Welcome back for part 2, with highlights from Wife Dressing by Anne Fogarty from my sister, Christa, and a few little ideas of my own! For part 1, visit here.
A General Guide to Wife Dressing
1. Compress your Wardrobe
Be relentless. If it’s out of style-makes you itch or squirm with discomfort, turns your skin sallow- can it! Sentiment may cast a rosy glow on some special piece or other, but in reality, it’s just taking up space.
With the dross and fool’s gold cleared away, the real nuggets shine. An uncluttered wardrobe gives you a working knowledge of what you have and full control over selections. I regularly (every month) clean out my closet and invariably give-away an item or two. It’s better to have fewer clothes, all wearable and each accessorized in your mind than the confusion of having three times the selection. Remember, weeding is a money saver – sell it or donate it and save on your income tax return!
2. The Jewelry Box
The best jewel box is one that is sparsely filled. Not being able to tell the forest for the trees is the chief woe of the overstuffed box. Simplicity, class. One or two fresh things is enough.
3. Excess Accessories
The Confusion of Profusion is too many scarves, belts, and other oddities. By “too many” I mean relics from the past, that are no longer in current use. If an accessory hasn’t been worn for a year, if it’s shabby, if the color is faded or doesn’t go with anything you have, if you simply cant stand to wear it…ditch it.
Here are some added thoughts and ideas from Lindsay…
4. Limit your makeup but use it!
Avoid an excess of makeup. It is appealing to a man when we look nice and attractive but they really can’t tell we are wearing gobs of makeup. My hubby told me when he can really tell I am wearing makeup, it is just too much! Your hubby may be different, but overall, men like elegance and simplicity! But he really likes when I do use it!
5. Dress nicely each and every day
Avoid frumpiness! No matter your mood, whether you are tired, or have a day full of housecleaning ahead of you. Dress nicely and use an apron, if necessary! Put on a simple skirt and a nice top, or a pair of nice jeans/slacks and a cute blouse – not those jogging pants! This will let your hubby know that you love him and want to make yourself appealing to him. My goal is after waking or showering in the morning to immediately dress, do my hair, and makeup. Keep it to 10 minutes and no more! You have many responsibilities to take care of I am sure…but 10 minutes can go a long way towards serving your hubby!
6. You are never fully dressed until you have a smile!
No matter how nicely dressed you may be, remember that without a smile you will still look unattractive. It is all about your attitude! If you are focused on serving your husband in your dressing, then it will be a joy! If you are focused on the lack of clothing in your closet or your inability to buy new clothing, then this will take away from your joy. Your husband loves to be greeted with a smile!
7. Contentment in your wardrobe
Rather than complaining to my husband about the lack of attire I have in my closet, it serves my husband to be creative and content with what I have. I can creatively mix and match my clothes for variety and fun (more on this in simplifying your wardrobe -part 2). It is a blessing to him when I display my excitement at my “new” outfit. How much better when the hubby decides it is time for me to get some new clothes?
8. Exercise and eat well
“She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” (Proverbs 31:17)
I see this as a simple challenge for all of us ladies to be exercising! Get into the habit of regular exercise to keep your body fit for the Lord’s use, but also enjoyable to your husband. Just guard against becoming overly consumed in your image. Remember your focus is your husband and him alone, beyond desiring to please the Lord! Not whatever everyone else out there will think. 2-3 times each week for 30 minute intervals will serve you just fine. It will not serve your husband for you to spend hours at the gym rather than enjoying his company!
Shopping Tip from Christa
If and when your dear husband realizes your need for a shopping trip 
, remember to dress in a shopping mood! The most important part of shopping is your frame of mind. If you go into the dressing room feeling like a mistreated heroine from a soap opera, I can guarantee nothing will look good on you. Dress to go shopping. How can you possibly see what a dress will do for you if your hair is under a hankerchief, or your face devoid of make-up? Lindsay:This happens to be the story of my life! I will learn from this one!
Clarifying Point
Above all, I encourage you to talk to your husband! Seek out his input and advice. Ask him what he likes. He very well may be easy going and not mind your appearance at all…but he also might like you to seek out his input. You might just be surprised at what you find out!
Also, remember that in seeking to serve our husbands we are ultimately glorifying the Lord! He has called us to lovingly show honor and respect to them (Eph 5), and as our appearance is just one small way we can show a little love and respect, we are also honoring our Savior!
It may take a little while for you as a complete, unique individual to emerge, but it’s all up to you and fascinating business of Wife-Dressing.
Do you have any tips to share for being a well-dressed wife?
