Welcome back for part two on our discussion about the why’s and how’s of including children in church. If you missed part 1, read it here.
Training my little ones to sit with us during the church service definitely takes some work. Sometimes I only get to hear small snippets of the sermon. But this has motivated me to be more purposeful during the week and listen to the weekly sermon or download various podcasts to encourage and strengthen my faith (Revive Our Hearts is my favorite!). Aaron and I try to watch a sermon together (Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill Church offers video feed) while the kids are in bed or napping some other time during the week. Currently our church service is in the afternoon, so we do this on Sunday mornings. This gives us time alone to really focus on the Word and discuss it together. This allows us to continue to grow in our faith even if we can’t get the whole sermon on Sunday. We realize that it can be a sacrifice, but it is worth it!
1. Begin at home. Training my children to sit with the church service always begins at home. We started with small increments of time sitting quietly and listening to a sermon. We would let Karis look at a book while we listened together. If she refused to sit still, discipline was in order. We began with just ten minutes and worked up from there. When we have family devotions, we have Karis look at a little picture Bible while we read together. This is practice time as well. We started this process around 1 year of age after she stopped napping during the sermon.
2. Train baby to nap during sermon. I always try to time the baby’s nap to take place during the sermon time. I will either bring a pack n play and lay the baby down in a back room or bring a baby carrier (my favorite moby or Ergo) and rock them to sleep in the back of the sanctuary. This way I can listen to the sermon with a sleeping baby. I know of others who have trained their babies to just sleep in a stroller, car seat, or on the pew next to them during this time as well.
3. Bring a snack. We like to bring raisins and nuts with us in a small baggy for a quick protein snack during the service.
4. Don’t push it. Give your children room to be kids! We require Karis to worship with us during the worship services and then sit quietly with us for 30 minutes of the sermon. At 2 1/2 years old, I don’t really feel it is necessary to push it longer than that (others may have varying opinions). After 30 minutes or so when she starts getting restless, we take her to the back and let her quietly walk around in the back of the sanctuary or lobby and occasionally play with some of the other little children that also may be present there. As she gets older, we will stretch the amount of time she is to sit with us.
5. Bring 1-2 simple activities. We usually bring an etch-a-sketch with us to church. No mess and it allows Karis to draw a bit during the sermon. We usually have a mix of sitting quietly and then doing some coloring/drawing. Our church also offers a coloring page that is related to the sermon for some of the older children to use. There have fill in the blank questions and cross word puzzles that correspond with the sermon as well. This helps the children listen carefully for the answers. (If your church does not offer something like this, talk to the leadership and see if it is something that could be developed). Growing up, my mom would keep a special church bag for the little ones. It was a small plastic manila folder container that had a elastic strap that kept all the contents in. It contained a bag of coloring pencils, a coloring book, and a few other small items. Each of the younger children had their own special container and we would just keep them in the car throughout the week.
6. Be willing to ask for help. We are blessed to attend services with extended family and they are always willing to hold a child if needed, but there are often older ladies or young single gals who would love to hold a baby for awhile. Don’t be afraid to ask for an extra helping hand. If the child needs discipline, carry them to a quiet place to discipline or talk with them.
Now for some tips from the other ladies on our panel…
Julie, mother of 7 boys, shares:
1. Speak to your children on Saturday night about how excited you are to go to church in the morning and remind them of what you expect and how they need to be ready to enjoy church with the rest of the family.
2. Sit closer to the front which can keep their attention longer. Keep their attention forward by pointing out the people who are a part of leading worship, preaching the sermon, serving communion, etc.
3. Hold little ones up so they can see the words and hear your voice singing. Smile so they equate worship with joy.
4. Take them around with you to greet others to shake hands or ask names.
5. During the message:
Babies- train them to nap either in a pack, play pen, seat, at the breast or laying on the floor or seat next to you.
Toddlers- put between Dad and Mom with some room to move around. Bring out a snack that’s easy to clean up and takes a long time to eat (cheerios, bits of bread, etc.). Looking at books is a good activity, drawing with crayon on a tablet, etc. Keeping tight boundaries will pay off in time.
