The Heavenly Work Before Me

There have been repeated times in the past few years where I have struggled with the “what if’s” of my past. What if I had continued to pursue a college degree and not gotten married so early? What if we had waited longer to have children? What if I pursued an active career? I see other couples waiting five years to have children and feel a bit of discontentment creep up in my heart because I wonder what it would have been like to have such freedom. I’ll be honest and confess that it has been a great struggle in my heart. This job of motherhood is so hard. It’s hard to get up and care for little ones when I am lacking serious sleep. It’s hard to train them with grace and patience. It’s hard to embrace their neediness with joy.

The Lord has been gently working on my heart as I am currently mediating through Ephesians 5:15-17, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

What does God have for you? I’ve found that what God desires me to embrace is often right in front of me. It’s not way out there. It’s these little hands and feet He has called me to nurture. It’s this strong man that He has called me to support, cheer on, and follow. The will of the Lord is for me is to delight in, to embrace where He has me right now. When I doubt that, I am walking foolishly. I’m mocking his plan. He has called me to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. It may not have come in my own timing, but it certainly has been His timing (Proverbs 16:9).

THIS, right HERE…is what God has assigned for me. The fullness of my womanhood is experienced in embracing these tasks with intentionality. We truly only have one life to live, it will soon be past. Only what is done for Christ will last. To walk any other way is to walk blindly, foolishly.

I’ve experienced such fear, doubt, and lack of value because I’ve focused on what this culture exalts, rather than what God truly values. What did Jesus embrace? Jesus welcome the little children (Luke 18:16). He chose the humble, the weak, and gave them beauty and value (even when his culture looked down upon them and tried to send them away).

THIS WORK…this is heavenly work. He said they were what the Kingdom was made up of. He embraced the weak…not the intelligent, educated, and religious people. Jesus said to love the little children is valuable. It is beautiful. It is His work. Even with all it’s messes and challenges. He never promised it would be easy, but He did promise that this is the work of the Kingdom, and what we do to the least of these, we do for Him (Matthew 25:40). If this is the season He has called you to, then being faithful where you are is the best use of your time.

What you do sisters in your homes has beauty and value. It was what Jesus exalted. Don’t waste another moment thinking about the past, or what you’ve given up. It’s a waste of the precious moment you have in front of you.

About Lindsay

Lindsay Edmonds is first a lover of Jesus, wife, mother of four, homemaker, and writer. She loves inspiring women around the world toward simple, natural, and intentional living for the glory of God.

115 Responses to The Heavenly Work Before Me

  1. Uliana December 14, 2012 at 1:22 am #

    Thank you so much for this post!

  2. Jessie Madanat May 22, 2012 at 4:38 am #

    So beautiful and true…. only what’s done for Christ will last…Amen.

  3. Amanda February 17, 2012 at 2:18 pm #

    Boy, can I relate to these feelings. I was married young, at 20, and we waited 3 years to have our first child which I thought was a good wait, but when I look around me, now that I am 28 there are still many friends who are waiting to have their first child while I am due soon with our 3rd! We live a very frugal lifestyle, and it’s necessary because we didn’t put our careers before having a family. It’s easy to think life would probably be easier financially if we had waited…..however, I know for us, deep down that was not God’s plan for us at all. If I had focused on my career, it would have been harder for me to walk away from that to be at home with my kids. I grew up in a family that lived very destructive lives and children were an “inconvenience” to them, and so I feel honoured to be able to show my children how much I love them by being at home with them….even when it’s hard. And as for the freedom thing, they won’t be babies/toddlers forever! :) Soon enough I know our kids will be old enough to go camping, travelling, etc. with them.

  4. Evelyn February 17, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    You have no idea how much this helped me see things in a different perspective! I felt so blessed and so much peace while i was reading this! I love being an at home mom as well but i gotta say that at times i feel just as you described, looking at the past and asking myself…what if! But you are so right, this is what God has called me to do and i shouldn’t waste my time in thinking about the past! Thank you so much! By the way i love everything you write about. Your a true woman that God has blessed with so much wisdom! Be blessed:)

  5. Lacey February 9, 2012 at 7:51 am #

    Wow – this is so great! I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I wanted more than anything to be married young and have children and God has blessed me tremendously in this area… yet, sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have gone to college and pursued a career. When I go before God with these thoughts in my heart – it puts me back in perspective and I wouldn’t trade one second of my life for the life “I could have had”. I love my husband and my unborn child more than anything on this earth. Yes, I may have days of struggle – but, what a beautiful thing God has called me to do.

  6. Lana February 8, 2012 at 11:42 am #

    This is the very thing I’ve been struggling with this week…and the very words I needed to hear. Thank you for ministering to me!

  7. Ashley February 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

    Thank you for this post. We don’t have children yet, but I struggle with similar issues. It can be difficult to live a life that seek’s God’s will, instead of those things that society says we should seek (i.e. wealth, power, etc.).

  8. Melissa February 4, 2012 at 10:57 am #

    THIS POST is why I subscribe to your blog — and why it remains only one of six that I make a point of reading every post. Thank you. It is difficult when you’re in the trenches to keep your eyes on the heavenly. Thank you. I have printed out this post and am keeping it in my binder so I can reflect on it over and over…

  9. Sarah February 2, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

    Linday, thank you for your transparency in this post. I will tell you that I also had struggled with this a few years back when I had two children (I now have 4!). I felt so alone in the struggle, as though I should be enjoying each moment of my life and motherhood. I prayed and I worked with the Lord through that difficult time and I can honestly now testify that I love being a stay at home mom and would not change that for anything! The enemy loves to breed discontentment in our hearts in order to steal away from our real purpose which is to glorify God. Keep meditating and keep praying and God will honor your heart and your love for Him through this struggle!

  10. Amy February 1, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

    Thank you, Lindsay. This is just what I needed! I have three little boys, 4, 2, and 11 months, and it is oh-so-stretching, but what privilege. Thank you for the encouragement to remember how much Jesus values the little ones, and to fully embrace His calling as His daughters, and as wives and mothers.

  11. Kristy February 1, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    What a wonderful encouragement this is! I especially appreciate your reminder of what Jesus embraced and what the Kingdom is made up of. I am one of those who was married for 5 years before conceiving and got a great start on a career. The whole time I was longing for motherhood and the opportunity to be a homemaker. I even wondered what life would have been like if I had never worked and started having children earlier, as if perhaps I had made a mistake.

    Now, I am 7 months pregnant and (because my husband and I moved) I have been at home for 4 months. I am shocked at the guilt that has crept into my mind for not working outside the house, and it only took a few months. I’ve realized Satan wants to keep us crippled from worshiping and praising God. So, I’ve resigned to remember that like you said, THIS is what God has called me to do. While I was working out of the house, I was supposed to worship God in my work. While I’m at home, I’m supposed to worship God in my work.

    Aside from all this, I’d like to tell you that your blog has been a tremendous encouragement and resource for me. Over the last couple of years, as my family has sought to live more naturally, I have enjoyed your recipes for homemade beauty products, cleaning products, and food. I also greatly appreciate your insight and advice for raising children, worshiping God daily, goal setting, blessing our husbands, and the list goes on. From thousands of miles away, God has used your humble career at home to bless me and my family.