Great post! I just bought “A Well Dressed Wife” by Anne Fogarty, because my mother-in-law has been telling me all about the gorgeous Anne Fogarty dresses she had in college. Thanks!
I completely agree with everything written in this article, and I have another piece of advice! I am in my third pregnancy and I used to have trouble finding clothing that wolud fit me well, while my body is constantly changing as I have more children….I go from not pregnant to pregnant within about 4 months. I have found that buying comfortable yet beautiful clothing is the key! Because I am pregnant most of the time I like to buy dresses that are free flowing and have a very loose waist, so that I can breath during the summer months! During the winter i like to wear long sweaters with leggings, and my husband loves that look! The key is to test the outfit in the dressing room, if it is uncomfortable in even the slightest way then you should not buy it. One thing I can’t stand is when I have on something uncomfortable and I have to cook clean and chase two young girls around in it all day, it makes my day uncomfortable! Buy in a size that is comfortable for you. You can be beautiful and comfy too- whether you’re pregnant or not!
One thing I plan to start doing- sure, wear that old tee shirt and jogging pants, or those old jeans, when you’re home alone and have a lot of cleaning to do. But before your husband comes home, take a few minutes to dress in something nicer, take your hair out of the ponytail, and so on.
My husband hates makeup, and I’m glad, because anything other than mineral foundation or tinted lip balm makes me break out like crazy. I put some of both on and I’m ready to go! He loves that I can get ready and look pretty at the same time in about 10 minutes or less.
Really enjoyed this:) I understand how hard it is, everyday is so different, some days I wake up full of energy, ready to scrub toilets and bake batches of homemade bread and muffins while slipping into something attractive but comfortable for when my hubby gets home. Then other days I just wanna stay in bed, I don’t end up showering until about midday and my two year old is running around with boogers hanging out of her nose and a saggy stinky diaper:) Its something I’ve had to pray about and work on. My problem is I too often strive for perfection and if perfection cannot be met then I give up. I see now this has set me up to fail many times! Instead, I make it my routine to at least look nice and get ready, even if I’m not going anywhere. I then do my daily rounds of pick around the house and one big chore, like cleaning one bathroom, or even one toilet! As long as SOMETHING big in the cleaning area gets done. It really helps me to keep up on the house work and makes me feel as though I’ve accomplished something. Making it a habit to take at least 10 minutes every morning to shower and put on a little make up and something comfortable yet attractive just sets the tone for the day! Getting my two year old dressed and cleaned up before breakfast helps too:) We have routine and yet there is room for changes in the plan:)
Thanks for posting this:) it really helps and it is such an encouragement:) Especially to be able to read what other women have written….love the clothes swapping idea:)
It doesn’t matter. My husband goes into a rant about how awful his day was and then plays with the kids for a little while before plopping in front of the computer or the t.v. I’m extremely thankful that he is a Christian and does love our kids, but his a.d.h.d. (which he’s on meds for) combined with job stress make me just someone who fetches him food and makes his lunch. I don’t have money anyway and he wants me to wear “office wear”. That just isn’t practical.
Dear sister, Have you considered doing the 30 day husband encouragement challenge? It may just help you see what a real blessing you can be to your husband and how God can renew your perspective in you role as a wife and mother. You are far more valuable to him than you realize. It may seem like you are just serving him food, but you are his cheerleader! Support him, encourage him, love him and see that man flourish! It sounds like you just need to find renewed perspective in your role. I would also encourage you to check out Womanly Dominion. A worthwhile read!
For the ladies on a budget, I have a suggestion. Several of my friends and I recently did a clothing swap party. Everyone brought clothes they didn’t want anymore(all different sizes and styles), and we “shopped” through each other’s piles. I was able to get rid of some clothes I hadn’t worn in ages, and pick up some really great “new” outfits for free! When everyone was finished with their “shopping”, we still had bags and bags of clothes leftover that we took to Goodwill. This was also a great way to get feedback from other ladies about what looks good and what doesn’t look so great. This idea can be extended to include accessories or home-wares, too.
I’ve never done that, but I’ve found that asking my husband what he thinks of my clothes has helped a lot. I’ve found out what he’s hated to see me in, and also what are his favorites. So, even if I just have a few shirts and bottoms in the closet, I know he likes them all.
oh, boy. am i red faced over this one. i have, over the 12 years we’ve been married, tried to get up the time and energy to look lovely for my dh, but it always goes by the wayside. there’s so little time, and it never even crosses my mind. sad, but true. and my husband is one that DOES care. he likes to see me looking nice. now that i am pregnant with our 6th child and dealing with morning (all day) sickness, i feel lucky if i can brush my teeth.
i must say in response to some other comments here, that it’s undeniable that the Bible wants us wives to be appealing to our husbands, and, to my knowledge, it says nothing about the other way around (except maybe “submit yourselves one to another”), so God is trying to tell us something about our men. if we are always waiting for our men to do something to please us, and they are always waiting for us to do something to please them–who’s going to take the first step? i say someone needs to, and not just where appearance is concerned. SO many times when i humble myself to meet my husband’s needs–even when i do not feel like it and feel he could do a little something for me–i find that he softens and starts doing things that he knows makes me happy. i am sure there are times where HE is the one that initiates the sacrifice, but even if he does not i will never be ashamed to meet my husband’s needs.