Pre-school-keep a church bag packed to grab and go on Sunday mornings, colored pencils, tablet, magnetic board, small felt board with bible story pieces, small puzzles, activity and picture books, one small toy.
School age- have them read the letters or words on the screen or in the sermon notes, if your church offers such materials (how many times do you see the letter “e”, how many times do you see the name “Jesus”?). Draw pictures to illustrate sermon or take notes. Ask what they heard or enjoyed about the message.
6. After church, reward them with words of praise or other ways to reinforce good behavior. Give lots of approving smiles.
7. Be patient with the process. Remember that God gave us our children to help us grow up. Ask God for continued wisdom in this area. Effectively affecting your children for the sake of the gospel and for generations to come, takes time.
8. If discipline is needed, have dad do the honors. It’s the best bang for your buck.
Amy, mother of 3 little ones, shares:
-We have not always been consistent in this, but I believe having a family worship time in the evenings at home is the best way to train the little ones to sit still. If the primary training ground is at church, it will be much more difficult and disruptive. If from a young age the child has been in the habit of having to sit still at home, the transition to doing that in church will be much easier.
-For a toddler who is a bit older and not used to having to sit still, we’ve started small as we’ve trained them. While at home, require the child to sit still in Mom or Dad’s lap every day for five minutes, then gradually increase the time.
-We want our children to be able to sit in Mom or Dad’s lap without toys for a little while as sometimes toys can cause the child to be too loud. However, we also want to make the experience as pleasant for the child as we can, so we try to bring things they can quietly occupy themselves with, if possible. Currently Natalie is 4 1/2 years old and Caden is 2 1/2. What is working for us right now is to keep two ziplocks of colored pencils and some paper at the bottom of our diaper bag (then I don’t have to remember to put them in every Sunday morning!). My husband and I sit next to each other, with a child on the outside of each of us. Keeping the kids separate helps them play quieter and eliminates fighting.
-If a child is being disruptive, we do not take them out and stand in the foyer for the duration of the service. We’ve realized that doing so trains them to misbehave- “if I am bad, Mommy will take me out and let me play!” We take them out and discipline accordingly, then go back and sit down.
Autumn, mother of two, shares:
Some idea’s I have used; a clipboard with a pocket for coloring books and crayons that is kept in the car for church. Small bag of bible books and misc. toys that are only church toys (not played with any other time). Simplicity is important though, the more intricate the toy the more pieces to pick up after church.
Read Scarlett’s (mother of seven little ones) thoughts and tips on this topic here.
Thus concludes our discussion on this topic. I hope it was a blessing and encouragement to you.
We would love to hear any tips you have to share on training children to sit quietly?
Obviously coming several years late on this! I appreciate these articles. It is a tough issue for me. Honestly, it seems like by giving our kids toys and coloring books in the service it is still teaching them that church is boring and they need to be entertained. But not sure how else to keep them in the service- I know our sermons can go for an hour and fifteen minutes.
I do love the idea of children being a part of the worship service and seeing parents and others worship. Our church does have excellent leaders and teachers in the children’s ministry (and one thing bothered me, if the children’s workers are strangers to you, get to know them! They are part of your church family and would probably love to be invested in by your family!)
Not sure where I will end up on this! Currently my 2 year old is in children’s ministry for the sermon.
Just found you, and I am enjoying the read.
A couple of thoughts about training children to sit through worship services, my qualifications being the mother of seven children from 11 to 13 months (including twins) who all sit through 1 1/2 – 2 hour Sunday morning service.
1. Most congregations either baptize children or have “baby dedication” days. On these occasions, the congregation agrees to help the parents in the raising of their children. Being patient and ignoring the noises of little ones is one very practical way to fulfill that vow. (I’m not talking about a toddler screaming here, but the inevitable cooing of babies, occasional rustle of paper, etc)
2. I “church-trained” my twins when they were about 13 months old. Before that time I would take them up to our cry room and let them roam. At 13 months I made them sit on my lap. Oh, my. It was like wrestling an alligator, but louder. Very hard, but it only took about 3 weeks to see a BIG difference in their ability to stay longer in the service. It is hard, but it can be done.
