As I continue on in the True Woman Makeover Challenge focusing on Proverbs 31 and reading it every day for the next 30 days, I have been pondering verse 11:
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
Or as the New Living Translation puts it: Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.
Consider the alternative…
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)
As Nancy Leigh Demoss shares: The opposite of a virtuous woman or a woman of character is a woman “who causes shame” …she makes him feel decayed and falling apart inside. She makes him weak.
J.R. Miller in his book, Homemaking, written in the 1800′s, says, “No wife can overestimate the influence she wields over her husband…How can she make sure that her influence over her husband will be for good, that he will be a better man, more successful in his career and more happy, because she is his wife? Not by . . . perpetual preaching and lecturing on a husband’s duties and on manly character.”
UPDATE/CLARIFICATION: I can bring shame or gain to my husband and ultimately shame to the Word of God by not acting in a godly manner to my husband (Titus 2:3-5). We are equally responsible before God for our own actions and decisions as we are equally co-heirs in Christ Jesus, but I am responsible for following my role of respecting and honoring him to the extent that He honors and obeys the Word of God. My first love should be to the Lord, and out of the love and obedience to Christ should flow a desire to cause gain and enrich the life of my husband. Before criticizing him in my words or actions, I need to evaluate my own heart, and take the plank out of my own eye first (Matt. 7:5).
Nancy says again: “You want your husband to be a man of virtue, to be a noble man, a man of spiritual strength and character? Then set out, not to change him, but set out to be the kind of woman with the kind of character that you want him to have. The Scripture says that kind of woman is a crown to her husband. She blesses him. She brings out the best in him.”
Am I bringing gain or shame to my husband today in my thoughts, words and actions?