  12. Camille February 1, 2012 at 3:00 am #

    Wow, this is so real truth. Thank you for being so transparent. It’s almost hard to accept that we can think this way sometimes. Because “free”dom is so attractive. Shedding off responsibility in the present is so desirable, but they are for reasons other than God’s Will. But, “what if” the reasons are for ministry, God has you where you are now, but,’what if’… the list goes on. To embrace the present is the only way to humbly look forward to the future. Thanks be to God!


  13. Judy January 31, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

    So true and so beautiful. It’s very beautiful when we fit into his plan.
    I raised my four children practically alone but it was the greatest thing I could ever do and has been a great blessing to see them all grow up to be such fine human beings. I’m so proud of them. To think God used me to raise four unique, wonderful people. He had to be helping me or they would not have turned out the way they did.

  14. Martha January 31, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

    I am a 52 year old mother of 4 grown children.I was a stay at home mom for 26 years and yes, I experienced those same feelings off and on. But the Lord always reminded me that raising my children to know and love Him was my highest calling. Bless all of you young moms in this very important high calling- it is indeed a privilege. And bless you Lindsay for this very important ministry you have in encouraging young( and old like me :0) )woman and mothers.

  15. Kristen January 31, 2012 at 10:25 am #

    Your post today has encouraged me. I am currently a full-time working mom of 2 little ones (4 and 2). I had always dreamed of being a SAHM when I grew up, but I now find myself the primary bread winner of our family while my husband is working to build his own business. I struggle with wanting to be with my children, not working. But I know the Lord called us to open this business and that He has blessed me with a great job that gives me the flexibility to still be a mom and support the needs of our family. It isn’t my plan, but it is God’s. Thank you for the encouragement I needed to accept and embrace His plan for us.

  16. Jamie January 30, 2012 at 6:48 pm #

    This is just what I needed today. I was looking at my 4 month old daughter and wondering if I’m doing anything that has an eternal impact. It’s easy to feel like unless I am witnessing to someone or taking care of the poor I am wasting time. But what I’m doing is valuable, especially if it’s offered up to the Lord.

  17. Rachel January 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

    What a wonderful calling we have as women. I didn’t marry until 27, so was in the work force for 10 years, and then also worked until our first baby was born 2 years later. It was a season that God wanted for me, but I’m glad not to stay in it. I’m now a mother of 4 under 6, and although life is crazy, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My husband and I are currently studying “Be Fruitful and Multiply” by Nancy Campbell, which really reinforces our blessed calling as wives and mothers with Biblical backing.

  18. Alex Keady January 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Dear Lindsay,

    I love your website and enjoy each article that is posted. I really appreciate your honesty in sharing your struggles, I’m sure I can speak on behalf of a lot of women saying that it makes us feel less alone. I can relate to this post very much, as I constantely struggle with the “what if’s”, it’s really hard at times, but I was coincidentally reading this quote just after I read your post and I thought you might appreciate it:

    “It is easy to smile at people outside your own home. It is so easy to take care of the people that you don’t know well. It is difficult to be thoughtful and kind and to smile and be loving to your own in the house day after day, especially when we are tired and in a bad temper or bad mood. We all have these moments and that is the time that Christ comes to us in a distressing disguise.” – Mother Teresa

    God bless you and help you with your struggles and in your journey of faith!


  19. Linda January 30, 2012 at 11:49 am #

    What a blessing your blog has been to me! I am about to take the jump into motherhood after being a “career woman” in a large city for the past three years. You see, I took the other route in life: went to college, got a fancy degree, and went into the business world. I chased after material wealth and glamour (in the most true sense, since I was on the buying team for a leading department store, so it was my job to stay up to date on fashion, trends and shopping.) But from the moment i entered into my career my desire for it decreased. I looked around me and saw so many beautiful women from 20 years of age to well over fifty. A mere handful were married, many were divorced and most single. Hardly any had children. Those who did saw them a mere 2-3 hours a day. I saw lonely, over-worked women fighting each other for the next promotion. I saw the years of potential motherhood slipping away while they were distracted by the next big thing in fashion and beauty. It was like someone (thank you Lord) turned on the light in a dim room and I could see what was really going on around me. It was truly tragic.I suddenly realized that I could end up like them and I was terrified. I prayed to the Lord for help. Now, three years later I am married, we are expecting our second child (the first was loss to a tragic miscarriage, Lord rest her soul) and I am about to go leave my job for good to be full time devoted mother. I have never been happier or more scared. My friends think I am nuts, as do some of our family members, for going down to one income with a boat load of student debt. But I know that I am doing what God wants me to do. And He had blessed me with a wonderfully supportive husband whom I treasure.
    I know it will be hard, adjusting to motherhood, living on less, not having the support of society in general, but I am willing to lay down my life for a truly worthy calling. In motherhood we give ourselves to become instruments of God, to create life with Him, and even when that life on earth ends (like my sweet little one before she was even born), they live on in heaven eternally. There is nothing here on earth that can compare with that. To be entrusted with not only the physical but spiritual upbringing of eternal souls made in the image of God is truly the greatest thing I will even do.
    For anyone struggling with the thought of becoming a stay at home mom, or for those who already are at home full time, may I suggest Motherhood Matters by Dorthy Pilarski? I have found that book to truly be an inspiration and to give words to all the things I have come up against in transitioning out of the work force and into the calling of a stay at home mom.

    Thank you for being so open and sharing your heart with us. You are truly an inspiration!

    God bless,


  20. BeccaM January 30, 2012 at 7:55 am #

    Thank you for the wonderful post. I am in my early twenties with a one year old that we are attempting to raise up for the glory of our God. If I ever thought this would be easy, I now know very differently! It takes so much sacrifice of myself to do this work as unto the Lord. But diligent parents will reap great rewards in the end. I have to remind myself to look at the big picture and to stay faithful. Your blog post was an encouragement to me today!

  21. Addie January 30, 2012 at 7:12 am #

    Simply beautiful reminder. Thank you.

  22. Holly January 30, 2012 at 6:01 am #

    Thank you so much for this post. You are truely a blessing. I am working full time right now while my husband finishes his Undergrad. He will start Medical School in August and i am due with our first baby in July! for the next 8 years of med school/residency we will financially extreemly tight. But i know that God is good and has made it clear that this is our path that we should take.
    I got married at 21 and am 25 now. For the last 4 years all i have wanted was to have children and stay home- not work full time. Now that what i have wanted for so long is finally close, i find i am scared I can’t do it, and think maybe i should just continue to work. I know that is not what God has for our family. This post is such a great reminder to do what you have been given with a whole heart. For the next 20 years i will be raising my family at home, if that is what God allows and it is truely what i want. And i know God will teach me to delight in everything he gives me.

  23. Marisa January 29, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    “The fullness of my womanhood is experienced in embracing these tasks with intentionality.”

    woah! DEEP. Giving me something to think about.

  24. MaySze January 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm #

    Hello Lindsey,

    I have just recently found out your blog. Since then, I have been following it.