3. When our boys were a little younger and I had a three year break from babies, I would draw pictures to explain what was happening in the sermon. I would draw and whisper to them what it was about. Once they can read no whispering is necessary. I got really good at drawing Jewish men in robes! (I got this idea from Edith Schaeffer’s Hidden Art of Homemaking)
4. Although props such as toys and books and food make it easier in the short run, I would advise people to use them sparingly and only when necessary. Our children that have done without these props do better faster.
5. Expect a rough time from about 8 months to 14 months, when babies seem to be more alert, talkative, and wiggly. They can easily be trained after that time, especially when you’ve been patiently working with them since birth. After 2, it is harder, but not impossible, to train. This based on our experience only–others may not agree.
God bless you!
Jennifer
FBCW.og has great on demand messages
Lindsey, I appreciate so much your desire to incorporate your children into your worship and meeting time time. My family used to be a part of a traditional church but have been meeting with other believers in our home for several years now. When we first started meeting in homes we did things exactly the way we had been raised in traditional church. Children were in another room so that the adults could focus and enjoy some lively discussion without interruption. They had their own story time and worship time separate from us. During this time we attended a house church conference that offered a session about childrens’ place in the body of Christ. It was eye-opening and very convicting for me. I realized that I had been treating my children as a nuisance and had been losing out on a huge blessing! We have since started incorporating our children into everything we do. They LOVE the worship time and know all the songs by heart. We encourage them to request songs they know and love as well as to learn new ones. They bless us all with their dancing and total abandon in the joy of the Lord. They love to share prayer requests for friends and family, and often lead our group in prayer for the hurting and needy. They take turns reading scriptures the Lord has been speaking to them through and share Bible stories they are learning with their families. They LOVE watching each other get baptized and celebrating afterwards with a meal. They LOVE celebrating the Lord’s supper and feel free to ask questions about things that are unclear. I have been infinately blessed and challenged by having my children with me during our meeting times. I feel that our churches may be teaching us that children are a distraction rather than a blessing. Could it be that their input is just as important as ours? Thank you for your heart to love and raise your children in a Godly way.
Blessings,
Kristi
I should add that this doesn’t negate our parental responsibility. We homeschool, do nightly devotions with our kids and daily prayer. By allowing our children to sit through a half an hour of children’s church when they are 5 and under or nursery as infants, we are not trying to thrust our parental responsibilities on others. All of our church workers are fingerprinted, and it’s a small-enough church that we know everyone well and trust the people who are teaching our kids.
Because our service is usually 1.5 hours long, I keep the kids with me for singing and then take my sons to the nursery and daughter to children’s church. She always learns so much more about the Bible in children’s church. I have wrestled with wanting to do the family-integrated thing but not being able to and now have come to a happy conclusion. Because my husband runs sound most Sundays and can’t help me with children, I’m comfortable doing what I do and our church even has little tote bags with Bible coloring books that kids can grab for coloring in during church. There are also Treasure Seeker notebooks for the older kids which have pages helping them fill-in-the-blanks about the sermon and if they complete them they can earn a candy bar. One of the gals at church goes through them weekly, checking them, re-filling with pages, etc.
At times I have wondered if the family-integrated thing is better than the way our church does it, but then I think of all of the unsaved folks that come, and the haggard moms and dads who are desperate to hear a message and many who are new believers. Knowing their children are in a safe, fun place is such a blessing to them. The few parents who do decide to keep their kids with them don’t get much out of the sermon and their kids can be a major distraction to those around them.
There are also lots of kids that come without parents, whether because grandparents bring them, or kids from the reservation, etc. So, the way we have it set up is not to “separate” families but to reach out to the kids God has brought to our church who may not have families to sit with.
With my own daughter, I’ve noticed that she retains more of the info when it is presented in a way designed for children. She gets really excited about crafts and stories in children’s church but is bored-to-tears by sitting through a long sermon. At my parent’s church the kids must sit for about 3.5-4 hours straight! It’s a great church but that’s one of the reasons we don’t attend there!
