This is an article written to participate in the Modesty Carnival hosted by my sister, Christa Taylor.
I was 18 years old, freshly graduated from highschool, had just seen my older brother and one of my closest friends get married to another close girlfriend of mine, and I was off. Off to Cambodia to spend two months on my own! I was unprepared for all the Lord took me through that summer as I served alongside Warm Blankets and Children of Promise in reaching out to the significant population of orphans and widows ravaged by wars, landmines, and communism.
I saw thousands of sick and hurting individuals come through medical clinics and hear the truth of the gospel, I witnessed thousands come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I observed thousands of orphan children passionately worship the Lord amidst the wonderful families that had been established for them with widows as mothers and the pastors of the church as fathers. They are being raised to change their nation and they are determined!
That summer opened my eyes to the amazing needs around the world, and increased my furvancy to serve and see Christ’s name exalted in the nations. This time alone apart from the close knit relationships in my family was a trial I confess. I was stretched beyond all that I could ever have imagined. But this opportunity led me to draw nearer to my Savior more than I had ever done in the past. My relationship with the Lord grew in leaps and bounds as I realized that I was desperate and completely incapable of accomplishing anything on my own ability.
Beyond all these changes that took place in my life, one small thing stood out significantly that changed my wardrobe. Dispite the intense heat of this southwest Asian country, it was requested that I only bring capri’s, skirts and pants, and t-shirts (no tanks, strapless, spaghetti strap and the like) for my attire. The Cambodians hold to high standards of keeping the knees covered. While we traveled about through the main cities of Phnom Pehn and Siem Riep, where many tourists would visit, I was struck by how the Cambodian girls would respond to a western woman walking the streets. Looking over their shoulders I would see a very modernly dressed women with shorts and a tank top of some sort. I came to the realization by their responses that these Western women were seen to the Cambodians as dressing like prostitutes and calling out “available” to anyone who passed them by. It was just implied that way in their culture and thus to respect their cultural standards, I was to keep my knees covered.
My sister, Christa and I on my second visit to Cambodia
I have grown up with pretty modest convictions as to my dress, as my heartfelt desire was to honor the Lord by not exposing areas of my body that were only appropriate for my husband to see in the future. I felt strongly that I wanted to serve my brothers and sisters by drawing all attention to my face and the joy of the Lord that I hoped to radiate there, rather than be attracted to my physical appearance.
Obviously there is very different cultural standards from Cambodia to America and those women wouldn’t have been viewed in that light over here…but it still impacted me. If I could stand the heat and wear capri’s all summer long in Cambodia, why not here in America too? I by no means am implying that shorts and t-tanks tops are totally wrong…the standards of modesty often differ from woman to woman, but it is a matter of the heart. I was convicted that I would never want my attire to imply an incorrect message to someone from a different culture. Nor would I desire for another to stumble because of my appearance. I want to glorify God in all that I wear!
Thus the result has been that I went home and rid my closet of shorts and decided to stay with my capri’s and that is the way it has continued to this day, over 5 years later. It is amazing how one mission trip can impact so many different areas of your life…
Hello, I know this is late in posting but I as I read this I found it interesting. My husband and I are missionaries. We teach and practice that ladies wear skirts and dresses that cover the knee only. How long ago was it when only that was acceptable in society? We do not wear shirts that the sleeves are above our elbows – not posting this in a proud boasting manner at all. Please do not take it as such. We teach that out men wear only long pants and shirts past the elbow. Men think women are lovely in skirts and look beautiful when dressed modestly. There is a book, The Public Undressing of America, I forgot who the author is that totally changed my perspective on modesty. It is a short read but it convicted me to the heart. I have no connections to the author and as far as I know we do not share the same “religion” so to say – but his research and writing I think were inspired by the Spirit of God. BTW I’m not an “old fogie” lol I’m 24 and love the way we live. It’s liberating Biblical and Modest. I do not have to worry if I’m enticing some other man other than my husband because of the way I dress – I personally will not wear anything and inch lower than my neck line. Simply because the way I choose to dress is a worship unto God. If God could come down to earth and “the Word became flesh” as found in John chapter 1, to die for me, is it really too hard for me to worship Him in all that I do including my dress? Just my thoughts on this subject. Gracefully, Lori
I didn’t know this about Cambodia. My cousins serve in Thailand and I should ask them about this there. I have 5.5 yo identical twin daughters and we have let them wear shorts in the past, but this summer we realized exactly how cute they look in them like mini teens. We are now going to use pedal pushers/cropped pants as well. We live where it does reach 100-110* in the summer so coolness is a necessity. I had been wondering about knees with dresses and where a hemline should stop (without getting legalistic about it, but just for my own girls’ safety sake). I have been making a lot of clothes for them from Japanese books and vintage sewing patterns because there are more interesting and more modest choices, but many vintage ones are quite short (remember Shirley Temple’s dresses – I have shirts longer than that!). I had recently decided that just below the knee would be okay but not above, when I read your post. I want them to be pretty and fashionable within reason without giving cause to question or endanger their purity, which is a precious gift from God. Thanks for the perspective.
Wow, that is a very humbling and surprising story. I did not know the extent of cultural differences there are according to modesty. Thank you for this eye opening post.
God Bless!
Hi Lindsay,
First of all, thank you for this post! I found if *very* insightful and up-building. However, I did want to encourage you in one aspect if I could. As you mentioned one of our goals in modest dressing is to draw attention to our face and not our body. While many sleeveless shirts can be “modest” as in decently covering you up, I have noticed that whenever I see a woman in a sleeveless top my eyes are drawn to the shoulder area. It’s like I have to see just “how much” I can see. Is the arm-hole large enough to expose that which should not be seen?
I’m sorry to be so blunt, and I hope this is not offensive to you. But I am a woman, so I have to wonder what it does to a man.
God bless you dear sister!
I heartily agree with you Katie. I appreciate you sharing this point. I definitely think it is a challenge to keep things hidden with this type of shirt as well, unless they are very tight and then you have other issues to deal with (enlarged view and shaping of the chest area, etc). When I used to wear them I was always struggling with keeping my bra straps from slipping off of the shoulders.
I assume you are bringing up sleeveless tops due to the picture of my sister and I. To clarify, I was actually in my bathing suit at the time and this was just a simple sleeveless shirt I wear over it when swimming. I should have included that sleeveless tops were also included in the list that they requested us not to wear for our trip as well.
I would love to hear more about your Cambodia trip on your blog. The Lord put a love for missions in my heart when I was a little girl and I even wanted to adopt an oriental baby. As the Lord would have it I met my husband on a mission trip to the Philippines and he allowed me to have my own girls — Marina Kaye and Mylene Karis. What a mighty God we serve!!!
And I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since you went to Cambodia, back at the time when everyone but you realized that Aaron was very interested in you
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Hey Lindsay,
Thanks for sharing that story! I have really been bothered lately by how many ladies show cleavage even in my own (conservative) church. Do you have any thoughts about that specific issue?
Well, I believe as sisters in Christ we should feel at liberty to graciously approach each other if we are concerned about the other’s attire. I think it can be done in a God-glorifying manner, as I have practiced in the past. I definitely consider exposure of cleavage to be inappropriate as it often will lead our brother’s thoughts, knowing by my discussions with my husband, to what might be below.
Beautiful and gracious post, Lindsay. Thanks for sharing about your personal story. A few years ago, Joel and I decided to start having me wear “long shorts” and such more. They don’t usually cover my knees, but they cover so much more than even “modest” shorter shorts. We don’t think it’s wrong to wear the shorter ones, we just think it’s better (for me) to wear the longer ones.