    Thank you so much for your sharing. I’m a neonatal nurse, still single in my thirties. But I can totally understand where you are coming from. For you, what if was about having children in earlier age; for me, it’s that I’m still single but hoping to have my children one day. As a neonatal nurse, I see everyday, the struggles and pain on the mothers’ faces when they come to see their sick babies. Knowing that being a mother is the greatest and hardest task in life. I admire you to have such devotion to your kids. It is important and most importantly, you understand the calling of God in your life now. I’m encouraged and peace to see the Lord’s calling for me now as well.

    Keep on your good work! The reward is indescribable!

    God bless

  25. Nicole Auld January 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    Thank you for your honest. Yes, I have had similar thoughts, but thank you for the reminder I am right where He wants me to be in my home raising my little ones. Lindsey keep shining for HIM!

  26. Jessica January 29, 2012 at 9:59 am #

    Honesty is so refreshing. Mothers need to hear that it’s okay, scratch that NORMAL– to struggle in this calling we have. Our culture devalues it so much. Even the church culture rarely shows it the value it should.

    I’m tired of blogs that make mothering “look easy” or “soo fun and cute and frilly”. Building a family on God isn’t easy it’s the hardest thing a couple is called to do…it takes supernatural grace. Motherhood is affected by the curse. I don’t think it’s so much the pain of child birth but the labor and travail of mothering.

    Thanks so much for sharing this, because it’s encouraging to realize we’re all struggling together as Christian mama’s fighting the lies with Truth!

  27. Jessica January 29, 2012 at 6:14 am #

    There’s been many times I’ve had similar struggles, thank you for sharing this post, and reminding me to be thankful for God’s Will.

  28. Tiffany January 29, 2012 at 6:13 am #

    Very encouraging! It’s so easy for me to get discouraged in this messy season. Thank you!

  29. Camile January 29, 2012 at 4:33 am #

    Words don’t express how much I needed to “read”/”hear” that. I have been struggling with that myself. Although the Lord has not chosen to give us children yet, still being content with what he has given me to do in the here and now. This reminds me of the quote my Jim Elliot
    “Wherever you are, be all there.” God bless you!


  30. Jo January 29, 2012 at 2:09 am #

    This post is such an encouragement, thank you. Important truths that I needed to hear in this season of life.

  31. mommy January 29, 2012 at 12:40 am #

    There are days when we SAHM’s want to go to work (at least part-time just to get out) while the working mom’s yearn to be home with their children. I can’t say this for everyone but it’s true for majority. Being a christian, I am thankful that I can rely on God to lead my life and control the circumstances. I pray that he speaks to my heart and that his desires for me become mine as well.
    I’ve been told by my own parents to continue my education “just in case something happens to my husband.” This is the main reason and “logical” reason why I would go back to school BUT I am so glad that my husband is still alive to reassure me that I am doing what I am suppose to do and he has my back on it. I’ve also been told I can’t homeschool my children because I didn’t finish my degree. If a stranger told me this I wouldn’t care, but when it comes from the closest people, it really hurts.
    This week I had a doctors appointment, where I had to fill in what I did for a living. I felt embarassed to write “homemaker.” Then I felt ashamed for feeling this way. I feel in our society today, being a stay at home mom is looked down on. I noticed that popular magazines for parents are geared for “working mom’s.” It is so sad that no praise or support is given to us SAHM’s.
    We moms need to encourage each other. No everyone can be a SAHM but we need to support each other and give a pep talk to ourself to remind you why you are at home. You can be replaced at work but you can never be replaced at home.
    Lindsay I hope you catch up on your sleep. I remember being sleep deprived after my third arrived, where I would wake up 4-6 times a night for 8 months until she started to sleep through the night. Being sleep deprived brought out the worse of me, but today it’s just memories. What you are going through is temporary and it shall all pass. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  32. Catherine January 28, 2012 at 9:21 pm #

    Thanks for the reminder. I’m not a mother, but I work full-time as a nanny. I love my job, but I can relate to the nagging feelings you described.

    Also, I cited your Zuppa Tuscana soup recipe on my last blog post. Tried it earlier this month. It was so tastey!

  33. Marcy January 28, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    Thank you for this beautiful reminder!

  34. Ashley January 28, 2012 at 6:45 pm #

    Thank you so much for the article. Love it and continuously need to be reminded.

  35. Ashley January 28, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    Linsday, thank you so much for sharing. I am 25 years old, a missionary in Japan, and just this week discovered I am 5 weeks pregnant with our first child. This baby is a long-awaited gift (especially since I have a hormone disorder which makes conception difficult) but its not without fear, especially as I plan to give birth in a foreign country without my family!

    Thank you for reminding me that the work of the Lord is in the here and NOW, not in worrying about the future. My work right now is to embrace my baby, be healthy for him or her, and share my wonderful joy in this precious gift with my Japanese friends.

  36. Clara January 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm #

    Thank you for being so candid and honest…we all feel overwhelmed as mothers, wives, homemakers, caretakers, homeschoolers etc…

  37. Vanessa January 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this, especially your statement:
    “What does God have for you? I’ve found that what God desires me to embrace is often right in
    front of me.”

    In some ways, I’m on the other end of the spectrum – working full time, no children, but helping my husband through grad school. I’ve really struggled with contentment too – wishing that I could be at home more, wishing we could have children now and not continue waiting due to more schooling. But I’m seeking to follow my husband, and therefore, follow the Lord. So I too want to be joyful and thankful for the place where He has put me, not longing for something else.

  38. Lisa January 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm #

    Great encouragement!! I think most women can relate. Thanks!

  39. Renee January 28, 2012 at 4:43 pm #

    O how this spoke to my heart! I struggle with those exact things-it is almost as if I could have wrote the struggles, but most of all I thank you for going a step farther and affirming that children are heavenly work!

  40. Diana January 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    You know, God works in mysterious ways! I can’t tell you how badly I needed this. I love my babies, and my wonderful husband, but the devil will use everything he can to get our focus on what we ‘do not have’ or ‘what might have been’. I am thankful for God’s grace and His blessing through it all. I needed this! thank you!

  41. Alison January 28, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    LOVED this post! Thank you for sharing! This was beautifully written. I regret not having children sooner. I was married at 21, but didn’t have my first child until age 28. I should have started earlier! I dropped out of graduate school only 2 credits shy of my Master’s degree when I was pregnant with my first child. I never regret it. I’m so blessed to be called to be a mother and further God’s kingdom. No other work is as eternal as a stay-at-home Mom raising, training, and schooling her children! When in doubt, just read The Mission of Motherhood again for more inspiration! (and the Bible, of course ;) I have never been career-minded – just in love with learning, which is easy to do while homeschooling!

  42. Katherine K. January 28, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    I’m very inspired by this post as I am struggling with the family – career balance idea right now. I already have a bachelor’s degree, but do I go to grad school? My degree is in biology and I love the career I have been striving for, but my husband is so much more important to me and we want to start a family once he graduates in April and starts working. But the career requires a Master’s. I think I know what I want to do, which is get trained in a less demanding and more job opportunity field, but it is difficult to let go of the “career goals” mindset that has been pushed since elementary school and that I feel is expected of me by everyone except my husband and in-laws. Thank you for posting this, I greatly appreciate it.