I also have never figured out how to have a quiet baby. I am related to some so I know they exist but none of my babies would be quiet, no matter how many snacks and toys I brought along. They would screech, try to giggle, babble and try to smile at the people around me, distracting them. They are so much happier being able to play with toys in the nursery rather than being hushed and forced to sit in one postition for lengthy periods of time. Our church service falls right during morning naptime so this was part of the problem.
All of this to say that God works through churches that do it either way. And moms have so much to think about and do that I don’t think they should feel bad at all if they utelize a church nursery or children’s church program. I appreciate your posts greatly, but I also don’t feel bad about putting kids in nursery or Children’s Church.
This is such a blessing to my heart! You are an “older” woman to some (I know you are not OLD…but I think you get my meaning)…and you are fulfilling your God-given role to encourage the younger women in these things.
We kept our children in church with us from infancy…there was no option for anything past the nursery stage…and I was nursing, so there you go!
Your diligence will pay off…it sounds to me like you are going about it in a wise and reasonable way.
Remember the children of Israel worshipped together as families…that always impressed me with how we are to do things.
Blessings,
Camille
I so appreciate parents who sacrifice their time and patience to train their children to behave in church. We all know how distracting unruly little ones can be in a worship service. And what is it with parents who believe their kids when they tell them they have to pee every 10 minutes! : ) We have always kept our girls in with us during praise and worship. This has been a great way to ease them into sitting in church. Obviously, singing, special music, and offering create enough interest to keep them from fidgeting. In our family, we feel that the children get much more out of children’s church than they do being forced to sit and be quiet in “grown up” church. My husband and I appreciate it too. We can have 45 minutes to hold hands uninterrupted soaking in the Word of God! What a blessing! It’s so fun to “debrief” them on the way home from church and hear what they learned. Unfortunately we only have the space for kids through age 4, so they join us during the sermon after that. Usually by this age, they can pick up a few things out of the sermon, but have their little quiet toys to play with if it gets too long. We also have them take “notes”; one point learned per grade of school. They better be listening good by the time they are in 12th grade! I’m so thankful that you are all so passionate about training your children to live for the Lord! God bless you!
This post came at a good time. Like one of your previous commenters, I am a Catholic, and having children with us in church is part of our culture. It is challenging for me because my husband doesn’t attend church and I have three little ones (6, 4, 1) and a new baby on the way. We have a designated room where children can be a part of the service but not disturb anyone with noise (the quiet room). It is nice, but often there is less involvement in the service and more eating cheerios and running around, so I try to keep my little ones in the sanctuary with me, at least for part of the time. Your suggestions were good, and made me feel better. Thank you.
Just found your blog and Love It! Will be adding you to my blog list for daily reads!
We have quite a few different activities to choose from to bring to church, and we usually only pick a couple each week to bring and rotate them accordingly so Princess doesn’t get bored. These include a coloring book and crayons, plenty of books, board puzzles, a baby doll with clothes and a bottle (and whatever other baby items we grab), a memory card game, some play doh (and a large cutting board to keep the play doh on so it’s not so messy), and some wooden beads and shoelaces to make necklaces. Of course, some of these require close supervision, and a couple require help (depending on age), but it helps to train them to be quiet during the service.
Our family lives overseas. So, our church experience is a bit different from that in the states. Our services last anywhere from 2-3 hours. We also sit on the floor in a pretty small room. My son just turned 1 year old. I want to have healthy expectations for him while we are in church. He does fine for the first hour, but after that we have to go outside. Some of our problems include talking/babbling quite loudly and wanting to roam around. What are your thoughts on appropriate disciple and expectations in this situation?
Wow! 2-3 hours is hard for me to sit through.