Applause! You strike the balance between the 50/50 culture (you do this and then I’ll do this) and the sometimes-overzealous women who only point to the woman’s responsibility. Both extremes bother me, and I happily echo your sentiments.
~ Heather
heather, i agree. whoever came up with 50/50 marriage was sadly mistaken. putting forth 100% to my marriage allows me to remain blameless towards the Lord in this area, and to stop looking out for my own needs all the time. i do think the same rings true for both men and women (and i believe that’s what the Bible teaches), but i’m not responsible for my husband’s 100%. i am learning to just try to be like Christ in my marriage. he loves us with no pre-conditions.
This is a very good article, I agree with most of it wholeheartedly. A wife must dress to be appealing to her husband!
The one thing I definitely disagree with is the phrase that says ‘How can you possibly see what a dress will do for you if your hair is under a hankerchief, or your face devoid of make-up?’ The reason I disagree with this is because women can look beautiful while wearing headcoverings. I have covered and still looked beautiful(according to my hubby) since I was 15 years old.
I do agree that make-up needs to be worn in the case of most women! I don’t wear eye makeup because I don’t need it, but lip gloss and lip stick- ah. They just finish the outfit!
God’s blessings!
Priscilla
I think, and I could be wrong. but the hankerchief couldd be in reference to a hankerchief some could wear to clean. Some wear aprons, some wear hankerchiefs.
I just have to make the comment that I am a stay at home mom and I dont there is any problem wearing some comfortable lounge clothes during the week. As long as you are showered, have clean clothes on and hair isnt a mess. I have two toddlers and every day i get greasy, sticky, snotty stuff on me. I wear regular outfits on weekends but during the week im all about a t-shirt, and nice lounge pants. I dont think women are the ones slacking in this department anyway. To me the men need to catch up with us caring about being in shape , and dressing nicer. When i go out in public I watch couples shopping and I notice the women with their hair done, nails done, ect. but the men often need some help with hairstyle, nose hair, outdated clothes that dont fit properly, ect. I do think it is important for women to take care of themselves, and not think it selfish to take the time to do so. But hey come on men, us ladies are visual too!
I definitely have those days as well! Some days it just doesn’t seem to come together, but overall, it might be best to look to ourselves first before judging the men. Sure they can improve their appearance at times, but maybe if we as wives seek to first start to serve our husbands in our appearance, I think the men would follow!
We should also keep in mind God naturally made men more inclined visually then women…so serving them in our appearance is more of a blessing to him then vis versa.
Maybe you could ask your husband what he would like? He may very well be fine with your lounge clothes, but he also might be blessed by some simple improvements before he comes through the door at night after work.
Blessings upon you! And thanks for sharing!
Really, I have issues with this whole topic. For starters, I”m not a stay-at-home mom. I work full time. I’m in the office three days a week, and I work from home two days a week. My husband and I make the same amount of money.
I do wear sweats and lounge pants a lot when at home. Who cares?
It’s practical. When you’re wiping noses, breastfeeding, etc., it is purely impractical to be well-dressed. At work, it’s another story, I do dress well then.
Secondly, big point here: We should care about our appearances for our own selves. For our self-esteem. For valuing ourselves as beautiful women. It is not about satisfying my husband. Dressing well when I can makes me feel better about myself, which in turn makes me a better wife. It starts with self-esteem, ladies.
I choose my clothes because it’s what I want to wear, what I feel looks good on me. And when I feel good in them, it shows. I stand taller, smile more, etc … and THAT’S what my husband cares about.
I have been reading this blog here and there–when I can and I love this topic! Since having my third child..my daily looks have gone down but these simple tips are encouraging. Thanks for the ideas to love my man..be checking in again later!
It’s no secret we feel better and perform better at work when we are dressed for success. I suppose that would work at home too!
I really love your blog, Lindsey. I do have to confess, however, that I’m really struggling with this entry. I, too, believe that it is important to serve our husbands in everything (including our appearance). I remember my mother always had herself “pulled together” for when Dad came home. However, I have seen that trying to be at the top of our game in this area at all times can give the illusion that we “have it all together.” I’ve seen, in my own church, that the women who struggle in this area (myself included) have a really hard time seeing the women who are always put together as approachable.