  43. Kelly January 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    Thank you for this encouragement. I have received such a blessing from the following song based on Matt. 25:40, “whatever you do unto one of the least of these, you have done unto me.”

    I promise you will be encouraged and be able to relate. Blessings!

  44. Sara K. January 28, 2012 at 9:04 am #

    THANK YOU for writing this!! I could relate to pretty much everything you wrote!

    And you know what’s ironic? You’re asking, “What if we had waited longer to have children?” and feeling a little discontentment as you wonder what it would have been like to have such freedom…

    But here *I* am (as an older mom) asking, “What if I had gotten married earlier (like in my early 20s) and had children earlier — would I have less discontentment because I didn’t get to experience all that freedom?” Perhaps then I wouldn’t know what “freedom” I was missing…

    Your conclusion, though, is so true — that when we doubt God’s will (or frankly, gripe about it) — aren’t we essentially mocking His plan, or thinking WE could have planned it better?? WHO IS the Sovereign One anyway??!?!?!

    Oh, how I want to embrace His will and walk with Him through it JOYFULLY! :)

  45. Caitlin January 28, 2012 at 8:55 am #

    I also want to join the others who commented with gratitude for your encouraging words. I am newly married, and my husband and I found out we were expecting within the first 2 months of our marriage. The baby is due in April, and as a young wife I sometimes feel afraid of what lies ahead. I am leaving behind my career to become a full time mommy, and I occasionally doubt my decision. However I am thankful for believers such as yourself who point to the Scriptures. I know God is giving this baby to me and my husband as a gift and that I should be thankful at all times! We truly are very excited to start a family. :)

  46. Sara Ann January 28, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    New follower, love your beautiful blog! I went to a private Christian college fully believing that’s what God wanted me to do… only to get $40,000 in debt and learn later how God speaks against debt. I fully regret those years. The debt was crippling when I was a young mom and the acedemia didn’t help me parent. Instead, I had to reeducate myself on basic living skills that now help more in the professional world than my degree. I don’t regret my years at home at all. My kids now 13&10 needed me at home and are very well off because of it. I think this notion of a mom skipping college to jump into parenting should be compared to the man who skips college to start a business and builds it into a multimillion dollar company. Your attitude, your willingness to learn, and your ability to assess and meet the needs of your company (those beautiful kids) matter way more than four overpaid years spent in book learning and lectures. (hope my sentiments weren’t posted twice. my computer said the first one didn’t go through.)

  47. Sara Ann January 28, 2012 at 8:28 am #

    Just found you through my cousin… wonderful blog! You’re doing such a beautiful job with it. I think our society in general has such a skewed world view on college. I got my degree at a private Christian college…and also the debt to go with it. The debt crippled us during our just beginning years and the education contributed very little to my ability to parent. Instead, I had to reeducate myself for the real world and learn all the living skills academia never offered. Looking back, I think moms that skip the degree and jump into parenting are similar to business men that skip college and end up building multimilion $ companies. Just because you skip the degree, doesn’t mean you stopped using your intelligence. It doesn’t mean you’ve stopped learning skills you need. I wish I’d studied Dave Ramsey instead of the private Christian college. I don’t regret my time with my kids. They’re 13 & 10 now and I know I’ve done a great job with them.

  48. Audria Clarke January 28, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    This was a very encouraging post to me today as I face decisions about my part time job in light of the arrival of my second baby this coming summer. It is easy to struggle with being willing and joyful to give up work that I enjoy and worked hard to earn a degree to be able to do and also trust the Lord for the finances. Thank you, Lindsay.

  49. Trina January 28, 2012 at 7:36 am #

    Thank you SO MUCH for your honesty and willingness to open your heart for the sake of others.
    You have such a beautiful ministry through this blog and I am praising God for the encouragement I receive with each and every post!
    May God bless you and prosper you in all things!!!

  50. Traci January 28, 2012 at 6:48 am #

    thank you so much for expressing what is on all of us stay at home mama’s hearts!

  51. Nadia January 28, 2012 at 5:15 am #

    Very inspiring, it is so refreshing to see such honesty. I can’t believe how many women had the same thoughts I had when I stayed home with my children. I had a lot of outsiders telling me to go get a career so I can have more security in my finances…but something kept telling me not to.Well its 20 years later and I have no regrets staying home with my children.
    I feel so at peace with my decision…I can see the rewards from it.

  52. Melanie January 28, 2012 at 5:13 am #

    Love your post. We all struggle, I’m on the other end of the spectrum now. It took my husband and I over 3 years to get pregnant and once our firstborn was 4 months old, I was pregnant with baby #2! God is good and He prepares the way even when we can’t see it. I know where you are and those days could be so hard. Now my girls are almost 8 and 9 (and I long for those baby days sometimes again) and here I am still a stay-at-home mom, trying to figure out where to go from here. I can’t see it now (at all!) but I know God is preparing me for something. We all question, but we are all where we should be in preparation of where we are going. You are doing a most wonderful job in raising that precious family and inspiring your readers. Thank you.

  53. Angela January 28, 2012 at 4:50 am #

    Thank you for this encouragment! I needed to hear it.

  54. Marla January 28, 2012 at 4:40 am #

    I look at your what ifs and that was my life. My what ifs are your life. I struggle with the what if we married sooner, what if we didn’t wait so long to have children? I look back on those years as wasted time. Now I know that there really is no such thing if you believe in the sovereignty of God! BUT. . . what did I gain in those years? Nothing. I was able to feed my own selfishness and worldliness. Oh how I wish we would have started earlier. . .we could have more children right now! My only hope is that I can teach my children to value what God says to value. . .And to not get wrapped up in this world and the things this world treasures. Thank you so much for your beautiful post.

  55. Monica Elith January 28, 2012 at 1:51 am #

    I was reading all these comments, and find it so interesting that all of us have ‘what ifs’ – whether we married young and had children young, or waited and pursued a career, or are single and longing for marriage. It does seem that ‘the grass is always greener’! :)

    I have had quite a few ‘what ifs’ lately…it can be some tempting to dwell on them and grow more and more discontent with my husband, my location (an ex-pat far from home), the needs and demands of my one-year-old, the lack of time and freedom I have to focus on projects and causes on my heart. However – I’m reminded that God clearly led Alex and I together and has good plans for us…and that THIS is reality – dwelling on a non-existent alternate life can be nothing but unhealthy and unhelpful. Thank you for such a wonderful reminder!

  56. bobbi January 27, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    aaahh the world. I have been challenged too in wondering the what ifs. We had our first child 2 weeks before our first anniversary! eek. Now the second is coming so we will have a 14month old and newborn next month! I am blessed that the Lord gave me the time to finish nursing school so my daughter gets 2 days a week with family, and my health insurance can float my hubby while he starts his own buisness. BUT It has been the ultimate challenge to embrace the season. Raising my children is my job… loving my hubby is my task and supporting him. The world does not agree with the prioritys of Christ then Family! honestly your blog and the Word of the Lord combined with a couple other things have encouraged me to embrace where i am!
    blessings to you as your purpose of investing in our future christian leaders (our children) becomes more and more of a light and a blessing. May he give you AMAZING sleep even if its not a full night!