Like I said, I only make my daughter sit through 30 minutes or so, so it sounds like you are doing great for getting him to sit one hour. Can you bring any quiet activities for after that first hour? If a child is being obviously disobedient when we have instructed her to be quiet, we will take them out to a quiet place and give them a quick spanking if necessary. Talking and babbling is quite natural for a one year old. Just be patient. He will settle down. That first year and a half was the hardest for us as well. They just love to talk and are not necessarily being rebellious. They are learning to explore with their little voices. Do you have to go outside? Is there any room in the back to let him wander around a bit? Hope that helps! Keep up the good fight…it will get easier as you are faithful.
I love these two posts. It is something my family has been talking about lately. My children are 12 & 9 and do a great job of paying attention at church. We have never attended a church with nursery or childcare during services and we have an education hour following services. We opt to attend our church’s early service at 8am and the kids have done well with that. When they were babies it was a good time to nap for them, as you mentioned.
I do remember the tough years too, when it felt like my children had been swapped out for busy monkeys somewhere on the ride to church. Thankfully those phases didn’t last long. We always talked to the kids on the way about what we expected for behavior, packed a small easy snack and had an activity bag. We held off on offering anything until at least 20 minutes into the service. So many times we’ve seen other children dig into all the “church-only” goodies as soon as sat down and were done with it all by the end of the first hymn. I would also whisper in my kids’ ears what was next so they could understand the order of service. As far as toys go we would pack a book or two, some paper and crayons and some other small toy they could play with quietly. The rule was that it had to be played with close to them and quietly, the pew back was the height limit. They knew if they started waving their toys in the air I would swipe them right out of the air before they knew what had happened and they would not get them back until we were home. Children learn limits quickly when there is consistency and while everyone, children included, have an off day now and then, most children can sit through a service fairly well.
At early service there are few children, less than a dozen usually. This makes for a peaceful time and those children rarely are disruptive. I wonder if it is because there aren’t any kids acting out. At the later service there are a LOT of children. Some of them sit well and parents are attentive to helping them learn to enjoy the service. Many of the parents are not paying any attention to their children and only concentrating on the service. I have actually seen children migrate to other pews and laying upside down on pews. One little girl, about 3 years old, crawled under a couple pews and start digging in another woman’s purse. Even my children can’t believe it when we see this behavior…they’ve told us that while they don’t like leaving home at 7:30 am on Sundays, they like the early service better as it isn’t so distracting.
I know I’ve rambled on…thank you again for another super post.
This was a very interesting series. Thank you so much for posting it! It really made me think about this topic in a way that I haven’t before. I wanted to write a comment because most of the commenters agree with you and have the same view as you.
We attended a church for about 4 years (just recently left to plant a new church) with great children’s ministry, but there would always be some who brought their children into service with them. I do not have a problem with children being in the service, but I do have a problem with the way children are handled and expected to behave during the service. I have been in many services where children in the service were so distracting – whether because a squirmy baby was being handed back and forth along a row of people throughout the sermon, or a baby was given a rattle to play with, or a toddler was talking loudly to their parents, or a baby was allowed to cry without being taken out, or a school-age child was playing their hand held video game. Those things are not only distracting, they are disrespectful – to the other worshipers, to the parents who are too busy attending to their child to get anything out of the sermon, and to the pastor who has to speak above the distraction. To me, there is a big difference between training a child to worship with you and just allowing a child to be in the service with you, and I think it is really important to distinguish between the two.
I have a daughter who is almost 2 and a 3 month old son. Our church does worship at the end of the service and we do enjoy sometime bringing our daughter into the service to worship with us and think that is important, and I have kept my sleeping son in a carrier during service too, but we usually take advantage of the nursery and enjoy having time to worship God and hear His word without the distraction of our children. Maybe to some that is considered selfish, but I also think it is selfish to keep your children in service with you when they are being a distraction and disrespectful to others in the service.
Again, I’m not against children being in the service with their families, but I think that there is a fine line between when a family’s desire to have their children with them becomes a detriment to someone else’s ability to worship and listen to the sermon. Mainly, when a child is not behaving appropriately, but is not taken out of the service promptly.
These posts have definitely encouraged me though to think and pray about how we as a family want to raise our children to be a part of the church, the body of Christ.