Case in point – my pastors wife (who I love dearly) ALWAYS has her make-up and hair done (at all hours of the day it seems)and her house is spotless. I have heard from more than one person that she is seen as unapproachable. They wouldn’t even let her come over to help clean their house when they were incredibly ill for fear of being looked down upon. I know that we all want to serve our husbands as diligently as possible, but do we really want to come off as the “perfect” housewife? I want other women in my life to know that I’m just like them: struggling to keep up with the kids, keeping the house clean, and keeping my self looking decent. I’m not trying to bash on this entry because I think looking nice for our husbands is very important. How can we expect them to continue pursuing us unless we give them something to pursue? I’m just struggling with how we can be “presentable” but “real” at the same time. Any suggestions?
Thanks for sharing Kami. You do present a valid point. My main emphasis with this post is simply desiring to serve our husbands and ultimately to honor and glorify Christ in all we do. I by no means am implying perfection…for that is impossible. I am simply calling for a renewed desire to take care of our basic appearance on a regular basis as an opportunity to show our husbands that we care…just like we did in our courtship or dating days. I do not think that taking 10 minutes on a daily basis will give others the opinion that I am a perfect housewife. Now if you are spending hours a day on your appearance, that would be a different story.
My whole mindset has often been to only make myself look decent when I knew someone was coming over or when I was preparing to go out. Then I came to realize that I was never dressing to show my husband I loved him…it was always just for others. I have been challenged to see that 10 minutes in the bathroom can make a huge difference and be a godly witness to the world that comes to my doorstep as well (for you never know when they will come either).
My house is far from perfect, but I try to maintain a basically picked up house in order again to serve my husband and be a good witness to those who may come to our home. But does it happen every day? No! Basic orderliness is a good trait to develop and it makes life a whole lot more simplified as well.
It is important to be “real” and authentic with others rather than giving a false front, but I find that this is more of a result of our love expressed in communication with others, our openness, our welcoming spirit and demeanor, rather than the outward appearance of home or personal look. Should we purposefully look sloppy because we don’t want to turn any one off? I think quite the opposite might just result.
Remember it’s all about our heart attitude and a desire to first and foremost serve our husbands rather than looking towards what others think of us. Let us do all to the glory of God!
One year ago, I decided to start getting dressed every single day. Get dressed, fix hair, and put make-up on. At first, my children would ask, “Mommy, where are we going?” when they saw me getting dressed. Now they know it’s part of my morning routine. Even before I did this, my husband would tell me how beautiful I was, but once I started making this extra effort, he got more flirtatious:-) I also felt better and had more energy when I got dressed instead of wearing comfy pajama/workout type clothing around the house all day long!
I write a blog about this very subject. My tip is – please don’t save your best for special occasions or going out – those events are few and far between for a homemaker. Give your best to your family. Add a dab of perfume and lipstick – you’ll look better and feel better too.
Compressing the wardrobe is so important. I have visited many homes that are overflowing with clothing and the laundry is never caught up. Make it a rule to deal with a bag of children’s hand me downs as soon as it enters the house. Pick a few items, stick a few old ones in the bag, and put it right in the car to go to Goodwill.
Great post topic!
My biggest struggle is keeping up with things like eyebrow plucking and leg-shaving with all the responsibilities of being a mommy. I try to make a point to do “hygiene stuff” on Saturday nights so I’m ready for church in the morning. We often watch a movie on the weekend so it’s really pretty easy to squeeze a foot soak/self-pedicure or tweezing in while I’m watching a movie if I could remember to do it! I realize that even when I’m not saying a word there are people all over town who know me or don’t know me who are watching me and I want to take care of myself because I know that I may be the only Jesus they ever see. I also want to bring honor to my calling as a stay-home mom and not just be another out-of-shape stay-at-home mom in sweats with a ragged ponytail. It also brings honor to my hubby when I strive to look nice and well kempt and he can be proud of me as a wife.
It’s true that the heart is most important and we shouldn’t be consumed with our image but we also have to realize that man does look at the appearance and often what is in our heart is reflected in how we dress.
Me too!!!
Girls! LOVELY thing for your feet! It’s the PedEgg (yes, the one from tv, I found it out Rite Aid and Bed Bath and Beyond) It’s AMAZING! I was spending so much money on pedicures, and manicures.
My tip would be wear clothes that FIT. No sloppy over sized jeans, pants, shirts etc. It looks awful and just makes you look sloppy.