  57. Jen January 27, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

    I have been struggling with this too. Thank you for an honest and helpful post.

  58. Cindy January 27, 2012 at 8:50 pm #

    Hi Lindsey, I’ve written to you before and came out to your home and met with you once. I just wanted to thank you again for being so honest. I have been struggling these passed couple of days on this topic myself. Mason is my first and I love him dearly, but it’s not until you actually have a little one depending on you that you learn what it feels like. You’re tired and give, give, give of yourself constantly day in and day out. I am at prime opportunity for my enemy to ripe me into shreds. Having me feeling so discouraged and like I’m the worst mom ever. I will be keeping the verse in Ephesians that you mentioned close by to remind me of this amazing calling that God has instilled upon my life right now. I have friends who have gone through miscarriages and even still births and they’d love to be in my shoes. The Lord has used you yet again to remind me of the importance of the calling he’s made on my life and that this time should be cherished and not taken for granted. Thank you and God bless, Cindy

  59. Nicole January 27, 2012 at 8:30 pm #

    I so needed this encouragement. It is a message that keeps being presented to me. We are in a time of taking a big leap of faith….and the next move still isnt apparent…..even 6 months later. Its time for me to stop worrying about if we made a mistake or not, or what the next thing is…but to be about the business of now. Easier said then done though, eh? Thank you.

  60. Lee January 27, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

    “The fullness of my womanhood is experienced in embracing these tasks with intentionality.” Beautiful words.

  61. Gabreial January 27, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

    “THIS WORK…this is heavenly work. He said they were what the Kingdom was made up of. He embraced the weak…not the intelligent, educated, and religious people.” Amen sister. Thank you for this word of encouragement.

  62. Gretchen January 27, 2012 at 7:54 pm #

    Thank you for sharing so honestly from your heart. I needed these words of encouragement tonite.

  63. Blessed Mama January 27, 2012 at 7:44 pm #

    This is beautiful. Isn’t it hard reforming our minds from what the “world” would have us believe is truth.

  64. Cassie January 27, 2012 at 7:39 pm #

    Lindsay, I enjoy reading your blog. I am almost 40, mother of 6 and your wisdom in your 20′s blows me away. Thank you so much for your transparency and Godly wisdom that you pass on. It blesses me. I at times have looked at other women who have more “me time” for girls night outs, weekends away, pampering experiences like nail salons and massages and think the same thoughts. The Lord convicted my heart of these jealousies a few years ago and I believe he told me that this is not my season. My season of life right now is 100% for these precious children and this wonderful man. When the pitter patter of feet are gone from my house, I can go have lunch with the girls. In my heart, I know I will probably be at their homes instead wanting to hold those babies and hear that pitter patter again. :)

  65. Renee January 27, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    Thank you for your post. I think that each woman, of course, has a different road to travel. I’ve been married for 5 1/2 years and just now I feel that my husband and I are being led to start a family. We both finished our Ph.D. programs almost two years ago, and are just now getting solidified in our careers (in academia and in evaluation consulting, starting our own firm). I feel blessed to be able to read these different perspectives and to feel confident in my calling, which was not to marry early and have kids early in my marriage, but to be married while a doctoral student (at age 25) and then work together in Christ over these years to grow our marriage and our lives together. I feel blessed to have this perspective as my husband and I begin thinking and praying seriously about having a family. I feel that it has been foundational and a blessing that I didn’t cherish enough until recently.

    I believe that women can find balance with raising children *and* having a fulfilling career. It is not easy, but I’m finding that my sisters with a supportive community and network find that it is possible. I pray that every woman who visits this site seeks the Lord to discover the best path for her, and finds peace wherever she may be now. Blessings!

  66. Rachel K. January 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

    Thank you so much for this encouragement, Lindsay! As an almost-26-year old single woman, I often find myself asking “what if” questions, only they are the reverse of yours. =) Isn’t it amazing how we always appreciate better the things we don’t have? I have the career (well, a job to pay expenses) and the freedom, but every day I long for a man to serve and children to nurture. (And if it’s the Lord’s will to give those to me at some point, no doubt I’ll be remembering my single days of freedom with a little wistfulness.)

    The Lord has been teaching me the same lesson He’s been teaching you, to accept with joy and enthusiasm the work He’s put in front of me, regardless of whether it’s the work that I feel inclined to do. Thank you for sharing this and for your example of a woman who’s seeking to learn all the lessons that God has for you!

  67. Shirlee January 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

    My children are now adults. I was able to be a stay at home Mom. In 1984 I began my homeschool journey. I loved being the one who heard them read their first word . Days were sometimes difficult but I don’t regret any of the wonderful memories that I have. I now am keeping my 4 month old grandaughter and hoping I will get to teach her at home. I did want a college education. But I believe I am doing what is the will of God for my life. I love this blog. It brings so much encouragment to young mothers. Keep up the good work. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

  68. Brooke January 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    It’s such an encouragement to know that I’m not alone. I ask myself those questions often. Sometimes as we all sit around the dinner table I look around and think “Did I make a mistake? Should I have chosen a different path? Why is this my life??” But it is DOUBLY ENCOURAGING to know that God has blessed me/us with this life and I his will for me is to love and care for my family.
    Thanks for sharing this today! I’m going to be mediating on some of your shared scriptures :)

  69. Amanda January 27, 2012 at 5:48 pm #

    Thanks for writing this. I still struggle with the “what ifs”. What if I had stayed home after my first child was born? What if I hadn’t worked in a chemistry lab when i was pregnant with her? What if I followed God’s plan early on instead of following what the world expected of me? Now, as a stay-at-home-mom to five children (ages 11, 7, 5, 3, and 1), I have often questioned God’s purpose for my life. It has only been about a month since I had the revelation that I was doing God’s purpose for me and to stop looking elsewhere instead of at my family. We do indeed have a heavenly work.

  70. Carrie January 27, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    I did go to college, started my career and was married at age 29. We wanted to have kids immediately but I did not have my first until I was 1 month shy of 31. Financially I had to go back to work as a special Ed teacher but I took a year off. But summers off are amazing. My first has always thrived when she has lots of people around and lots of activity. In fact my husband and I were amazed at her immediate growth in our church daycare. She just had that personality. So balancing work and home was manageable. I had my second little girl 14 months ago and took a year off and chose to return to my job as an autistic support teacher, thinking I needed that. So I am 2 months in to returning to work and I regret it 100%. I am good at my job and I am able to help my students, my work is meaningful but it is stressful and I miss my baby. She has a different personality and although she likes school I know she would rather be home with me. My oldest would be content to live at school! So I have decided that in June I am finished juggling. I am going to be a Mom full-time. I do regret that my oldest will not spend her last year at her school full time because she loves it so much but I think she will be ok. I can not say that I look at the past and would have wanted to stay with my oldest. Basically if I loped at our finances I had no choice but for my oldest and I it worked. Now it does not.
    But really if you ever want to go back to school, you can do it when your kids are older. You can take courses online when your little ones are more independent. Children do not keep, but ambitions and dreams certainly do. Right now I am saying prayers that I survive the next few months and praying that I am brave enough to resign and start my new career.