Training Children to be included in church is very important. My boys are only 6 & 7 so I have not seen the results of their grown up years but we started training them a few years ago. It was not easy but we stuck it out even amidst disapproving stares. Now the 7yr old sometimes takes note of the scriptures that are mentioned in the service and the 5yr old sits well enough and asks me to explain certain words or phrases the preacher would use.
We are attempting to step it up a notch by requiring them to express their love for God by clapping and singing along with the rest of us. This one is taking a bit longer but we will not give up. It is very important that our children learn to love God.
They see us passionately worshipping God with lifted hands, loud voices, clapping and dancing and we want them to experience the same joy we do in worshipping God.
This is an article everyone with children should read.
Thank you for such a wonderful series. As a Catholic we don’t have children’s programs, so I am always on the look out for ways to keep my little ones quiet. What has worked for me is sitting in the front and explaining what is happening. I also have a church bag that has the Lord’s Prayer printed in the front. In it it has the book The Mass for Children, so they can follow along and some quiet activities, lacing, coloring. I think I will add a small etch-a-sketch. When my sons get restless my husband takes them outside for a quick reminder and a breath of fresh air. He does this for 5 mins. or less since we don’t won’t to encourage bad behavior just so they can get out of mass (we’ve seen this more than once). We need to be more consistent with family worship.
Thanks Lindsey for the great ideas. I think I will try looking for activities relating to the Sunday readings from now on.
I don’t believe that well-behaved (not perfect, but reasonably behaved) children are any more distracting than anyone else. Adults fidget, and sneeze – and occasionally some even fall asleep and snore. If we don’t serve a God who is big enough to draw someone to Him despite tiny things like this, then He isn’t much of a God. I’m just sayin’.
Lindsay, when my kids were little we brought pipe cleaners for them to play with during church. They love forming them into shapes and they don’t make a noise, even when you drop them on the floor! When they got a little older my husband would write down a few key words from the sermon’s topic and the kids would keep a tally of how many times each of those words was said–it got them listening a little more. When they were little I would whisper the words of the songs into their ear, so they could sing along and so they could understand what we were singing about. Love this series!
I am not trying to stir anything up, but I do have a few comments. I am a former Nursery and Preschool Director of a church. It was my job to ensure that we didn’t do “childcare” as some have called it. Our job was to make sure each child/family experienced Jesus with every interaction: this means from checking in, to hearing the gospel, to having a snack and learning to pray, to taking up offering, and worshipping through song together, etc.
I am not saying that children can’t sit or shouldn’t sit in a worship service with their parents. I am saying that some of the comments have suggested that their children need to see them worship- why are they not seeing you worship in the home?
Some of the comments talked about going “to” church or being “in” church. Church isn’t a building and we should be striving to teach our children that. I tell my one year old that we are going to be with our church. These means when we go to small group Bible study, large worship service, or the nursery.
One more thing, and then I will climb off my soapbox. Have you thought about the fact that your child may be hindering someone else from hearing the gospel? I am NOT in any way suggesting that a guest at your church’s salvation is worth more than you or your child’s, but if this is the ONLY place a person will hear the gospel and your child will hear it at home (as they should be), shouldn’t you try to help the rest of your church family in making a guest feel as comfortable as possible so that they can hear what God has to say?
I do plan to take my son into the large group worship service with me when I feel he is ready, but I will not at the expense of someone who is not saved and I will not at the expense of preventing him from beign able to hear the gospel presented on his level and being able to spend time with others his age.
I wholeheartedly agree that family worship should be taking place regularly at home! Thank you for encouraging others to practice that regularly. Church is definitely not about the building but rather about the gathering together of believers to worship the Lord. I see it not only as including my children with watching me but also observing others…we are all a part of the body of Christ and so are my children. “Church” – the gathering together of believers to enjoy the Savior can and should happen in many different environments.
As to the thought about children hindering another from hearing the gospel, I do not think in any way that any one is encouraging families to remain in the service if the child is distracting or obnoxious. We are in the process of training, but if a child gets loud, we will take them out to discipline or talk with them immediately and accordingly. It does take sensitivity, thought and care. But I do not think that a few moments hustle to the back to quiet a whimpering child will cause significant distraction. Plus, most of the time these families with small children are sitting near the rear of the church purposefully…so they can make a quick exit if necessary. I hope that helps clarify.
