“…I’ve come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routaine moments in a mother’s life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught…It’s the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts. If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant’s heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life.”
What a fresh reminder chapter 4 of Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson gave me of the importance and beauty of leading our children by first being a servant. Meditating upon the Savior (John 13), we see one who just prior to the moment of his death, is willing to minister to his disciples by washing their feet. He is the upholder of the universe and yet he kneels down and feeds, touches, and ministers to their deepest needs by not only telling them the truth but showing them personally what servant leadership is all about.
As mothers, we are called not only to teach the truth to our children but also to model loving service so that they might receive something to emulate in their own lives.
“Choosing to be a servant-mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the task of mothering – and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at the moment.”
I love the simple truth she reminds us of in that children are supposed to take up time! Far be it from me to get frustrated at my little one because she takes my time and energy. God designed her that way! If I would simply acknowledge that she will and should take up the majority of my time…life will be so much more simple! I am reminding myself right now…it’s not about me but about imidating the Savior!
In conclusion, Sally reminds us that servant leadership, especially in the midst of trials and messes, can only be accomplished through the power of the Holy Spirit! Remember your source ladies! It is walking in the Spirit and depending upon the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Press on in your mothering to the glory of God, dear sisters! Be strengthened in His Word and go forth to fight the battles for the souls of your children that together you might spend eternity in heaven!
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” - John 15:13
Did anything stand out to you in a unique way from this chapter? Please share how you were blessed or challenged!
I appreciate the comments of all here. I “stumbled across” your blog and appreciate the encouragement and perspective from fellow Christian moms!
I write this with tears of relief in my eyes. I thought I was doomed as a mother. I’m doing a bible study on the fruits of the Spirit right now. I cannot tell you how it has helped me already to properly handle the challenges that motherhood brings EVERYDAY! I’ve come to understand that I cannot do it without the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Thank you Lord for the gift of the Holy Spirit! And thank you Lindsay for taking the time to post these encouraging notes. You’re a blessing to us struggling Mamas!
Wow. That about sums up this chapter. This isn’t just a good read for mothers, this is a must read.
Here is what I found most helpful/convicting:
The reminder I am doing SUCH important work right now; in fact this might be the most important work of my life, teaching and training my young arrows. With three kids in three years you sometimes want to rush through the day til naps and rush through til bedtime. I was reminded that my job is not just nosewiper, crumb picker-upper, laundry-doer…it’s spiritual teacher and servant leader.
My behavior speaks volumes more than just my words will. As a child of a mother who would often errupt in frustration at us kids I want to make sure I end the cycle here. Although incredibly loving, the mixture of not knowing what might make her snap at someone (nothing abusive by any means; I now know it is just a self-control problem) I pray that God holds me accountable for my attitude. I see the natural tendancy towards sin when the “will” is challenged with my older two daughters and I love that my actions and the Holy Spirit’s power will be crucial to ensuring my children are raised knowing how to identify their weaknesses and seek the strength of the Lord.
(on a side note we read the bible and pray together each morning and I heard Beth Moore say that we need to pray for a DAILY outpouring of the Holy Spirit and since I’ve been doing that my days have been truly changed!)
Lastly, I loved this sentence “From time to time we get these little glimpses of the ways the Holy Spirit is working in the hearts of our children”. Fruit. I love it! It fills my heart with joy! Seeing one of my daughters mention something they forgot and seeing the other leap to their feet to run and “serve”. Hearing them play together lovingly for an hour in a separate room knowing that often it feels like they will never learn kindness…, hearing one invite the other to come with them on their special “date” night with Daddy, watching my oldest daughter write a note for our next door neighbor girl, who is Hindu, saying “God luvs you!”
Precious. I hold on to that fruit! And I praise God for it!
Like the other comments said, I was convicted in reading this. I make sure to do lots of extra stuff with my kids, but I know that I need to be more patient during the every day tasks and frustrations. If I’m going to have a fun morning of baking, playing, crafting with them, I don’t need to ruin and undo everything by being impatient in the afternoon. And it was also convicting because we sing the song that goes to the verse “Do everything without complaining” alot around here, trying to help with the whining and yet if I’m not responding to my girls properly that is a way of complaining as well, so what a mixed message I’m teaching them. It was convicting and challenging, but also a blessing just to go to God and ask for help in these areas and to be aware of them now while my girls are so young.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to post this. I am very touched. I also got frustrated at my child yesterday. I am learning to be better about that, but I know that each time that happens, you cannot get it back. Oh yes, your child will forgive you, but it is still hurtful. I do want to be a better “servant” of the Lord, and not to forget that this IS what I am supposed to be doing. It is not in how much I do at church or in the community that counts. It is not how much time I get on the phone or how many bubbles are in my bath. It IS about serving Christ and the position that He put me in. Sometimes I think to myself, what am I doing here? God is the one who paired me with my husband. He is also the one who gave me this child. Not another. This one.
I so appreciate your blog. You are encouraging and inspiring. I am glad to see God raising up younger women who have a wise heart for the Lord and their families. You do the Kingdom proud!! I know you must be very special to God.
You know I have not read this book but the quote at the begining of your post pierced my heart… this has been a rough day, my husband has been out of town for 3 weeks now and I blew up at my boys this morning…. so much for responding with patience and love in everyday moments.
OK I’ll quit whining now.
I am hoping to find a copy of this book soon. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for these posts on Motherhood. I have been convicted deep in myself today! I am a new mom (my daughter is 8 months old) and I have been looking at mothering all wrong. I’ve been mourning the freedom that I lost instead of looking at my baby as a spiritual being who needs me. Thank you for this challenge. I am buying this book today!
I can relate to your phrase about mourning lost freedom. I am a mom to 3 children ages 5, 7, and 10.
After so many years of mothering, it gets easier and easier to long for more freedom as well as to become impatient with the kids when they act less independant than I believe they should. It’s hard to find a good balance between making them do something they should be able to do themselves, and to take the time to reach out to them with a servant’s heart.
May the Lord help us both to have a servant’s heart toward our children.
Don’t be discouraged Jaime! I think we all had a hard time with our first child adjusting. It does take a complete change of heart simply because up to this point you’ve only had you and your hubby to worry about. He’s pretty self-sufficient I’m sure. So to go from that to having a being that is COMPLETELY dependent on you IS a shock to our selfish systems. But don’t forget that God’s power and wisdom is one prayer away. Be thankful you’re doing something about it now and not 20 years down the road when it’s too late! It really does get easier with each child. You simply adjust with the good Lord’s help! God bless you. You’re a good mother I’m sure!
This sure convicts me, as an older sister. If I can only remember that patience is a fruit of the Spirit, which I am supposed to show every day! I’m thankful God is patient.