  71. Colleen S January 27, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

    So thankful to read this! We had a honeymoon baby and another one -18 months apart. Sometimes I wonder if those 9 months of pregnancy were enough time alone… What if?

    We do live in the work before us. I’m encouraged someone else feels like I do though sometimes! And I’m also encouraged to be more diliberate with how I live each day and the life decisions we make, because consequences (joyful or not) abound. We were more of the why not or whatever sort of people. There’s wisdom to be found in intentionality and we’ve learned to see things differently. I love how God grows us.

  72. Lori January 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

    Really, really needed this today.

    Thank you.

  73. Ashley January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    This brought me to tears. Sometime guilt just grips me and I am so scared to admit that I, too, have this struggle in my own heart. There is such freedom among Christian women when we just get honest and real with each other. Thank you for doing that.

  74. mrs d January 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

    thank you! I know this in my heart and I have made a commitment to be more present in my life. I am so happy I did… It has made me such a better person, mom, wife, homemaker, etc. Thanks for the reminder.

  75. Alex January 27, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

    I smiled to myself when I read your post about “what if?”…Only, instead of – what if I pursued a college degree and what if I had kids later, etc… (I have a college degree and had a career while waiting for the man the Lord gave me to marry.) My “What if” list is more like a I wish list…I wish I had been married 8 years earlier, I wish I had my kids 7 years earlier…I feel too old for this. Then I have to remember how perfectly God planned my life and everything came together in a more wonderful way than I could have imagined…though almost a decade later than I desired. So, I want to tell you, from where I stand, God has called us to be mothers and homemakers. I grew up like many with a Mom that worked and wasn’t home where I needed her to be. I can’t express how important a mothers job is. To be there, to show your children a good example of living for the Lord, teaching about Christ, keeping a clean home and food on the table. I am now very determined to be led by the Lord and be the mother my children need. As for working outside the home, REALLY, I prayed and prayed to be able to stop working. It’s not as glamerous as you think. It’s a blessing to be supported by your husband and a blessing to have children young. The world wants you to think that a career and a degree gives you value. But God calls you to (Tutus 2) “…love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.” Truly, the Lord has a plan for each of us and that is where we are supposed to be.

    • Shelly January 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

      I started to write a lengthy comment, but Alex’s is so well-written and our perspectives so similar, I can only second everything. I have the utmost respect for beautiful, talented, young mothers like you who are mature enough to know what is most important in God’s eyes at an early age and to focus on that before all else….who devote their life to the greatest calling in the world — to raise, nurture, love and guide children. May God bless and keep you as you care for those little ones. They are such lucky children.

  76. Krystalen January 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    Thank you so much for posting this! I have struggled with the same issues! I have four children and got married young hand have wondered many times “WHAT IF”! Thank you again for listening to the Lord and doing his work!

  77. Jennifer January 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

    Thank you for posting this. I recently attended a day-long seminar on a topic that I participate in as a volunteer. I love my volunteer work, but being surrounded by professional women who do the same work for a paycheck made be begin to question my choice of motherhood as career. I have been in prayer ever since, seeking guidance on what my path should be. Was I unhappy with being at home with the children? (mine are aged 11, 8 and 3) Was this doubt coming from my not living up to what God expects of me or the world’s expectations? As I was about to fall asleep last night, a deep peace came upon me. My conclusions were exactly what you wrote. I am doing God’s work right here. There will be a season and time in my life for doing more in the world, but right now teaching my children, making a pleasant home for them and my husband and using my homemaking skills to love others is what I am supposed to do. Yes, money is tight, but there is great peace, too. Thank you for this blog and the community you have brought together here.

  78. I Live in an Antbed January 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    Wisdom, indeed! There is often a season of solitude that we are asked to walk through as He is “fleshing” out His Will in us. Knowing how vitally important your role is as wife, mother, keeper of the home, will bear such incredible fruit because of your faithful “owning of your job.” I’ve been there. We have 7 children and I cannot begin to tell you the fruit He has borne in our family, in their lives, in our lives as their parents. And now, I am able to testify of His Faithfulness that He did, indeed, know best when He called me to this path. You will, because of your faithfulness today, be given an incredible ability to influence many who are coming “down the road behind you.” I am thankful you understand the importance of what He has called you to do and to be! :)

  79. Rachel January 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

    I really appreciated this post. I am almost 24, and have been married almost two years. I am enrolled in grad school at the moment to become a counselor, and while I feel a strong call to that occupation, I have SUCH a desire to become a mom and do the very things you do every day, but it will probably be a few years. Sometimes I think it would be a blessing to become “accidentally pregnant,” because then it wouldn’t be up to me to plan and wait and fret, trying to choose the “perfect time” to start a family. I think so many of us, no matter what our situation, feel the “what-ifs” and the yearning heart that you talk about. Must be part of that humanity thing we all deal with. :) Thanks for the reminder to submit those yearnings to God and flourish in the place that He has put us!

  80. Constance January 27, 2012 at 2:50 pm #

    dear Rachel G– I hope you are not misinterpreting our comments to think we are miserable and full of regret! Personally I can say happiness is not my ultimate goal, but the joy the Lord gives me in serving Him with my gifts and desires is wonderful. There are absolutely hard days being a young newlywed mother, but there are hard days I’m sure for single ladies in school or careers also, no matter their ages. It has never been drilled into me that marrying young or having children are necessary or best, but those are choices I made that I wouldn’t hesitate a moment to make all over again! I will absolutely encourage my baby girl to do the exact same thing should God give her those desires. Every situation has its difficulties, and as you said we must trust the Lord and find joy wherever He has placed us, but there is nothing I would rather be doing with my life, and I do not know of any other occupation with such great rewards. Please know I say this most lovingly and do not wish to start a disagreement– it would just make me sad to be misunderstood in this matter. Blessings ~Connie

  81. Mac January 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    Wow. This is just what I needed today. I’ve spent this week pining for more. Wishing for a life where I had enough time and energy to enjoy the artsy, more sophisticated pleasures I loved before we started having kids. I’ve been struggling with God and with my home and children.

    I keep forgetting that the adventure God has for me is RIGHT HERE!!! In front of my face. I need to learn to be faithful in the small things.

  82. Jaymie January 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

    Well said! I gave up medical school because I knew in marrying my love, a pastor, I would never be able to stay at home with our future children with over 100k in student loans:). 11years, three kids later, it is easy to play the self pity, “what if” game … Especially on the sleep deprivation schedule. However, God is always gracious enough to open my eyes to the blessings He has bestowed upon me in my pursuit of following His will, not my will. Being a mom stretches you in so many ways, but it also disciplines you to understand so much more about God’s character, His love, holiness, patience, mercy, joy, peace…the list goes on. Enjoy each moment you embrace that little baby He has given you, childhood is much too brief to wish it away to easier times. Thank you for your encouragement!