The preceeding posts have wonderful, practical ideas for helping young ones be successful in appropriate church behavior. I agree that training children to sit quietly at church must begin at home during the week. It is not expecting too much for healthy children who have plenty of active play during the rest of the day to sit quietly for periods of time during church or other special occasions. Training children to sit quietly while being read to, listening to music, or listening to audio sermons or lectures at home prepares them to be still and quiet at church. It also improved our sons’ behavior in church when we would verbally rehearse appropriate behavior while driving to church each Sunday: We will use our “indoor” voices in the church. We will only walk in the church. We will sit still and be quiet when Pastor Richard talks. Then as we drove home from church, each family member would share a blessing from the service. During Sunday lunch, my husband and I discussed the sermon with the boys (beginning when they were 3-4 yrs. old). We would define words, explain themes, and ask questions appropriate to their level of understanding. As a result, our sons were usually excited about church, learned to listen well, and grasped some major theology at young ages. The fruit we are now seeing is both boys’ salvation and growing spiritual maturity. At 21 and 16, they love the Lord and are serving the body of Christ faithfully in our church and reaching out to others for Christ in the community. May we persevere in training up a generation faithful to Him.
Interesting posts, Lindsay. Thanks!
My almost three-year-old son loves to come to “service” with us. He used to always go to child care, and then I think he felt like he was missing out. So we are more than happy to bring him with us on most days! (we have our baby with us, too) I do bring a few toys and small snacks, and he usually does a great job. Another thing I love to do is whisper in his ear about what our pastor is saying — things that I think he would find interesting at his age. Or I draw pictures for him regarding the message. Then I can pay attention, too!
Thanks again for an encouraging post. My husband and I feel better than ever about including our little ones in the service. Thanks for sharing your wisdom on this topic, and thanks to the other ladies who shared as well. Also, thanks for the 2 great resources that you mentioned on twitter today!
I strongly agree with the point about not letting them go out and play if they are misbehaving! If mine have been especially difficult, though, I may not return to the sanctuary. In that case, I have been known to take them out and discipline them, then require them to sit quietly on my lap (as they would have in the service) in another room. That way further discipline doesn’t cause a disruption in the service, but they get the message that misbehaving doesn’t get them a free ticket to play; they still have to sit in one place until the service is over.
I am so glad you posted about this. Our church is making a push for children to be in church and it is making many people, parents included, uncomfortable. Our son likes to come to church, so it is easy for us. I love the ideas here about simple toys. We take a special sketch book (a moleskin, hardcover journal) and a few markers. We don’t offer this until the sermon. The beginning part has so much to engage him–music, spoken prayers, etc. And his “sit span” is about 20-30 minutes right now, so when the sermon begins, he has just about done what he can do alone. I offer the sketch book and usually a treat–gum or a small candy. My husband’s Dutch Reformed heritage includes a long history of folks sucking on a King Mint during the sermon
I also love that one mom mentioned sitting up close. Our church reserves seats in the back for families… so they can dash when little ones get unruly… but my son is so much less engaged back there. In the front, we are on display for all to see, which is hard on a bad day, but the chances of a child being interested in all that is going on (instruments, singing, communion elements, baptism, etc.) is much better if the child is up close.
I loved all the ideas! Great for anytime we need our kiddos to be quiet!
Thanks for hosting this topic, even if our family does things differently, it was great to read about how others worship the Lord!
Blessings!
Lindsay,
Thank you so much for these entries. I’ve been excitedly awaiting them. This is something I’ve been wrestling with for months. I knew before my little one was born I wanted to keep him in church with us, but that was before I knew how hard it would be to keep a busy little boy in a church service where all the other little kids were in nursery or children’s church. It has really been a time of prayer and studying for me and God has really been solidifying the whys of it. I so much appreciate the tips and guidance from you and other moms who have been there. It is such an encouragement. Thank you.