gardening skills, and learned to love digging in the dirt and pruning roses, as well as providing home-grown food on a limited budget! 
I also cultivated my sewing skills, by making lots of baby gifts for others (as well as curtains for our newlywed apartment)- often with items from the thrift store.
Before children, I, too, sought opportunities for learning! I learned how to prepare meals from scratch (such as dry beans and bake bread). I volunteered as an in-home helper for women in our church with new babies, which gave me wonderful hands-on experience!
At one point, we did take a “wrong turn detour” in sending me out into the workforce. Thankfully, God eventually guided my husband’s heart to allowing me to return home.
There is definitely so much you can be learning and doing for others during this time. Blessings to you as you seek God’s direction in this season.
Lindsay already has some good advice here. I just wanted to add that if you don’t already have your home organized and running smoothly, take the opportunity to do that now!
I wish I had done that before I had kids. It is so much easier to get into a cleaning schedule, have your finances and paperwork in order, get good at meal-planning, and get all those junk drawers organized when you don’t have little ones following you around and needing your full attention! 
I also was going to suggest volunteering at a pregnancy center – Lindsay beat me to it!
Blessings!
Jennifer, I also do not have children and have stayed at home for the past 6 years. I still find it hard sometimes to keep motivated during the day (especially when my husband works late). One of the things I do is make a list of everything I want to accomplish during the day. That includes any books I want to read or crafts I want to work on as well as household chores or errands. Not only does it keep me on track but I always have something to fall back on when I get sidetracked. I’ve also started baking more and making my meals from scratch. Another thing I do is every morning I ask my husband before he leaves how I can better serve him while he is at work. Sometimes he needs me to go to the bank and sometimes he just wants me to make sure his favorite shirt is washed. Knowing I am making him happy is a very big motivator for me.
I struggle sometimes though because I do not know any other women my age who stay at home and do not have children. I feel like I don’t always fit in and don’t have anyone to talk to who is in a similar situation.
Lindsay, I just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying this discussion and how much I appreciate it. It is nice to finally see women who stay at home portrayed as something wonderful and not something strange. Thank you.
Sheila,
You sound so much like me! I should have posted as a reply to Jennifer’s, but I didn’t and it got sent to the end. anyway, I would love to communicate via e-mail with you or her if you are interested! I, like you, don’t have anyone around doing what I’m doing. As I mentioned below maybe Lindsay could help us get connected without having to post our e-mails for all to see?
I would love to swap email addresses. Sometimes it’s just nice to have someone to talk to and share ideas with who is in a similiar situation.
I would love to share email addresses as well. Sorry we have been out of town and without internet or I would have responded sooner. In my local community (& church) I’m the odd woman out. Right now my biggest struggle is getting and sticking to a routine. It can be really lonely.
Lindsay if you are able to pass out my email to these gals feel free. Or if one of you wants to start a Yahoo group let us know.
Great information here. I work from home writing and blogging, and it can be quite challenging to get the work done. I have a 4 month old and a 15 month old, and I try to write early in the mornings before they wake or late at night after they are sleep. Occasionally, I can get in work while they are napping.
Despite challenges to find the time, it is definitely worth it, because I have debts to pay off, and this is my way of paying them. I do not want to work outside of the home, even part time at this season of my life. These two little people are depending on me being there for them.
I would like to hear more about your Aunty Molly who has 5 children and works from home. That’s amazing and such an inspiration. Is it possible for you to share her story?
Can I just say, “I LOVE your blog!” I am a young mom who has been married for almost five years and am pregnant with my 3rd child. I really appreciate the topics you touch on, such as this one because they are right on for where I am in this whole “homemaker” journey! You’ve given me alot of inspiration and ideas for things I would like to discuss on my blog as well. Please keep it up!
I agree that this is such an important discussion worth having. I thank you all for taking the time to discuss and share your thoughts with all of us.
Thank you for addressing this topic. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is. I was raised in a home where my mother was/is the main bread winner and I have seen first hand the impact it has had on their marriage, despite the fact they are both Christians and she is aware of its impact. They simply have become too dependent on this income to change things. For this reason (and because of strong personal convictions impressed on us by the Spirit) my husband and I have made it a priority for me to stay at home with our son. It completely changes the dynamic of a marriage, I think, and certainly keeps me humble, as a wife, to know my food and shelter is provided for me by the Lord through my husband. It creates a closeness and dependency that cannot be created when a woman is “self-sufficient”.