  83. Jess January 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    Thank you so much for this post. This was extremely timely. I am exactly what you talked about in the beginning of your post. I finished my college degree, have been married for 5 years and I’m working full time. I’m also pregnant with our first child. I find myself now wondering what it would have been like if we had had children earlier. I feel like I’ve gotten a late start on motherhood. As I experience the discomforts of pregnancy I find myself wishing I had done this sooner and wondering what my life would be like now if I had children already. Your post was an excellent reminder that what the Lord has planned for us is out of our hands and should be embraced, no matter what our path. God Bless you.

    • Katie T. January 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

      My experience has been very similar to yours and now with 2 children at 33 (and Lord willing more to come), I’ve wondered what it would have been like to have had them younger. Our flesh always believes the grass is greener on the other side and the Enemy is prowling around us, tempting us to question whether God’s plan is good. But it always is and He always is.

  84. Vanessa January 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

    These words speak true even to a completely different set of circumstances. For the five and a half years we have been married we have been unable to have children – and my arms just ache to someday hold a baby. However, I have to choose to trust to see that God has a purpose in all things and that this time of “just us” and a ministry in a career is the thing that he has chosen for me now and in this time. It is my choice to embrace it and trust him and his plan. It seems to be a hard thing for us as women to trust God and embrace what he has given us now! But I KNOW he has a plan for all things!

  85. Rita January 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    Thanks for this encouraging post! I, too, have fallen into wondering what it would have been like if I hadn’t had twins when I was only 22. But I have been reminded time and time again of God’s goodness in providing this wonderful family of messes and joys for me to help raise. It is truly the most amazing thing.

  86. regina January 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    just wanted to encourage you in the Lord to continue to DELIGHT in the Lord & in doing His will. just as i studied this morning in Daniel…the Lord is giving the eternal Kingdom to Jesus Christ & to His Holy Ones. working heartily (yes with your whole heart :) ) as unto the Lord in the Kingdom of God will be more richly rewarded than we know.

  87. Beth January 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm #

    WOW!! I know I’m not the only mom who’s posted a response this way but there couldn’t have been a more well timed post. It was SO incredibly comforting to me to not only read your thoughts, but also those of the other moms in the comment section. I have been struggling with this for several months. I have 1 daughter who is 10.5 months. Call it adapting to being a mom, or something I may continue to struggle with for years but it’s been hard. I got a 4 year degree, and then went on to more schooling, 2 years, to get a teaching credential. Taught for 3 years and am now at home with my daughter. While I don’t really want to work or leave her at home with someone else, there’s that part of me that yearns to satisfy that part of me. But this was so eloquently put. God has me right where he wants me to be, and I am so blessed to be able to stay home with her. Thank you. This did my heart good!!

  88. rachel g January 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Not speaking of any particular person or situation—overall, I think the Christian community puts wayyy too much pressure on young people to hurry up and marry (rather than “burn with passion”) and then hurry up and have kids. It’s as if you can’t be happy NOT being married or NOT having children. Yes, a spouse and/or kids are blessings—no doubt. However, it’s not wrong to want a career outside the home or wait until age 30 to get married (or—gasp—never marry). It’s the age-old arguments: who is “better”—stay at home moms or working moms? Breastfeeding moms or bottle feeding moms? College grads or career-homemakers? I think you did a good job of stating what the truth is/should be: we need to find grace, joy, and blessing in our situation, whomever we are, where ever we are in our lives. And, to go along with that, I will not put my kids in a Christian environment, like I was raised in, that said marrying young and having kids early is the way to be happy, because that is not true of everyone, nor is it often wise to get married young or have kids young. Brains aren’t even fully developed until age 25!

  89. Jocelyn January 27, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    Wow, Lindsay. You just articulated so well a lot of things that I have been struggling with in my heart. Different situation. I finished my four-year degree and went on to law school. I met my husband during my last year of law school and then started my career right after graduation. We were pregnant with our first baby during my first year of work – the same week that I landed my dream job as a law school administrator. Summers off, part-time work if I wanted it to be, working with students. But, I chose to give it up to stay home with my kiddos and serve my husband and children (now 6, 4 and 1). I often think about that career in the moments when this “job” is difficult. The Lord is definitely working some things out in my heart. You just gave me some awesome starting points to work from in scripture. I love Ephesians 5:15-17 that you mentioned – making an index card of it as soon as I finish this comment :) Thanks for sharing your heart!

  90. Trina January 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

    Such a wonderful and truthfully comforting post. Eight years ago, when I was 26, my husband passed away unexpectedly at the age of 28. Our children were 5 and 7 at the time. I went from being a stay-at-home mom and homemaker one minute and anything but that the next. Over these past 8 years, I have struggled with being alone, being a single parent. All I ever wanted in life was to be married and have children and I question often as to why I can’t seem to obtain and hold on to something so simple, something that most others can. In these past 8 years I have gone to college, recieved my bachelor’s degree and master’s degree both in English and currently teach English at a university in Boston. I never would have pictured myself here years ago but, here I am. It has taken me many years to realize that I am where God needs me to be right now.

  91. Constance January 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

    Such beautiful words. I have been struggling with similar things, when I find myself focusing on what could have been instead of the blessings and responsibilites God has given me. I too grieve sometimes over not having a few years or even months with my new husband before the cares of pregnancy and then a baby (who was born 9 months and 1 day after our wedding), but when I hold her and look at her sweet face I know I wouldn’t trade her for the world. We decided to trust the Lord then, and I find myself needing to do just that again over and over now. This was a perfect reminder.

  92. Anna January 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm #

    So true and beautiful. I’m right there with you on these thoughts and feelings. I very much appreciate you putting this all into words and sharing it. It’s what I deeply believe also, but we need encouragement often! Because like you said, the culture around us is constantly trying to push another message in our face. God bless you in your life’s work!

  93. hyperactivelu January 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm #

    Thank you for writing this post. Honest and to the point. I struggle as well, often, with wanting to be somewhere else or thoughts crowd my head of the what ifs. I appreciate the reminder.

  94. Sarah G January 27, 2012 at 12:48 pm #

    Lindsay, I so appreciate your refreshing honesty and transparent writing. My own fears and insecurities about my life have been sort of opposite of yours, yet so similar. Instead of marrying early, I was single until age 27 and I “wasted” seven years in a career that I hated. It has been so easy to question all of that and wonder “what if” things had been different…

    But God has been showing me the same things that you wrote about. I’ve been married for four years now (now a stay-at-home mother to be) and we are finally expecting our first baby (I’m 31). In all my years of questioning God about my destiny and wondering what to do with my life, I realize that it’s now right in front of me, that He has led me to it, and I don’t have to worry and fret over “finding His will” anymore. His will for me is right in front of me: my home, my husband, our marriage and growing family. I’ve never felt more at peace than I do now…

    Thanks for this post and your blog in general! It’s one of a very few that I follow regularly.


  95. Beth January 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm #

    Thanks so much! I struggle with the same exact feelings. We’re expecting our fifth (my fourth, I have a 14 yr. old stepdaughter which can be a struggle in and of itself). There are so many days I wonder if it’s worth it…homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, getting the kids somewhere to get energy out (we live in town), etc., not to mention pregnancy tiredness. There are days I know that going to work would be so much easier, but my heart is at home. I love the verse you used, too, about understanding the will of the Lord. Thank you, thank you!

  96. Lacey Wilcox January 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm #

    This had great timing this week. It’s so easy to find value in anything else, rather than in truly embracing where the Lord has so graciously allowed me to be, right here, and right now. Thank you for sharing such convicting words.

  97. Michelle January 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    Amen! Thank you for being so honest. I love your blog. I can’t get enough of your blog posts.

  98. Heather January 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    Such a great message! I have been trying to see the will of God in my own life recently. And also noticing all the good that happens during the day, not just the bad :-)

  99. Nancy @Real Food Allergy Free January 27, 2012 at 11:49 am #

    Very well said, Lindsay! As a seasoned mom (my oldest is 11) I can say I still struggle with those thoughts. They visit less often as my children get older but they still creep back in. Whenever I feel resentful, I remember “Do everything as unto the Lord.” I ask the Lord to forgive me and help me. He always does.

  100. Carrie January 27, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Thanks for sharing this Lindsay. I can say that I have gone down the path that you are saying you wish you maybe did… got a 4 year degree, got a great job as a nurse… and now I’ve been married 4 1/2 years and we do not have children yet. Tlast couple years I have looked back and wished that I maybe did start having kids sooner rather than gone for education and a career outside the home, since children are truly blessings that no amount of money or “success” or recognition can get you. My husband and I are now working to pay off debt all our student loan and other credit/car debt we have acrued, even though we both work, and we now have to try to sell our house and buy/rent something cheaper so we can eventually afford for me to stay home and raise children. It’ll probably be another year at least. I’m not saying that working and having a career is a sin, but from my experience I can say that money and success leave us empty. I so long to have children to raise to know the Lord…

    So let me encourage all you stay at home mothers with kids out there to be thankful for the beautiful children and family you have. I wish I could have started a family sooner, though I do know that this is still God’s perfect plan for my life anyway. I love how God perfectly plans our lives to bring him glory and to teach each other lessons that point us back to Him. :)

  101. Melissa January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel like you were camping out in my heart when you wrote this! I have struggled so much with these same things. Your wise and honest words have ministered to me today.

  102. Mallory January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    I feel the exact same way at times. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts as I read this. I too, got married young while in college and had our first baby a few months after graduating when I was 22. It can be hard to not to think “what if” I had postponed all my responsibilities until later. Thank you for encouraging us to keep our “hand to the plow” so to speak. I needed to hear this!

  103. Crystal January 27, 2012 at 11:26 am #

    Amen and Amen! Such beautiful truth! Thank you for sharing

  104. Katie January 27, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    This spoke directly to my heart! Because of what our culture deems as successful, it can be such a struggle for me to see the beauty and value of what I do at home for my family. Thank you for being honest. Its so reassuring to know that other moms wrestle with this as well. And thank you thank you thank you for bringing truth. So strengthening and encouraging!

  105. Sabrina January 27, 2012 at 11:24 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I needed it. I think I might print it out and read it every day. I chose to leave my chosen career just before I had my son. After a 2 year stint as a Barista, I quit to stay home with my 2 littles. Now, I am pregnant with our third, and I find myself so unsettled that I am “just at home”. It is a really struggle for me right now. I see my husband struggling with work, and I keep thinking that if I just get back into the workforce, that will fix everything. The truth is, I do know that I am right where I’m supposed to be. I am home with my kids, to nurture them and teach them. I am home for my husband. I am here to provide a warm meal and a listening ear at the end of a tough day. The struggle is there all the time, but I have to keep reminding myself that right now, my family is who needs me, not the workplace. Thank you again, so much!

  106. Amy Walker January 27, 2012 at 11:23 am #

    so timely….you have no idea…thank you! :)

  107. Katie January 27, 2012 at 11:13 am #

    Thank you for your honesty. I’ve had those times as well. I grew up in a household where education was highly valued, and it was just expected that college would lead to a successful career. Early on in life, I knew that I wanted to be a mommy so badly. I was 20 when I married my husband, not quite 22 when our first child was born. Getting married and having kids early seems to be looked down upon by society, which drives discontentment for those of us who have chosen to follow where God is leading. Sometimes I have to remind myself (and others) that I truly have the best job in the world. :)

  108. Becky @ Sowing Little Seeds January 27, 2012 at 11:12 am #

    Beautiful words about the work that God has set before us, as mothers. My last post was about another blog I frequent that had a similar message. One particular passage that I found incredibly encouraging (and maybe you will also):

    —God knows the burdens you bear as a mother. If it’s Jesus you want to be more like can I encourage you with this – Jesus is in the nose wiping, dirty bum changing, the floor washing, the night time nursing, the mommy snuggles, the tears (theirs and yours). Jesus was a servant and so are you. In the day to day life of mothering you are closer to Him than you realize. You are in a holy place.—

    Thank you for the inspiring message. We all need to hear that we are not alone in our struggles and be reminded that it is all in God’s plan and we are doing important work for Him.

  109. Emily January 27, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this! I needed it SO badly today (and everyday, really)!

    I often grieve not really getting those “honeymoon” years with my husband, our first was born 10months after our wedding and 3.5 years after #1 came #4… it’s been a whirlwind of 6 years, a degree for him, 2 out of state moves 3 different jobs, etc… I also wonder if I should have gone for my degree and not just “beauty school” now that homeschooling is staring me in the face it’s a thought I have a LOT (even though I was encouraged very much to do what I did). And now that DH’s job is getting ready to change AGAIN, we lost the renter in our second house, and the bills are coming faster and faster every month I sometimes wish that I had built my business. BUT then I am reminded by my creator through posts, and other reminders like this that THIS is where I am supposed to be and HE created me and this journey I am on just for me! It is NOT easy but it’s mine and deep down I wouldn’t change a thing!!!

  110. Lisa January 27, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    It is indeed hard to remember that whatever path God has us on is one of value. It is far too easy to compare our paths to someone else’s. For example, I did go to college and begin a career before I got married. We are approaching our fourth anniversary and I am just now pregnant with our first child. I’m still working full time outside the home, as is my husband. Unless the Lord has something up His sleeve, I will continue to work full time outside the home after my maternity leave from work. I struggle with feeling as though I am not being a “good enough Christian” with this wife/mother/employee role. And yet, this is the path God has called me to. When it is time for a change, He will make it clear. The more I struggle against it and fight Him, the more I miss what He has right in front of me. I’m sure I’ll have to remind myself of that more and more when I assume the role of full-time working mom.

  111. courtney January 27, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    Wow! To say I needed to read something like this today is a bit of an understatement! We have 5 children and life can just be so exhausting sometimes. There are “those days” were I long for a 9-5, and then I feel convicted. Convicted because I have lost sight of the fact that He has me right were I need to be, and not just for my kids and my husband…but for me. It’s easy sometimes to lose sight of the eternal investment I’m making in my children. Thank you for your honesty and transperancy! I may have to read this post a few more times :)

  112. Brit January 27, 2012 at 11:03 am #

    So true. Thank you for sharing!

  113. Ellen January 27, 2012 at 11:00 am #

    Beautiful, Lindsay, thank you. Just what I needed to be reminded of today… a day when naptime couldn’t come too soon because of MY bad attitude. Taking it to the Lord.