Thank you, Ladies, for another great post. And thank you, again, Lindsay, for hosting this very important discussion. I am encouraged to hear of single moms who have been able to stay home with their children and how God has provided. I am NOT a single mom, but I know so many who are.
I believe this is an issue of obedience and faith: obedience to God and your husband, and faith in God, not yourself, to provide what might be lacking. My own personal struggle in this was guilt over my student loans, which is the reason we are in debt. I felt as if I should be responsible for paying back this huge debt, thus I needed to go to work. However, leaving my home and children never felt right. Since then, God has clearly shown me that my mission is to be home, and that He has actually given me skills (writing, baking, sewing) that can help pay off the debt, if and when He opens the door for me to do that. I have to rely on Him, not myself, to provide.
And my first priority is my home and my little ones; praise God, what a blessed life!
After having my daughter, I went back to work for a month before it was possible for me to stay at home full-time. While I enjoyed working before my daughter was born, and had plans for graduate school, after she was born, I felt it was important that I stay at home.
I find being at home fulfilling in so many ways, and financial concerns are the primary reason I would consider earning an income again, from home or otherwise. For example, one of our concerns is that my husband’s job does not offer health insurance. When I was working, we could obtain insurance through my company, but now that I stay home, we pay over $800 a month for insurance despite being healthy, taking no medications and having no preexisting conditions.
I have looked for work in churches, and have also looked at positions offered through local nonprofit agencies. I have thought that, perhaps, I could find an administrative position that could be done part-time at home. I would ask for enough work to cover the cost of our health insurance monthly and see how they would feel about telecommuting.
I should clarify one point I just made: the full time wages/part time hours. I was paid per post I wrote, not a salary…. my point was because I was a fast typist I was able to write as much as someone working twice as long and earn as much – NOT that I was scamming the company somehow or that something like padding your hours would be okay and only doing part time work!
These are interesting ideas. I’m not a “crafty” sort, so for now I stick with writing. My contracts dried up at a time when we had a lot going on for the military and our family – proof positive to me that the Lord was saying the income-earning season had ended for a time.
For those who are good with words, freelance writing and editing can be a good source of income, either occassional, part-time, or full time. The more time you dedicate to it (getting your writing OUT there is the time consuming part – the marketing of it!) the more potential you have to earn greater amounts. But if you wish to limit the time spent on it, you can look to the field as a source of “found money” when you do sell an article or earn commissions on a monetized blog. (Which is a field of its own, these days!)
When my first husband left my daughter and I, we were a dedicated homeschooling family and I was working part-time for a homeschooling publication. After the divorce paperwork was officially filed, I received an opportunity to bump up to a full-time position. For several years I was working full time and homeschooling/providing my own child care – often while working. When that position ended I was blessed with a full time blogging opportunity – full time wages but since I’m a quick typist, part time hours.
Between that job and my child support, I made ends meet. When I remarried and got pregnant with our son, I noticed things were slowing down. It ultimately all worked out, and told me that it was no longer time to work full time on the writing, but to focus more on home.
In my field income and contracts can come and go, so I learned to make the most of it and not get discouraged when it ebbs and flows. Instead we’ve focused on getting debts paid off and doing smart shopping, so that my “income” is now figured in how much I can save my family.
I’ve been working both inside and outside the home since before I was married. I never desired to be a stay at home mother full-time. It’s just not me. We have a wonderful christian nanny who comes in and watches the youngest child 3 days a week. My other children are now in school. Nope, we don’t homeschool. That’s just not our style, our children go to a wonderful christian school, and love it.
I went to school to become a nurse right out of highschool. I worked as a nurse for years, then moved to working in an insurance company. I work as a case worker, which affords me to work at home, and for 2 days a week in the office.
My husband has NO problems with it, and for about 6 months, I was the sole income as my husband was moving from a full-time pastor to his current job as a loan officer at a bank.
The money I make now, goes into an IRA account, and savings. The IRA account is for our children’s education. The savings, is for our 8 month emergency fund. Another IRA account for our retirement. We also, take vacations w/this money too.
Altho I do work both inside and outside the home, I can still make wonderful meals for my family. I do a lot of freezer meals etc. I’ve never been a sewer, I do laundry and cleaning everyday, I shop online for my groceries etc. SO everything gets done. I’m very busy, but hey, that’s the life of a mother.